Tuesday, November 07, 2017

In which the pond sorts out the issue of dinkum, thanks to the lizards of Oz and the Terror ...


There is much talk of the damned furriners amongst us in this day's Oz ... we're being overrun by them and they should be called out at the very start ... 

And to show the way,  the reptiles have been busy rooting out all the usual heretics and suspects ...

For a start Malware has fallen into line with the pinko pervert socialists like the craven, cowardly, supine, spineless jellyback he is ...


And in turn that news sent the reptiles into digital overdrive ...


Oh no, not meeting with GetUp! 

The pond won't be able to sleep tonight. Why, news that Liberals had met with Satan herself would have sat more easily with the pond ...

Naturally yesterday the Bolter made a meal of it all in the Terror, and jumped to the conclusion he's been jumping to all year ...


Pesky furriners, socialists, Comrade Bill and devious satatic GetUp! hordes everywhere, and the impotent spineless one devising a test which replicates the test already in place ...

Oh what to do, what to do ...

Fortunately the answer came at the top of the reptile digital opinion page ...


What a relief. 

It turns out we're all still Poms, and to explain the situation, the reptiles had dug up Pembo to reassure everybody, because let's face it, the clowns in the High Court simply don't have a clue ...

They've never had a clue, and they're certainly not up to having a clue now ...


Indeed, indeed, and there's little doubt we remain Poms and are loyal to the Queen of Britain ... an argument the pond frequently has at Heathrow when it stands in line ...


The foolish Poms never get it and the results can be unfortunate for other travellers stuck behind the pond, as important historical insights are offered to the border folk and they blithely ignore the pond's potent arguments...


Never mind, the pond thought it might be fun to offer up a contrasting Terror view, so that the pond could indulge in one of its notorious tributes to William Burroughs' cut and paste method of putting together a blog ...

It came alongside the Bolter's outburst and astonishingly, in due course, the Terror conceded that the greenies might have been right ... but it was also a great opportunity to give Elizabeth Farrelly and Beyonce a good pounding ...


Who else but the Terrorists could mix in Beyonce in a discussion of the constitution, as a way of leavening the rather lumpy sourdough bread of fundie clap happy Morrison?

Well we won't find any of that with Pembo as he patiently continued to explain how we're all Poms, or possibly we're all Spartacus ...


Hah! You see? The pond can work in a bit of hunky flesh too, quicker than a Terrorist can say Beyonce or Pembo can explain how we're all really Poms ...


Indeed, indeed, we are all Poms serving her British imperial majesty, and possibly we're all Spartacus too, but rather than serve up more hunks of male flesh, why not return to the Terrorists, now dragging petulant Peta into their routine ...


Now it goes without saying that the Terrorists have clearly failed to understand that we're all Poms at heart, and on the surface too, but now gentlemen and ladies, it's last drinks, and please allow Pembo to offer the last shout of warm as piss British beer ... (please, fish and chips must be eaten outside but anyone capable of warmed-up baked beans will be considered dual dinkum Brit and Oz citizens) ...


Sadly for Pembo, the Terrorists don't sound too keen on being Pommie bastards, as they made clear in their final shout ... 

These hapless wretches in their inner city Surry Hills 'leet eerie seemed to think it was a simple matter to become dinkum ...


Oh dear, it probably isn't Spartacus either ...but what a sign that the Terrorists have been driven mad at the thought of being Pom, talking of greenies having been absolutely correct and gifted with common sense.

Why it's worse than Liberals hanging around with Satan herself ...

Never mind, the pond is profoundly pleased to have helped sort everything out ... and if stout-hearted John Alexander turns out to be a Pom, how pleasing for him to learn that makes him dinkum to his bootstraps ...

No doubt he'll explain it to the High Court and everything will be hunky dory and after Brexit we can get back to the important business of singing the proper anthem and saluting the proper flag ...



And now after all that warm as piss British beer, what better way to celebrate than to down a chully Rowe cartoon, with more icy Rowes available at the counter here ...

Yes you too can be a Royal tax evader and consider yourself a dinkum Aussie ...



5 comments:

  1. The question of whether Australians were once British, how and why they became otherwise, and how this relates to the debate about dual-national parliamentarians is surely one that Polonius should explore.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Indeed, indeed, here's hoping Polonius follows up with a splendid prattle, though his ostensible republicanism makes him almost Irish and might be a stumbling block ...

      Delete
  2. What a confusing mess of an article.

    Pembo doesn't even attempt to explain how Britain can not be a foreign power when Australia was recognized as a 'de facto' independent state after 1986.

    All he does is question whether the history underpinning Sue v Hill was "wrong" but he makes no attempt to explain what the "right" history is or was.

    The rest is simply him blathering about things he clearly doesn't fully understand but tries to cover this deficiency by appealing to the ordinary persons take on meaningless things like the Queen's titles and the blurb on our passports.

    He must have written this piece on the pub stool with Chris Mitchell.

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    Replies
    1. The pond is enormously gratified that someone actually read the piece in its entirety and tried to make sense of it. Now you're ready to climb Mount Everest, as we all dream of doing ...

      Delete
    2. "...and tried to make sense of it"

      Aye, there's the rub DP, because anybody who actually could make any sense of it has clearly shown that she (or he) is as much a weirdo and as full of the Kool Aid as the author.

      And contrary to today's Calvin and Hobbes, I personally don't take "the funnies" anywhere near that seriously yet.

      Delete

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