Friday, September 22, 2017

In which the pond is confused by the cawing Crowe and the parroting Ando ...


The reptiles, and so the pond, always try to stay on the light side, but sometimes the comedy is too rich for even the best reptile correspondent, and it's best to go with dry understatement ...

The lawyer for One Nation senator Malcolm Roberts has said his client's credibility may have been affected by evidence given during a lengthy cross-examination at the High Court on Thursday. (ABC here).

The mighty Roberts had credibility? Who knew?

When he asked the High Court to consider his citizenship status, Senator Roberts further confused matters by repeatedly refusing to say when he filled in the form renouncing his British citizenship and paid the associated fee.

Never mind, the comedy is rich, and speaking of confusion, the reptiles, the cawing Crowe and so the pond were mightily confused this day ...

At first it seemed clear-cut, with the cawing Crowe at the top of the opinion page making a bold, brave statement:


That seemed might clear, but suddenly later in the day, the bold statement became a question ...


Perhaps because it was completely befuddled by a statement turning into a question, the pond ended up with John Anderson ...


Sure, the lawyers getting agitated, and the meretricious Merritt attending to their homophobia was tempting, but Ando is such a twit, who could resist?

Now it's true these days there aren't many who can remember Anderson, and perhaps some even confuse him with a philosopher of the same name, but perhaps that's because Ando's  only political accomplishment came late in his career ...

In September 2004, independent federal MP Tony Windsor claimed that he had been approached by a figure associated with the National Party with the offer of a diplomatic position in exchange for retiring from his seat of New England, which he won from the National Party in 2001, at the 2004 election. In November speaking under parliamentary privilege, Windsor said that it was Anderson, and National Party Senator Sandy Macdonald, who had made the offer, through an intermediary, Tamworth businessman Greg McGuire. Anderson, McDonald and McGuire all denied the claims. (Greg Hunt it here).

Unlike the philosopher, this Anderson was and is a bear of very limited brain, and in his rustic way, was inclined to sound like a parrot or a braying donkey, which is why in this outing for the reptiles, he endlessly mimics little Johnny ...

Now for those who can remember as long ago as this morning, the pond celebrated the way that in talking of SSM the Terrorist editorialist turned the subject to cricket.

Anderson, in a bold brave bid to prove he's a much more stupid man, resorts to towns in the way of a flood ...


Fourth, is it possible that such a stupid man could manage to make the pond grateful for having a kiwi as deputy PM?

Why yes, indeedy do ...the comedy's better for a start ...




But back to Anderson, still parroting away, as koala bears of limited brain are wont to do ...


Now the pond anticipates, should SSM come to pass, that it will still be able to call John Anderson a dingbat dropkick fuckwit of the first water, and John Howard a war criminal ...while the Devine will still call the pond a secular satanist destined to spend an eternity in hellfire ...

And everybody can enjoy the way that Anderson is now a forlorn fuckwit sounding a foghorn from the misty past, while we all have a great new deputy PM ...


And so back to the cawing Crowe, with the google splash seeming to clarify matters, with the question asked and answered in the one go ...


The cawing Crowe does his very best to predict that the onion muncher will be a loser and Malware a winner ...


The pond knew before even getting into the listicle that it needed some reassurance that the country was in the best of hands ...


That's better, now it's on with the listicle ...



Yes, but we already know that all the onion muncher's got to offer is nattering negativity of a neigh-saying kind ...


... which means that if they lose the battle - no guaranteed thing - the onion muncher's troops will re-group in parliament and try to make a mess of things.

And the cawing Crowe's best advice to Malware is to do a Pontius Pilate and let parliament and comrade Bill do the hard yards as a way of avoiding the sting of the viper in their midst ...

We've been there before, a long time ago ...


It takes a peculiar kind of optimism to imagine that Malware is going anywhere but down.

If Crowe is to be believed, a "no" vote will suit Malware fine, and a "yes" vote will suit him fine, provided everybody else does the hard yards, and somehow mystically, whatever arises from the vote will work in his favour and see the viper in his midst done down ...


No wonder Turnbull says this will be parliament at its best?

Isn't this the very same man that said copper and HFC and multi-nodal nonsense would be broadband at its best?

Isn't this the very same man that said climate science was a bit of a worry and then concluded that more coal was the solution?



Ah, so that's what the cawing Crowe is wearing this week ...

Meanwhile, on another planet, Rowe celebrates the deeds of the best comedian in a generation of astute climate scientists, with more Rowe here ...




3 comments:

  1. Anderson: “the new absolutists"

    Gawd, as if anyone writing for a News Ltd rag isn't a free speech absolutist. Which roughly translates to: "we want to be able to slag off and slander whoever we want without fear of legal retribution".

    The churches don't care about that, they just don't want to lose another confessional sin. Especially not one of their biggest and most reliable ones. I wonder just how many young men and women have been guilted into serving the church over the years?

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  2. Anderson: "...restrain speech on marriage. We have seen an example of this with the treatment of Julian Porteous, the Catholic Archbishop of Hobart."

    1. Porteous's "speech" was not in fact "restrained" in the least. He continues to lie unabated.
    2. The complaint wasn't about what he said about SSM, but about the lying insults he aimed at gay parents.

    So, a perfect example of your thesis, DW: tell a lie, then have everybody repeat it endlessly until it is indistinguishable from truth, at least in the eyes of the reptiles.

    So anyway, here's my contribution: Abbott's head-butter wasn't a Yes campaigner but in fact a No campaigner wanting to harm the Yes campaign. OK, let's just repeat that one endlessly, regardless of what anybody says.

    PS DP: another stuffable Enzedder: Joe 'Peanut farmer' Bjelke-Petersen.

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  3. When will the ABC learn that ham acting isn't funny satire? Let's Get Krackin' has it's moments, but isn't subtle enough to be regarded as classic comedy, despite what the Graudian may say. Saying "fuck" a lot and lifting up your skirts is not a sign of humour, more a sign of desperation. Go back to the kitchen Kates.

    ReplyDelete

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