Thursday, September 21, 2017

In which the bromancer celebrates the Donald saving the world and Merkel ruining it ...


The pond knows there can be fierce arguments over which scribbler for the lizard Oz is the most beguiling and entertaining reptile of them all ...

Each has their charms - who can deny Dame Slap or the Oreo? - but the pond has a very sentimental soft spot for the bromancer, who can always be relied on to deliver a form of enlightenment, or at least a form of words ...

And as I sat there brooding on the old, unknown world, I thought of the bromancer’s wonder when he first picked out the green light at the end of the Donald's dock. He had come a long way to this blue lawn, and his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it. He did not know that it was already behind him, somewhere back in that vast obscurity beyond the city, where the dark fields of the republic rolled on under the night. 
The bromancer believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter — to-morrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther. . . . And one fine morning —— 
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.

And so to the fruit of the shrub of delusion, as the bromancer runs faster and stretches out his arms to embrace the Donald ...




Weird? Surely not, surely nothing is weird in this wonderful world of the bromancer ...



It's impossible to over-state how vastly relieved the pond was by this missive ... and the way that the Murdochians and the bromancer are bringing to heel rogue states that threaten the planet ...


If there's one thing better than the Donald, it's the bromancer channeling and explaining the Donald, and normalising him, and detailing why everything is for the best ...


Indeed, indeed, the pond is tuned, expecting many more wise words from the Donald ...


... and naturally to the bromancer translating and making sense of them in a way that you certainly won't find in that hand-wringing editorial scribbled by the NY Times ...

Oh it's a wonderful world, this world of the bromancer romancing the Donald, and the pond is wild-eyed awake, because as surely as the Donald holds out great hope for the world, Angela Merkel is going to ruin Germany and thereby ruin Europe and thereby ruin the world ...

The bromancer says it's so, and so it must be true, and so naturally the lizards of Oz put the news at the top of the digital page ...


Google loved the image of Merkel waving the flag of surrender ...


And why wouldn't she just give up and wave the flag of surrender, when the righteous, steely-eyed bromancer is hot on her trail, and ready to reduce her to nativist rubble ...


Indeed, indeed. This might be depressing news for a few stray readers. Here, have a couple of cartoons.



Ah good times, and now it seems we must remember how funny it was when the bromancer celebrated the Donald and his relentless lies and narcissist self-regard, while demolishing Merkel, Germany and Europe ...

Wow, and there was the pond thinking that anti-homosexual attitudes in London were due to the number of people who worked for Chairman Rupert living in town, or perhaps the number of Catholics, or perhaps a combination of both ... seeing as how when reading the lizard Oz down under it's often hard to pick between Daesh and the onion muncher when it comes to who's the fiercest hater of teh gays...


Truth to tell, you can take the nativist nationalist supremacist bigotry out of the Catholic, but damned if you can take away from the bromancing Catholic the singular capacity for blaming it all on the Islamics, or the bromancer's love of the farm yard troll ...



Yep, those damned Islamics and their invasion of Iraq and the flattening of Libya and the war in Afghanistan ... and when will all this damned Islamic fiddling end?

And now, having supped to the full on the wisdom of the Donald, the pond simply can't get enough of the bromancer's damnation of the sleepwalking Merkel ...


Indeed, indeed. The pond is truly baffled. Why is it that whenever the bromancer scribbles something the pond instinctively feels it's arse-end up, and even Merkel, not a naturally appealing politician, deserves some sympathy, with nativist tools and bigots possibly even more difficult to deal with than barking mad Islamic fundamentalist bigots ...

The baffling end? Merkel producing ruin, and the Donald and his wall the hope for the future, and as a result, cartoonists getting the future, and Ronnie Raygun, completely wrong ... ...


All the same, the pond decided on a cartoon-led recovery, in the hope that someone online would poke fun at Chairman Rupert and his minions ... with more cartoons at The New Yorker here ...





7 comments:

  1. "...nothing is weird in this wonderful world of the bromancer .."

    He's just the gay Fotherington-Thomas of the herpetarium.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Dorothy,

    Well ’Stay Tuned’ Sheridan and his ‘business as usual’ analysis of The Donald has certainly put any fears I had to rest. With advisors like this what could possibly go wrong?

    https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2017/09/donald-trump-peter-thiel-top-intelligence-advisory-post?mbid=social_twitter

    By the way the tale (tail?) of ‘If you give a mouse a fancy pillow’ is an example of the Diderot Effect;

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diderot_effect

    DiddyWrote

    ReplyDelete
  3. Any fule kno, GB, that even by the standards of St Custard's, the Bro must have been a particularly off-with-the-pixies student.

    A quick Google of Douglas Murray, turned up this review of the "brilliant" book that has provided the Bromancer with some easy copy; he's described as a "Rightwing journalist and commentator":
    https://www.theguardian.com/books/2017/may/06/strange-death-europe-immigration-xenophobia

    Okay, it's The Gruadian, so it's not all that surprising they the reviewer isn't particularly impressed. However they certainly don't appear to credit the book with much depth, stating that it "regurgitates the same misleading myths" as Nigel Farage and UKIP. Good to see that you're still in the shallow end of the intellectual and philosophical paddling pond, Bro.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Even by Sheridan standards, that's a doozy. The meaning of deterrence: you attack me, I start a world war? That's called... er, war, Greg. Deterrence works, supposedly, by that not happening. Yes, it's a slight quibble but with ramifications for, I don't know, the species. Perhaps the reptiles are oblivious to Armageddon because they and cockroaches are likely to survive it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You reckon that 'deterrence' might still be 'Mutually Assured Destruction', Anony.

      Trouble is both Kennedy and Khrushchev were relatively sane and sensible, qualities I'm not so sure about in Rocket Man and Agent Orange.

      Delete
  5. I'm not a fluent German speaker, but I would hazard that the Bromancer has rather taken Merkel's 2010 speech out of context. Listening to it at greater length, I took her to be saying that Germany's view of gastarbeiten (think 457's) in the 60's was that they would come and work for a while and then go back where they came from, and in the meantime everyone would just rub along. That is the idea that has failed - not just multiculturalism, but the notion that they would ever want to leave.

    In any case, she was addressing the German equivalent of the Young Liberals, so I think it's just like some of the carp Malware comes up with to keep people from jumping onto the Cory train.

    But claiming AfD will pick up 100 seats? Lol jokes. Oh that's right, he only claimed they could win 100 seats. Classic pundit-weaselry. There will be some Landes - mostly in the East where they still love coal, rassenhygiene and the KKK (kinder, kirchen, kuchen, the proper places for complementary women), where the Greens fall below the 5% minimum quota. That will free up some extra seats to be shared out, and AfD will benefit. But with their current numbers and distribution, they will probably get about 60. But the real issue is - who cares what AfD get? No other party will work with them, so they will have no say in government, except in the most unlikely of circumstances. The smart money is that Merkel's CDU/CSU (=liberal) will win the most seats, but will have to form a coalition, either with the SPD (=labor, sounds odd to us, but they've done it before) or with the FDP (=Lib-Dems) and Grune (=Greens), in the so-called "Jamaica coalition" - party colours are black (CDU), yellow (FDP) and green (Grune). AfD will be about as relevant to German politics as the no-friends Party of Bible-abiding Christians.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, left over from the 1960s there's "...4 million people, or "at least" or "more than" 4 million people, of full or partial Turkish origin in the country, or forming 5% of Germany's total population of 82 million inhabitants" according to Wikipedia [ https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Turks_in_Germany ]

      Delete

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