Saturday, July 15, 2017

In which prattling Polonius helps the pond understand Ming the Merciless ...


The reptiles are in a state of continuing uproar and dismay this day ... look at frantic Dame Slap mooshing the mushers in the middle, and lo, there's the dog botherer, attempting to sound sensible by pointing out sensible is somewhere to the right of Genghis Khan ...

Whenever the pond is confronted by this sort of crisis in the herpetarium, it is tempted to resort to ancient texts of yore ...


Ah, but the pond has been there before, with that wretched idle talk of forward progressive policies, thanks to Trove, and this crisis is now so extreme, the pond feels the need to shatter the glass and drag prattling Polonius out to opine ... because there is no better seer, no surer divine opiner and guide to the soul of Ming the Merciless than Polonius ...


The pond recognises it as a truly cunning ploy. Anyone who disagrees with Polonius will be asserting that Ming the Merciless was a great, wise, forward-thinking, liberal, enchanted by progressive policies essential to the future of Australia ...


Dear sweet long absent lord, the pond loves its "in which" moments ... are there any more?


Dear sweet long absent lord, that last list of "in which" moments sounds positively socialist, a cosseting from cradle to grave ... and in the usual Trove way, there's much more here about the founding of the Liberal Party, ironically in the wretched rag that gave the Murdochians the company name ...

But wait, while off gambolling gaily through old newspapers, the pond came upon this ...

 

That's just a gobbet from a long screed from a silly old, long forgotten, chook by the name of Warwick Smith, former Liberal Federal Member for Bass, scribbling away in The Canberra Times, 16th April 1993 here ...

Ah the old days, when a Liberal could shamelessly look the pond in the eye and assert they were liberal and progressive, experimental, yet not reactionary... even individualistic ...

But enough of the ancient texts, the pond needs an ancient reactionary as guide ... unleash the Polonial kraken ...



The pond stands corrected. What would van Onselen know? How could he know? Hmm, come to think of it, if that's the guideline, how on earth would that total twit Barry O'Farrell himself have the first clue ...

But wait, isn't it possible to have a WWMD, as a substitute for WWJD? After all, given Jesus's way with lepers and prostitutes and complimentary women and suchlike, he might have thought it was better for gays to marry than to burn in hell ...

Or some such thing. The pond always gets light-headed reading Polonius, but of course he's completely right.

Ming the Merciless was a bigoted reactionary old fuddy duddy even when he was young, blathering on about the British and being a tedious bore, with dictatorial and war mongering tendencies ... except, of course, when he was stealing Labor party policies and sounding like a bloody socialist ...


Now it will be noted here that Polonius spends most of his time establishing that Ming the Merciless was a war monger of epic proportions, and who could argue with Polonius? Why the pond is happy to agree that Ming was little short of a fascist in his foreign policy ...

At the same time, Polonius tiptoes around the many domestic policy points noted in the founding aims of the Liberal party, with many of these 'picket fence' policies trotted out through the 1950s. It seems most unfair of Polonius not to acknowledge that Ming the Merciless was a canny buyer of votes with government largesse, a pork barrelling skill picked up by little Johnny ...

Never mind, it's been a splendid outing, and the pond was vastly relieved to know it could maintain its contempt for anyone who expressed vague notions of common humanity, and shared dreams, hopes and desires ...

What's this Ming, and your talk of being a progressive and offering the pond a handsome boondoggle university scholarship?

Egad, if you're going to be that damned wet, sir (and madam), you belong in a swimming pool ... not the Polonial Liberal party ... please, dry yourself off, while the pond joins Polonius in a very dry sherry ...

And so to an apology ... yesterday the pond berated a certain ABC dress presenter and urged said presenter to dress in the pond style, as a missionary's daughter, and barely had the digital ink dried than said ABC presenter turned up dressed like this ...


Now she was in company with a motor-mouthed barrister who wanted the world to stop Russia and Putin-bashing ... because, you know, dictators, gottta love 'em ... but at least the pond left the room not for the clothing but because its view that all lawyers are twits was being reinforced much too strongly ... a dangerous state of mind if the pond ever needed legal advice ...



It's all on iView for anyone who might care; the pond would prefer to roll a relevant Rowe cartoon, with much more equally relevant and reliable Rowe here ...






3 comments:

  1. Dorothy what I remember of pig iron Bob is that he sent troops to Korea and an older brother came back destroyed from there with what was described as war neurosis.
    And later took his own life and battled alcoholism.
    So I look back with anger at the conservatives who were propped up by Murdoch and his support with propaganda through his news paper and unfortunately we are still being fed by the same conservatives with the IPA spreading their lies and are able to appear on on our national broadcaster and other outlets because they are propped by Ginia Reinhardt along with Murdoch and other extremists.
    And that is my ramble for today

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    Replies
    1. The pond had two uncles who came back from Korea buggered in the head, but luckily not in the body ...which is why the pond is always interested to hear of the war service records of those handing out white feathers ...like Ming the Merciless himself ...

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    2. Lest we forget the sterling service of Polonius during the Vietnam adventure.

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