Thursday, May 04, 2017

In which the pond, with deep perversity, keeps the company of the bromancer, despite the siren song of assorted tempters ...



As usual, the reptiles have put out a fine array of tasty treats this day, as good a serving of cold meats as might be found anywhere in the land.

Adani saving dinkum Aussie steel, while shipping decent Oz coal to the world, oi, oi, and the dog botherer having a fainting fit ...

Yep, the man who sued the ABC for daring to have freedom of speech is all in a lather about his status as a present day Voltaire ...

If he wasn't such a silly dog botherer, the pond would have treated it as irony overload, but in reality, the pond could find more uses for a crow bar or a jemmy ...

Naturally the bouffant one was also in a state of coal ecstasy ...



Over at the Terror, the Bolter was doing a double-barrelled assault, in Bolter style ...



It reminded the pond of the sort of hardware to be found in The Untouchables, or perhaps Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels (though the pond remains true to The Long Good Friday).



This is why the pond can't do the Bolter. He's so predictable, in a moronically repetitious way - of course the Bolter isn't biased, of course the ABC is biased, of course Malware's school plan is a failure before it started, of course Malware is a disaster, of course the onion muncher is the way of the future.

The Bolter, in the end, with his dullard fixations, and his prissy neuroses, begun like spouting mushrooms in rural South Australia, many years ago, is simply too boring even for the pond, which specialises in the unspeakable and the tedious ...

But then the pond frequently breaks this rule. Look at the other reptile choice on offer today ... the bromancer or gorgeous George, another in the conga line of lickspittle coal lovers given an airing by the lizard Oz ...



Gorgeous George is always fun, and an easy target - the pond could probably hit him with a single barrel and never mind the spread. 

Bernard Keane thought George and the reptiles of Oz deserved both barrels in a recent piece for Crikey (behind the paywall for those who can):



For those who lost track, the Muslim country was Malaysia and the story's been all over the intertubes ...

How perverse is it then for the pond to end up with the bromancer as its preferred lunchtime dance partner ...



It's perfect of course.

Just as Malware abandons ScoMo and the budget to race across to the United States to play lap dog to a mad man, the bromancer suddenly gets terribly nostalgic and affectionate about the Poms ...



And then reading it, the pond got defiant. Take that knockers, doubters, churls ...

The bromancer has still got it. Who else could writer a line about proudly defending Xian heritage, though of course with no disrespect to other religions.

These barbarian pagan unbelievers, or believers in false gods, are off to an eternity of hellfire for their filthy perversions and alien hideous beliefs, no disrespect intended, none at all ...

And who couldn't admire a man who wholeheartedly embraces the onion muncher and the Anglosphere, being very careful to exclude the likes of India and South Africa. 

Oh sure they might like cricket, one might even be good at rugger, but there's simply too many blacks and browns on view - no disrespect to Asians intended of course. Let's face it, if some Asian gets over-sensitive about this sort of thing, it just shows how thin-skinned they are.  They should just snort their British-approved opium and settle down. By the way, aren't Indians funny when they try to speak English - they always sound just like Peter Sellers. No offence intended of course, that goes without saying, it's all just a jolly jape amongst chums, and if Indians don't get it, they should just enjoy their chutney ...

As for the coming war, what a grand summary of the current friendly times and the help that's to hand, as guaranteed by sharing the same Queen.

It seems we shouldn't worry if Singapore has fallen, and the North Koreans are marching through New Guinea, because the Poms might might not go to war for us ...

They might drag off all Australia's troops to help in Britain's war, what with the North Koreans marching through France ...

And as they did a comparative checklist of relative plights, they would do a lot to help us in any circumstance ... you know, food parcels and knitted woollies for the winter chill.

Well we've been there before (as in Curtin's site here):


But the pond will concede one advantage to speaking English - its familial relationship to Gaelic and the German language having long disappeared into the mists of time - and that's the opportunity to enjoy a Steve Bell cartoon, with more Bell at the Graudian here ...







But that's enough of a break and enough of a lunchtime treat, because now the Sheridan has to get all teary and dewy eyed and misty about the Irish and the Canadians and plucky Kiwis (sheep jokes have been banned from this solemn occasion, so that people can get to there by starting from here in their desire to score some maple syrup, eh?)



We share a world view with Donald Trump?

It's awesome birdbrained shit, and the pond frequently wonders what the bromancer drops before he sits down to pound the keyboard. Is it a tab of acid, or a drop of ecstasy.

That talk of Asians, with its barely concealed racism, and its celebration of the UK, took the pond back to the glory days of Ming the Merciless and the times when "continental" meant dangerously explicit movies at the Roma ...

The pond always loves it when someone starts off with that line, "I'm no racist ... but ...", and jeez, darling, I luvs ya and your Asian ways, but that hottie from the UK, I dunno, there's something aobut the way she moves ...




Damn you, filthy perverted continentals, and your suspiciously slimy ways ... you're all off to hell, enjoy your tennis balls ...

As for sharing a world view with Donald Trump ...


Now just be honest and admit it. Who needs the Bolter when the bromancer kindly does a bit of lunchtime pleasuring, the sort of frottage he probably learned when studying the rich heritage offered by Queen Victoria and her Victorians ...

And now the pond should pause to note poor Pope, one of the canaries in the Fairfax mine ...how typical it was that management announce the cuts on a day supposed to have some international significance.

Well freedom must mean the chance to pursue other opportunities ... what a pity that management, hauling in buckets of cash to downsize, degrade and ruin the business, didn't pursue that dream  of freedom ...

The business and the brand is fucked now, and this talk of financing of independent journalism ... isn't that what's supposed to be happening with the ABC, at least before it became 'their ABC'?

Meanwhile, more Pope here ... give him a click in lieu of wondering how Greg Hywood wakes up each morning, looks in a mirror and fails to shatter it. A saving of $30 million to pay for $30 million in executive bonuses as a reward for driving the brand into the ground?






7 comments:

  1. The Bromancer: "Every aspect of the modern Australian character has a Celtic dimension."

    Hmmm. It's just like he thinks that we, and the Pomegranates we came from, are largely descended from "Celts". But in fact, many believe that modern genetic studies show that we are, in fact, largely descended (about 60%) from Basques and that, in fact, there is no identifiable 'Celtic' genetic pattern at all.

    Oh, and the the 'Angles, Saxons, Jutes, Vikings and Normans' are actually a very small part of the genetic heritage.
    [ http://www.typicallyspanish.com/news-spain/history/How_Basque_are_the_British.shtml ]

    Do you think maybe the Bromancer has got it all wrong once again ?

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  2. Wow - how does the Bromancer do it? He takes a stack of 1950s- based personal opinions and biases, a range of stale cliches and a few examples of patronising stereotyping, slaps them all together with a thin coating of very dull prose, and then has the barefaced cheek to present it all as fact-based, 21st Century analysis. And then he actually manages to get paid for it! The man’s a modern-day alchemist, managing to consistently turn shit into gold.

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    Replies
    1. Very good Anon.He likely has a secret stash of Santamaria on 8-track tape also.

      Delete
  3. Mark Day says it all,really: "if a publishing company cannot­ offer journalistic quality, it has nothing to offer." (in The Oz, today)

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  4. An example of poor journalism was the effort of Sales on the 7.30 last night she interviewed Laws who said he thought Howard was a good Prime Minister.
    How could he say that when he was one of trio of political leaders that Killed thousands of innocent people in Iraq.
    And then listening to Karvelis tonight radio national interviewing Beetroot and him continually lambasting the ALP. This was so sickening

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  5. The only thing Sheridan drops when he sits down to type is his pants....and he is definitely Ned Flanders handed.
    I would love to pop a tab of California Sunshine down his neck and leave him in the sand dunes behind Gunnamatta for a day. Or longer! It might even help the poor sod.

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  6. I daresay the poms know vastly more than Australians about the "Asian ways" displayed in India.

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