Sunday, April 02, 2017

In which the reptiles work to light the fuse of a war on whites ...


The Devine scored the top splash in today's Terror ... well, it was below the men with no necks who give each other concussion so they might enjoy brain damage in their old age, but hey newspapers have got to sell ...

The pond is over the Devine. She was mentioned in despatches earlier in the day, but the pond should note with admiration the way the Devine seized on an error to drum up a larger fear ... the war on whites.

This war has been gathering momentum of late amongst the reptiles, as they pound the drums of war - can a war on North Korea be far behind? - with the Devine ending her piece this way ...


What does this establish? Well first of all, it suggests what a humourless, paranoid, screeching, wretched creature the Devine is ...

The ancient lamb ad she calls "recent" actually turned up on YouTube in September 2016 ...



It was clearly tongue in cheek, and designed to be good humoured in the way of advertisers who don't really give much of a stuff about anything except selling their product ...




All it did for the pond was remind how little lamb was in the diet these days, compared to Tamworth, when a Sunday roast was obligatory, and chops filled the week-day tea-time schedule ...

Others were similarly agitated, not realising the lamb folk were conducting  a war on whites ...


Actually the pond would rather be eating a stir-fried pork with lashings of chilis and garlic and a decent Asian-derived garnish of herbs and spices and sauces - besides, it's always handy to offend both Jews and Islamics, and pork does that trick.

Speaking of offence, no doubt the Devine would have been agitated by that more recent, wholesome and inclusive lamb ad - if you can count Australia day as recent, as we plunge towards Easter, and Terrorist warmongering on Anzac Day ...



All that only served to remind the pond is that if you go searching for lamb in Enmore or Newtown, good luck with the hunt. Thai, Vietnamese, Japanese, Chinese, Indian/Pakistani with a tandoor bias are all the go, and whenever the pond ventures out, it feels like a post-lamb nirvana ...

Sure you can do a good stir fry with a lean lamb fillet, but the pond would rather eat kangaroo ...

Never mind, it reminded the pond of the golden rule ... if you can offend the likes of the Devine, the marketing campaign probably is working ...

The same applies to student newspapers, where the war on whites has produced a similar sort of lathering, frothing and foaming agitation in the reptiles...

Shameless lazy racist slut that he is, the Bolter was busy recycling the story that turned up in the reptiles of Oz about the student newspaper Woroni ...

In the lizard Oz, it was presented with an ideological skew ...


But the Bolter, being deeply racist, knew how to skew it for his racist readers, heating it up with talk of the war on whites in the header ...


The pond couldn't quite work out how "no whites were welcome" when the main walk-out was a student the reptiles had described as "half-Chinese" ...

But then the pond has no idea why Joske is described as half-Chinese in the Oz story, as recycled by the racist Bolter.

Does he carry dual passports? Or are we back in the land of the mulatto, quadroon and octoroon? Is he an Australian citizen or resident? Do we need to know more than that? Do we even need to know any of that?

It is of course a form of dog whistling, a way of reassuring the white racists that even a dog of mixed origins knew the war on the whites had started.

As for the idea of a student newspaper devising special issues, this is as old as the hills, and just as problematic for those inclined to feel excluded (as for the notion that student newspapers are in a position to break hard news ... )

Back in the day, the pond's preferred student newspaper, Tharunka (not that the pond was on the UNSW campus, it's just that student newspapers circulated from campus to campus), devoted issues to drugs, women, pornography, you name it ...

In Wendy Bacon's day, the rag was notorious for offending everything that moved, or anything that had been dead for months, and special editions were all the go.

They were still doing special editions in 1995 ...


Heck they were doing them in 2015 ...



This always led to talk, demands, for special men's editions, though as men usually ended up with the plumb jobs, it often resulted in business as usual outside the special editions ...


And so on.

Sometimes when the right got hold of student rags, there were the usual complaints about things going wrong, as with this outburst in Woroni ...


Oh indeed, indeed, the fiendish Murdochians, and for anyone wanting to pursue student reading, Woroni and Tharunka can be found on Trove - start here ... what an invaluable resource it is, how starved of funds it is ...

But back to the war on whites.

Surely the best a student newspaper can hope for isn't hard news, but to offend people. Surely the main point is to be offensive ... and if cultivating minorities offends the reptiles of Oz, and the routinely offensive Bolter, so much the better ...

Tharunka once ran this pitch back in 2002, though in a font and a style that managed to fill up an entire page ...

How thick is your skin? Why does Tharunka want to offend everyone? Because we can? Or because we know you are completely desensitised? How far can we go before you complain? Here is a list of quotations which do not necessarily represent the views of anyone in the Guild or Tharunka. If you are offended by any of the following statements, simply fill in the tear-off slip and return to the Guild Reception at your convenience. The results will then be published and discussed in ensuing editions. All men are assholes. All women are bisexual. Paedophile priests are victims of celibacy. Those who plead consent in sexual assault cases might not always be lying. The disabled can make a lot of money in pornography. The glass ceiling is just an excuse for ineptitude. Not all Asylum Seekers are genuine peace-loving refugees. Osama bin Laden did what 5 billion others wanted to do. The world would be safer if women were in charge. Old people are more expensive than dead people. Ethnic people smell. Those who can do, those who can't, teach. Prostitutes are new-age feminists. Spending money on space exploration is more rewarding than spending it on humanitarian aid. Drug dealers are just speeding up the inevitable. Journalists are thought-police. Ferals make good speed bumps for logging trucks. Little kids on Ecstasy should try Heroin. Ethnic cleansing is the only solution to the Middle East problem. Politicians have to lie to make the system work. We are One Nation under God. Animals should be used for cosmetic testing because they have no feelings. Incest is a purely cultural taboo. Without the Holocaust, you wouldn't be here. A cab driver who knows the way to the airport is a true blue Aussie. Professional sportspeople are all in it for the money. University education is no match for real experience. Religion is propaganda. Mormons are the true chosen people. You can only be one of God's chosen people if you prevent sick kids from getting blood transfusions. All heterosexuals are just denying their innate homoerotic urges. Artists are self-indulgent crap-merchants. The Mardi Gras is a celebration of reverse discrimination. Friends are just people you want to have sex with. War makes the best TV. Hiroshima is a nice city. People get body-piercings to fill their empty lives. UNSW is a shit campus with no soul and a lot of students who couldn't give a toss about anyone but themselves. If there were no volunteer fire-fighters, there'd be no bushfires. Student activists need to get a life. Mothers should stay home to look after their children if they want to raise worthwhile people. Cancer is another form of natural selection. Take up smoking. Private school boys only get jobs because of their parents. Women's sport is boring, unathletic and should receive no sponsorship. Penises are just there to be chopped off. Female circumcision is about cultural relativity. Only orgasm makes men placid. The landing of the First Fleet is a glorious page in Australia's history. Without sweat shops, poverty would be worse. Poor people shouldn’t have babies Anyone who lives on the North Shore or in the Eastern Suburbs is an arrogant Gucci-wearing, latte-sipping snob. Westies should stay west. Parents of suicide victims only have themselves to blame. Love is a four letter word. And so is cunt. Are you offended yet?

Feeble enough, but what might be expected when prodding student corpses in a brave bid to produce signs of life ...



Well yes, and happily Woroni has offended the Bolter, arch doofus and race war agitator, so naturally he filled out his blog with a form:

Woroni Offended Me and I saw the End of Civilisation as we know it ...


Uh huh, and yet, in the charmed world of the Bolter, these cartoons aren't ugly ...and have nothing to do with racism, or the division of the nation into warring tribes...





So it goes. But it's surely clear enough that the Bolter is a racist prick who wants things to turn ugly, and possibly violent, and the sooner the better, and if evidence can be found in a minor squabble in a minor student newspaper, so much the better ...

Suddenly there's racist talk of the Balkans - as if the Bolter was some pommy lord instead of a Dutch import - and anxiety about the leaders of tomorrow, and violence in the streets.

Gasp, what if some of the leaders of tomorrow might not be Anglo-Saxon ...?

Dwell on that alarming prospect ...

Meanwhile, as the Devine and the Bolter work hard at the race wars - to be found everywhere, from lamb ads to student newspapers - think of the copy, think of the uglification, think of the derision, think of the race wars to follow as the News Corp rags click bait their way to oblivion ...

By coincidence, this day The Insiders signed off its cartoon corner with this, and what's good enough for the Jesuits here is good enough for the pond ...


They also offered up this tweet ...


And there was also a frame or two of this ...


Video alarm detected! The slaughter of innocent Mark Latham ... serial killers on the streets looking for whites ... it's clear the race wars have begun ...


4 comments:

  1. I'm a Muslim and I'm not offended by your liking for pork though I do think you're missing out on something very good when you avoid lamb. None of the Jews I've known would be troubled by your eating pork either. The prohibition applies to us (Muslims and Jews) not to anyone else. We're not like some crusading vegans (with all due respect - I've had some good vegan food and not really missed the meat short term.)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah well, the pond has given up alcohol, so maybe we can share a little lamb sometime too ...

      Delete
    2. Roasted, DP. The only proper way to have lamb is roasted.

      Like this:

      Insert a slice of garlic into each slit with the thyme. Whisk the remaining oil and lemon juice together in a small bowl and drizzle over the lamb. Season the lamb with pepper. Roast in preheated oven, basting with pan juices occasionally, for 1 1/4 hours for medium or until cooked to your liking.

      And preferably with roasted potatoes and roasted pumpkin with some steamed cauliflower and peas.

      Oh yes, there were some benefits to the days of "meat and three veg".

      Delete
  2. I'm a 'white' person and not offended by groups that want to exclude me for the reason that there are so many of 'me' who are quite deliberately offensive and more often unconscsiously offensive in the assumption that they make about the supposed 'superiority' of white people. I understand that other people have a right to, and can benefit from, spaces where they are safe and free from having to cope with the bigotry that some of people think they have a right to express.

    ReplyDelete

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