Monday, March 06, 2017

In which feuding, fussing, fighting reptiles do their thing, thanks to a plucky Major Mitchell and a bold Bolter...


It was Ray Harryhausen who gave the pond the taste for the spectacle of feuding, fussing, fighting reptiles ...

Didn't matter how it came at the Saturday matinee provided the dinosaurs and lizards did their thing... though the big goannas in the bush where the pond once lived probably also had something to do with it ...


These days the pond's palate is more refined, more aware of subtle and nuanced flavours of lizard battle... Oz reptile style ...


Now before there are any pedantic or academic quibbles, let us remember that birds share a certain ancestry with reptiles of yore - at least to anyone outside the creationist school of the pastie Hastie ...


Even now, a certain family resemblance can be noted as we end up with the Major Mitchell, a reptile of some note, at least in his own lunch time ...


But enough of the preliminaries to the bout - the pond notes that frequently there's an hour long build-up to an epic fight, followed by a damp squib that lasts about thirty seconds - as the pond announces the tag team match-up of the Major Mitchell and Nattering "Ned" Kelly, against the Brazen Bolter and Terry McRant ...


Okay, okay, so some punters want their money back ...but really, surely the sight of the Major Mitchell crawling up nattering "Ned's" fundament was worth the price of admission?

And as always with the Major Mitchell, there's more ...


Bed-wetters?

Could the Major Mitchell be about to call the Bolter a bed wetter?


He did, he did. The Bolter's a bed wetter, the Bolter's a bed wetter (chant until tired or deep in ennui).

Oh not directly, but we all know that the talk of the Bolter wetting his Spectator bed, and other conservative bed wetters on the loose is sure to get the preening narcissist bed wetter into a tanty ...

The pond didn't have to look far into the Bolter's blog to see what set Major Mitchell off on his battle with the bulging Bolter ...


Well the Bolter being a lazy arse blogger who, like the pond, recycles any stray road kill he finds by the side of the road, routinely scours the pages of the lizard Oz for carrion.

What has he made this day of the Major Mitchell's desire to start a feud?

Sometimes the Bolter does a slow simmer before coming to an epic boil, but this time the Bolter was quick into the ring ...


Now the pond apologises to the narcissist bed wetting Bolter. 

The way the feud unfolded, the pond has offered up the Major Mitchell first ... when really, the notion that the Bolter backs principles not a side, is a stunning piece of stand-up comedy which should have been read first. It's enough to make some wet their beds with overflowing laughter, and nothing in the Major Mitchell could match it...

Well once the bed wetting Bolter is on a flow, the stream is nigh on irrepressible ...

 

For a moment there, it seemed as if the bed wetting Bolter was talking about "global warming" ais if it might be real ... as in "both parties have renewable energy targets that cost plenty but do nothing to stop global warming."

The pond realises this was a temporary lapse ...the Bolter meant to scribble "to stop global warming, if global warming was really happening,  nanah ... yah sucks boo ..."

The great thing about a reptile fight is that everyone can join in and have tremendous fun ...

Some went the biff with nattering "Ned" ...some went the biff with the Bolter ...some just went the biff with anything or anybody in the vicinity ...



That's the joy of a reptile fight ...

On and on they ranted, producing much heat, not so much light, which possibly explains why the globe is warming so fast ... and it was still going on when the pond dropped in a while ago ...


So this is where the pond has reached.

Reptiles feuding with reptiles, and hapless punters paying for the pleasure of watching the reptiles fight ...

Regrettably the pond has to pronounce the first round a draw.

Let there be more rounds, endless pummelling and expert displays of pugilism before a winner can be declared with any certainty...

There will be blood, there must be blood, before anyone can fairly judge which iron reptile's column cuisine reigns supreme ...

Meanwhile over in the corner, the Putin lovers are preparing a feast, anti-vaxxers roam the earth to bring on new plagues, and more feasting on delicious Rowe can be found here ...


Ah the Putin lover ... it's not just trans fat in that fsssing vat of deep fried Malware tempura ...


4 comments:

  1. Mitchell is the same old Mitchell, just feeling the attention deficit syndrome.

    He lists the "mandated" Coalition policies. He claims it was a mistake to roll Abbott, because he (Mitchell) had predicted that Abbott would have beaten Shorten - an astounding claim when Golden Boy Turnbull lost 14 seats and just scrambled over the line. Abbott would have been a train wreck.

    So, Major Mitchell,to echo Sarah Palin: "That trickle-down austerity program, 'ow's that workin' out forrr ya?"

    ReplyDelete
  2. "...Shorten leading the most left-wing government in the nation's history."

    Ho ho, Ben Chifley and Andrew Fisher would be dying of laughter if they weren't already deceased.

    But what is this amazing confession:

    "And of course, Abbott's large win in 2013 was largely a rejection of Labor's chaos rather than an endorsement of Abbott's conservatism."

    What a howler - owning up that Abbott didn't win because he's this wonderful Dr No, but simply because his Labor opponents had destroyed themselves. But I bet this is the last time that bleedin' bloody obvious truth is ever mentioned, especially by any of the right wingnuts. The myth of Abbott, Mighty Crusader must be maintained.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Q. What's the most reliable inhibitor of any meaningful process?
    A. Keeping a failed PM in your team.

    Q. Who would be batshit insane enough to have a vengeful, retired-but-back-again and-throughly-discredited-Order-Of-Lenin-hunting-editor as an op-ed writer for the same journal?
    A. The reptiles.

    Fair dinkum, there are times when after a few weeks overseas reading the FT, WaPo, NYT et al, you are passed a copy of the Weekend Australian on the plane, and your mind that had been stimulated for a little while suddenly grinds gears upon glancing the names Henderson, Kenny, and even a Shanahan or two. You feel that you really have returned to the fag-end of the civilised world.

    But then after a G & T and a bag o' nuts, you realise that it's just Holt St Dorothy, and it will all be gone soon enough....

    ReplyDelete
  4. Bolter backing a principle not a side. Remember when he backed the principle that just maybe Pell ought to come clean about when he know of sexual abuse within the catholic clergy? The the next morning he was again backing the side.

    ReplyDelete

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