Sunday, February 26, 2017

In which the pond splashes on its Sunday best vitriole essence of Devine heart of darkness ...


The pond was startled to see the lizards of Oz apparently cluck-clucking and tut-tutting about extremists in the west ...



But why are the reptiles surprised?

This is about as succinct a summary of reptile attitudes, policies and commentaries as might be managed in a short burst ... Islamics, climate denialism, a bit of black-bashing ...


Indeed, indeed.

Why you only have to stroll across to the Sunday Terror to see the source of Mr Grylls' attitudes ...


Yes, they love their TG stories at the Terror - it's all the fault of Safe Schools - and this morning the old team was back in tandem, with Peta demoted for a little while ...


Well the pond has already celebrated Akker Dakker, so it was time to catch up with Miranda the Devine, essence of bile ...


Whenever the pond wants a taste of pure essence of rabid bigotry, flavour Catholic fundamentalist, on a Sunday, the Devine is the go to person.

The way she's maintained the rage at Morrison is exemplary ...


Indeed, indeed, it's much better to return to the days when the army routinely enjoyed "necking the blacks" jokes and thought nothing more fun than to dress up in KKK gear ...

There's nothing like a little white Anglo-Saxon patriarchal male culture for fixing the world. It went down a treat in Iraq, and has performed wonders in Afghanistan, and as for thrashing the Vietnamese Communists and installing a Catholic government, say no more, except what a rip-snorting success that was ...

Of course the Devine, as a warrior queen up there with Boadicea or Joan of Arc, won't hear any of that nonsense Cleopatra muttered, as quoted by Shakespeare ...


Well we all know what happened then! You simply can't allow women on the battlefield. No Celts either. Just decent Anglo Saxon crusaders ...

Damn it, those Israelis are on to something!


Indeed, indeed. It goes without saying that there are far too many wogs, queers and other riff raff in the country, and the very notion that they should be involved in defending the country is a bridge too far. Just decent Anglo Saxon crusaders ...

Next thing they'll be wanting the Devine to serve. Bad move, we all know how Antony was fucked over by Cleopatra!


Oh fuck. "War-fighting DNA"? Nothing much has changed over the years ...



Devine for the home? What a loss to journalism ...


It's as if the past fifty years had never happened in the Devine's shuttered bewildered bigoted fundamentalist Catholic world ... but never mind, congratulations to the military, they've had the essence of Devine splashed on them ...



And now to a little bonus Devine,  featuring the onion muncher ...



Now the pond would like first to congratulate whoever chose the photos to accompany the story. Selecting photos to convey a mood is a subtle, nuanced task ...


And the pond couldn't help but notice a certain simian aspect to the photos selected ...


It seemed that the strident warrior queen was itching to bung on another do with the Bolter ...

The Bolter of course is a rabid onion muncher man ...


Note that the Bolter doesn't dispute that a bite from him would produce instant death by poisoning.

The only argument is about whom the Bolter is biting ...

Never mind, this day the Bolter and Peta are as one ...



Yay, Peta ...

The Bolter was naturally shocked and appalled by the Tingle ...


Well the pond was much taken by the Tingle, and so cue the Devine, who delivers a surprisingly similar tingle, with the prospect of combat and Bolter blood on the floor ...



It seems the question now becomes: who can go further to the right in their quest to celebrate or denounce the onion muncher?

The Bolter supports the onion muncher because he's rabid far right; the Devine denounces the onion muncher because he failed to be rabid far right enough ...

It's moments like these that the pond knows the feeling of Alice following the rabbit down the hole to swim in a pool of tears ...

Given the way the rabid right is in this sort of tizz, perhaps it's time to say "Death to the enemies of the Australian people!", "Death to News Corp!" ...


And the pond noticed that its Godwin's Law swear jar contributions were slowing, so ...




2 comments:

  1. Devine implies that the Army is failing to meet its recruitment targets because of the PC war on dinkum blokey Aussie (Anglo-Saxon) blokes.

    But Devine also mentions that the Broderick Review was 5 years ago. And then later says that Army hasn't hit its recruitment target for at least 10 years.

    So something that happened five years ago has been wrecking the Army for 10 years...I guess Elizabeth Broderick was commissioned to undertake her review because she is capable of time travel?

    ReplyDelete
  2. "This is about as succinct a summary of reptile attitudes, policies and commentaries as might be managed in a short burst ... Islamics, climate denialism, a bit of black-bashing ..."

    Pssst DP, you left out 18C and handshaking - the two great reptile crusades of the 21st C.

    Then there's our fabulous 'Pilbara Man': "...but [he] denied One Nation was a racist party, saying it treated all races equally.

    Yep, sure does: despises 'em all equally without fear or favour.

    ReplyDelete

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