Sunday, December 18, 2016

In which Bunter makes a play for the top position at the loon pond tuckshop ...




Before getting on with the hunt for the reptile whose cuisine will reign supreme on the pond as we prepare for a seasonal Xmas holy day break, the pond would just like to note the appalling behaviour of what used to be called the ABC news division ...

Yesterday, it being a slow news day, the cardigan wearers were all over a 'get tough with China' report which was routinely sold as being the work of an "independent" think tank.

The story's online at their ABC here, and presented as an "exclusive" by defence reporter Andrew Greene, as if shamelessly presenting a report in a shallow way, without much context or contending responses to what is just a set of opinions, represents some sort of "exclusive."

Being a thinly resourced font of hackery, News 24 repeated the story and the mantra - get tough with China - endlessly, though it finally dropped the nonsensical use of the word "independent" ...

Which is just as well, given the reality that the Center for Strategic and Budgetary Assessment gets a substantial amount of its funding from Defence Department agencies and defence corporations ... here ... and anyone who's watched War Dogs recently will know what that means ...



The author Ross Babbage, a well-know hawk, who includes in his CV time spent at the Menzies Research Centre, was given a free hand in drumming up hysteria and pounding the drums of war ...

Who funds the MRC? Well there are the usual suspects ...


The report was directed at the Trump administration, and lathered up the anti-Chinese, anti-Confucius rhetoric in a way that would have left Vlad 'the impaler' Putin with an even bigger grin on his face ...

It was deplorably shoddy and shallow and slipshod reporting of a kind designed to fill in a hole on a slow Saturday with something purportedly sensationalist. Shame, ABC alleged news service, shame ...

And now back to the hunt for the perfect way to end the pond's postings so that punters might keep returning for the read and new punters might be wildly excited at the prospects for 2017.

Naturally the pond turned to that old trooper, that first class warrior, Akker Dakker, the Billy Bunter of the Terrorist reptilian tuck shop. These days, poor old Bunter rarely makes it to the front page of the digital edition early in the morning.

It's that dreadful Peta woman and the Devine who make it to the top of the litter, and Bunter is the runt ...

But then later in the day, when the demographic of angry white men and doddering aunts have struggled out of bed, Akker Dakker still becomes a Terror colossus, and can still shove the Devine to one side ...


Now the Devine has made a strong run with her dimwitted piece celebrating a dimwit. 

After all, as everybody in Canberra knows, if one tries to be discreet, and discreetly talk of the latest dumb decision by a dim-witted minister - say with the mutton Dutton in mind (a remarkable light bulb that routinely runs on one watt), it's likely to result in grievous error and confusion.

Everybody will immediately assume that the talk is actually of Barners, dimwit supreme, Barners being so dim there's no sign that the light bulb is glowing ...

But the pond is loyal, and Akker Dakker rarely disappoints, and besides this day he's giving the croweaters a hard time, and he's also showing that dreadful Peta woman, trying to sing from the same song sheet, how an old hand, made steady by snorting, really sticks it to the pesky blacks ...



As always, Akker Dakker is spot on.

The many iwi to be found in New Zealand - Greg Hunt a list here - happily explains why the Treaty of Waitangi was never actually signed.

Upon discovering that they would have to deal with a variety of difficult, tricky, pesky Māori chiefs, the British gave the game away ...

As a result, in that wiki listing, you will find this forlorn alternative Akker Dakker approved history:

Today the failure to sign the Treaty is generally considered the turning point of New Zealand as a nation.  It was feared it would often be the subject of heated debate, and much disagreement by both Māori and non-Māori New Zealanders. Many Māori might have felt that the Crown did not fulfil its obligations under the Treaty, and may have presented evidence of this before sittings of the Waitangi Tribunal, if that had ever been formed. 
Some non-Māori New Zealanders might have suggested that Māori may be abusing the Treaty in order to claim special privileges. Happily the Crown is now not obliged to act on the recommendations of the non-existent Tribunal , which might have arisen from the unsigned treaty, and there is no need to accept that there have breaches of the non-existent Treaty and its never-enacted principles. 
Settlements for Treaty breaches, if the treaty had been signed, might to date have consisted of hundreds of millions of dollars of reparations in cash and assets, as well as apologies. 
The date of the signing would have been a national holiday, and been called Waitangi Day, at least since 1974 if it had been signed, but thankfully New Zealanders were spared the calamity.


Now back to Akker Dakker, and the mighty scholar produces a gazumping argument about treaties only being signed between states and foreign powers, and if Aborigines aren't damned furriners in this country, then the pond must be on the wrong alt right team ...


Oh the wretched indolent bludgers. Why can't they just churn out a column or three for a handsome stipend from the chairman?

And so to the concluding claim by Akker Dakker for his right to hold sway at the head of the pond over the break ...


Well what do you think, valiant, heroic wretches who made in this far at keen risk to losing all intelligence, while emerging from the read a certified Confederate-flag waving member of the racist black-bashing right?

Has the loopy loony Akker Dakker won the competition and earned the right to represent all loons over Xmas and the New Year?

Now the pond knows that there are still plenty of keen contenders.

How about this for a short snappy attempt, found here, amid talk of attempts to suspend Ross Cameron from the Liberal party - not for being a first class fool and an A-grade loon, but because he wants to turn the Liberal party into an alt right front ...


Say what? The chairman's pride and joy isn't media?

No one watches it? It has an audience smaller than Gold Coast Medical?

But, but, but, billy goat smarty pants anonymous defender of Mr Cameron, that's the home of the Bolter!

And surely the Bolter must be considered a prime contender for his many valiant efforts ... the man's always on fire ...


Sadly the pond must disqualify the Bolter. 

Oh sure, it's important to ask who let into this land the parents of this child bomber, delivering criminally insulting sprays of abuse on a daily basis ... verbally bombing anyone he doesn't like on sight ...

And frankly, this is a lesson for multiculturalists, because when you import some people, you import not just them but their culture, and sometimes the very worst people along with the very worst aspects of the culture ...


But it would be unfair to allow the Bolter to play the game.

This is a man who is in the pantheon, who lives in a Valhalla of fear and loathing, who hunts in the happy hunting grounds of bigotry and hate, who nestles in Abraham's Judeo-Christian bosom and rolls on the lush grass of Elysian fields egregious contempt, a man on whom the sweet light of the Hesperides nymphs does glow ...

How could the pond try to trade off on this noble rhetorician, scribbling furiously in favour of the Donald, and so win the prize of obvious for itself?

Besides, there is much more at stake ... there's a new world order coming and much moola to be made. Start counting now ...





3 comments:

  1. South Australia has its own sovereign...

    Akker's rehashed recipe here is that human rights, history, Australian States, Australian First Peoples, Asian peoples, and Muslim peoples can all be mashed and blended into a dark soup of the day. On the side he serves anything that's white and right not withstanding that due to Akker's economical dumpster diving its old and stale.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. PS. For his souperb efforts perhaps Akker deserves to win the empty holyday cup. Is it bottomless?

      PPS Dorothy, this year the blogging top prize goes to you. Have a good detox break.

      Delete
  2. "A defender of Mr Cameron argued he should not be suspended on the grounds that nobody had seen the offending footage because it was on Sky News."

    I'm confused.. having trouble keeping up, and the latest Guthrie-speak is no help.

    Doesn't their ABC rebroadcast Sky now?

    ReplyDelete

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