Saturday, November 05, 2016

In which the pond starts with the bromancer's 'crisis for our civilisation' and ends up with a free taco at Taco Bell ...


Well there's an easy troll to ignore.

The very last thing anybody needs to do is read, or even worse, pay for the pleasure of reading a parochial dog botherer having yet another tedious go at the ABC...

But that bromancer "crisis for our civilisation" is such a splendid hook. Who could possibly have helped produce such a bromancer headline?

It reminded the pond of the latest conspiracy theory it's heard that's doing the rounds.

The GOP gets the Donald into power, then arranges for his assassination - apparently Ted Cruze's dad is still available for the job - and then they blame the killing on left liberal elites and so a hard right fundamentalist Christian crazy gets the top job but he presents well, as he ruins the United States - and ends any notion that it's still a home for liberals and democracy - and Ted Cruze is drafted in as the new VP and all's well ...

A fundamentalist Christian theocracy is born and the great crusade about the Islamics begins as a prelude to the rapture ...

Faced with those high hopes, we'd be mad not to unify ....


Oh right ... it's madness day at reptile central ...

        


Poor Mark Day ... never the first clue ... and him such a faithful and loyal lickspittle to the formerly twittering chairman ...

But actually it's panic in bromancer country day, and the bizarre and bitter presidential campaign has left the bromancer bewildered and confused ...


Yes, the bromancer's sublime response to the global crisis in western civilisation is to endorse Trump's analysis of the US situation, though with the rider that some of his remedies might be a tad suspect.

Even as the four horsepersons of the apocalypse gather for the final ride, the bromancer feels the need to pander to the "legitimate grievance" industry, as opposed to spending the time telling the whiners and the moaners to harden the fuck up, in the way that liberals are supposed to harden up ...

The pond lives and breathes for irony, and whenever the bromancer hits the keyboard, the pond goes into irony overload ...


Back before he fell into twitter silence, the chairman was calling the troops home ...

And so to the bromancer sharing the grievances ...


Oh sheesh, more blather from a comfortably well off journalist, published from a bunker in inner city Surry Hills, working for the man and mentioning "elites" in every second line.

It's about this time that the pond goes into irony overload ... and yet there's way more to come ...


So it's back with the 'cooling it' bromancer ... who needs to close ranks and learn to fight the real enemy. Perhaps that is best done by drawing false equivalences ... and more railing against the 'leets ...



Actually the question that's never asked by the reptiles is this: is it better to get your information and cultural values from Fox News, or is it better to have none at all?

As for Vegas, the pond has been there a number of times, even got hitched in the joint, but for fuck's sake, how stupid can the bromancer manage to sound?

Even your average dumb fuck recognises that there's Vegas, there's Hollywood, and if you get a hangover in Vegas, it stays there with the boxer and the tiger, and people can chew all kinds of cultural gum and still walk away with a shred of intelligence and a deep pleasure in what New York has to offer ...

Yes, there's a larger sense in which the bromancer's column represents civilisational failure. It's the complete incapacity to recognise pluralities and the pleasures in difference.

It's riddled with false equivalences, and it honours the culture of grievances, in its own way, with its blather about elites and the failures of allies (if only Australia had failed George W.), as if the rhetoric of Republicans, amplified by Chairman Rupert - for whom the bromancer is a lickspittle lackey - didn't have something to do with the flames ...

I mean, fuck, somehow if you're a liberal, you can't enjoy a night in Vegas watching rampant atheist libertarian Trump show loon Penn doing magic tricks with Teller?

As usual, the pond has to turn to a refreshing cartoon for a proper insight ...


That's better and more papal wisdom here - no doubt it was wise and proper for Pope not to scribble Sean Hannity's name on that petrol bomb - and now it's back to the bromancer for a final gobbet ...


Somehow it's all the fault of liberals?

As opposed to the likes of Paul Ryan and reptile in chief and Ted "his dad killed JFK" Cruze lining up behind the Donald?

Well if you're like the bromancer - so befuddled by Catholicism that his best bro is an onion muncher - if you start from there, you'll never get to here from there ...

Somewhere in that litany of grievances it's possible to get the sense that the bromancer might favour Clinton winning, but the pond came away with "Trump has a point" and "Trump has ... policy themes that have won enormous support" ... and each "embodies a legitimate US grievance" ... and better still, Trump doesn't bother offering judicial impartiality ...

The bromancer is so locked down in the fog of bigotry and prejudice and LGBTQI jokes that he doesn't have the first clue about how he and his US kissing cousin reptiles have facilitated and enabled the rise of a perpetual bankrupt to the status of POTUS candidate ...A Trump Tower Goes Bust in Canada ...

Never mind, the chairman and his former buddy Roger, and the FBI-informed Giuliani and before his bridge troubles laid him low, the burger-carrying Christie have wrought their magic ...

And now all the bromancer can scribble is that Trump has a point? And if he loses, we might all need a musket? Which isn't a gun ...

What a prime, irony-laden futtock and lover of onion munchers he is.

Still, there's always an upside, as the bromancer himself notes, and it's great for anyone with liberal inclinations. There's been a boom in comedy styling exports to the world ... and it can only get better if it gets entirely worse ...




The Chairman and his faithful Fox minions have helped lay America low ... and now we all get to live with the mess ...


4 comments:

  1. Another limp piece from GS.
    He merely describes because he cannot explain why his certainties suddenly jar with reality.
    He is not the only one who appears to be bewildered why the English voted to leave the EU, why Trump appeals to so many, why Australian politicians are so uninspiring, to put it politely.
    Might Sheridan and Kenny et al not consider that the people are fed up with the policies they hold dear. Is it unreasonable that men and women want a decently paid job with a discernible career path so they can raise the next generation? They don't want to be nimble and agile. They want to be secure.
    The mayor of a town in the American rust belt put his finger on it this week when he explained why he would be voting for Trump.
    He said people in their 80s were being locked up for selling their prescription medicine. They opted to break the law and endanger their health because they had no money to buy food.
    Many 'commentators' are not only boring to read but their smug 'I'm alright Jack' certainty is nauseating.
    In my opinion Clinton too is preaching to the converted, promising more of the same.
    I wonder what will happen in the US after the election regardless of who wins?
    The place I has always been a pressure cooker. Now it is hissing steam.
    Miss pp

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  2. While largely concurring with Miss pp above, there's just a few small matters to raise.

    Firstly, walls and immigrants:

    I think I may have said this before, DP, but Trump's idea of a wall is just a joke. Those of us with memories that stretch back to 1964 remember Mad Magazine's take on walls which went like this:

    "Back in the 1960's Mad Magazine ran an occasional "The contents of his wallet/her purse" thing. One time, probably in the summer of 1964, they did the contents of Barry Goldwater's wallet. It included a estimate for building a fence around the entire country, along with a Senatorial discount."

    Now that's a wall, not Trump's penny ante idea of a porous fence along just one border.

    Hmm. But then, as the Bromancer says in respect of Canada's tolerance for immigrants, "Canada can be liberal on immigration because its only land border is with a much richer neighbour and therefore it has no illegal immigration problem."

    Well there was at least 30,000 American conscription refugees back in Vietnam War days who "immigrated" into Canada quasi-legally who would endorse Canadian liberalism. 30,000 isn't 11 million of course, but it was a start.

    Then we also have the Bromancer opining thuswise:

    "Clinton will be able to deliver the Bernie Sanders Left many symbolic victories through social revolution wrought by the courts ..."

    So far, I confess, I've only been a very lukewarm Hillary Hoper, but then I encountered this:
    http://www.vox.com/policy-and-politics/2016/11/3/13318750/hillary-clinton-vision-government
    which is titled "Hillary Clinton's Quiet Revolution" and it made me start to think. She won't be able to actually do any of it, of course, because the entire GOP has sworn to completely paralyze a HRC administration, but I guess something might come of it all.

    And then DP, you say: "Somehow it's all the fault of liberals?"

    Got it it one !

    ReplyDelete
  3. I have just heard Sheridan on the radio. He abhors Trump but in true fashion associates his appeal with hard line positions on immigration and free trade. Economic reasons have been oversold, he opined. Hmmm. Economic reasons? Would that be unemployment or the multitudes who do not earn enough and are known collectively as the 'working poor'. Give me a break! For decades now Sheridan and other conservative mouthpieces have been telling us that IT IS ALL ABOUT THE ECONOMY. Just not now it seems.

    At least GS was better than Rowan Dean who put forward the frivolous view that he supported Trump because he was 'politically incorrect' and linked him favourably with Abbott and Hanson.

    We have some great minds in this land.

    Miss pp

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  4. I always look forward to your pieces and had some catching up to do when I was offline for about four days. But it was still essential reading, even if your primary reason is to cover the Reptile Loons.

    Today's piece was essential reading not because it was funnier than so many of your pieces. The Bromancer can always provide a bit of entertainment, not least because he is prepared to defend the indefensible and even put up a case that the dumbest, most insensitive things really make a bit of sense to him.

    Just like his idols in the coalition, in the Republicans and throughout the News Ltd empire, he does not do or get irony.

    Because he has sort of got one thing right, even if he's picked up the wrong symptoms from it. Our democratic systems are breaking down. It is not so much in the voting as such. It is in the failure of MPs to stand up for the people they represent in parliament; even to present to those voters a platform of things they stand for.

    Here he fails to acknowledge what you have pointed out. Chairman Rupert and his cohort Roger Ailes have run sustained campaigns over several decades of Fear and Loathing mixed in with smearing of any who dared to differ. It would help explain why ruling groups in English-speaking countries still govern to a banking-brokering agenda irrespective of who is elected. We're still applying Reagonomics and Thatcherism programs even though they've been discredited for 25 years.

    I can only speak for the English-speaking countries and not the EU or Asia. It's clear enough as you mention that the mood set is determined by Chairman Rupert.

    Where recovery lies I could only guess. But probably can only start with his departure from the mortal coil. I have fears, however, that like Monty Burns, he has plans to live forever.

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