Monday, November 28, 2016

In which the pond, following Henry's sage advice, overdoses on Oreos and pays the Malware price ...


It seems, if the reptile leads are any guide, that Malware is in a terrible pickle ...


Head over to Fairfax and it gets worse ...


Now the pond has spoken sharply to the Fairfaxians about using polls as clickbait - after the Donald and Brexit, why do they bother?

The pond might as well indulge in clickbait about Princess Beatrice for all the good it does or the insights it provides ...

But in these uncertain times, the reptiles still manage to deliver good Monday news, as the Oreo returns to her natural home and spruiks the way forward ... though there's that sort of ironic reptile juxtaposition in the splashes that the pond has come to love ...


Yes, Hudson and Crowe see saucy doubts and fears, and sly Henry - "I'm thin, so why should I worry?" - does his best for sugar, just as the reptiles have done for tobacco  ... and the pond might begin to worry, but lo there, at the top, just to seal the deal for sugar, is the sweetest sight of all, the Oreo in full bliss Malware adulation ...

Her man of steel is hardening the fuck up, and might yet achieve Mutton Dutton status ...


Surely, as Oreo celebrates Malware going full mutton Dutton and the full Trump, the pond should heed Henry's wise words, and knock off a whole pack of Oreos. 

Good eating anywhere, but especially where climate science is shown to be a conspiracy by the Chinese government ...


And now back to the triumphalist Oreo, and never mind that cautionary snake ...


Oh yes, that pride square was always a tricky one, and so to the prideful Oreo ...


Uh huh, though perhaps the notoriously floridly potty-mouthed Noel Pearson should ratchet the fire back a little ...

It doesn't seem to occur to the Oreo that the coalition is currently in government. Apparently that doesn't amount to a hill of beans in this crazy, mixed up world, and certainly not a force to be reckoned with.

It mind explain why some of the other reptiles, lacking the Oreo's splendid rose-coloured glasses - such a deep, rich red - see a fragile, divided, failing, flailing government ...

It also makes the pond marvel at the way the Oreo has wasted oodles of words celebrating the  many alleged achievements, only to snatch it all away with the bizarre suggestion that it might yet "become a force to be reckoned with ..."

By heading off down the barking mad path of populism of the Trumpist kind?

That'll keep it on an upward trajectory and soon enough we'll be blessed by Malware in full Donald mode?

But anybody who wants that can just go diving on the reef with Pauline, making stupidly sure they select the part of the reef that still shows signs of life.


Anybody who wants stupidity and muscular conservatism has plenty of options ... that's why the pond snacks on Oreos, and thanks to Henry is probably likely to die of obesity from overdosing on them ...

Perhaps the pond should conclude with a warning - remember, consume Oreos in moderation, and preferably not at all, and if sharing a sugar hit with Henry, don't expect him to pay for your teeth or your gastric band ...

And so to a couple of cartoons, with more Fairfaxian cartoonists to be found here ...






5 comments:

  1. Putting to one side the heavy military language deployed (pun) in that article, does the Oreo appreciate that her final two paragraphs appear to indicate that she wants right wing politicians to "fight fire with fire" by employing double standards, diversion, appeals to emotion, false categorisation, drawing conclusions from false premises and appeals to pride and prejudice?

    While I can imagine that the Oreo doesn't read her work because she runs out of breath, surely a reasonable editor would pick this up!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What, Anony, do you expect Rupert's brown tongued editors to multitask when there might be a call from HIM to pick up at any time? You think Rupe's trained one-eyed and macula challenged readers can see what sticks out like dogs balls in front of their faces? A Rupe editor sweats on the call, surely it's enuf, and a Rupe reader is a believer after all, content that Oreos are filled with the right kinda stuff.

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  2. Replies
    1. Then you kids may care to try some dinkum Arnotts Creamy Chocolate Biscuits from Shop Australia who are "Delivering Australian (sic) Products to the World" - 250g @ US$4.33

      If they're too rich for your taste, if the pocket money won't go that far, try some Arnotts Chocolate Creams from "our" Woolies - 250g @ $2.00

      Mind how you go on the sodium content kiddies, but no worries about your maculas degenerating as there's no trans kiddies, nope, none could be seen. Which reminded of unhealthy unsafe things today in Aspley (Brisbane) just over the hill from the Virginia Campbells Soup/Arnotts factory.

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    2. http://www.safeschoolscoalition.org.au/search?s=bullying

      Delete

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