Saturday, August 27, 2016

In which surely Saturday wins as best reptile watching day with a double bunger of prattling Polonius and the dog botherer ...


Pigs might fly Mr Rowe? And more flying pigs here?

Well, speaking of flying, last night, for absurd reasons not even the pond thought sensible, the pond turned up at Sydney airport and took a full hour to do the internal domestic circuit ... which a pedestrian with a full load of luggage could have walked in ten minutes ...

No doubt, when the new motor way dumps even more cars at the entrance, thanks be unto town planner Mike Baird, a lap of the circuit will take even longer ...

Meanwhile, the nonentity known as Luke Foley, master town planner, campaigns ferociously ... on the right to go on killing greyhounds in abundance ...

Is it any wonder the pond occasionally thinks it fell down the rabbit hole with Alice? What would it be like to enjoy a chauffeur-driven car while doing the circuit like a federal politician? Please, driver, just shake the martini and the pond will sip it in a stirring way ...

Well it was an enjoyable distraction, and the pond needed it as rigorous training, because of course Saturday is the very best day of the week for reptile watching.

Oh how they frolic and play ... look, there's a particularly stupid one rolling about, looking terribly cute ...


Here's the thing Joe. A million monkeys typing a million blogs and tweeting a million tweets and posting a gazillion Facebook pages couldn't end up sounding as fuckwitted as a Joe Hildebrand column, or as dimwitted as a debate conducted in the pages of the Daily Terror ...

Of course the pond was saying that only to insult and offend, because one debate that should have expired long ago is the matter of 18C, but in the way of first world problems, the reptiles keep banging on about it ...

The pond just loved these lines by Katharine Murphy contemplating 18C, Tony Abbott and his recent "here to help" speech, and the Bolter swooning in an adoring rapture ... spoiler alert, it's her punchline ...

The member for Warringah evidently thought a key responsibility of a northern Sydney backbencher was courting a national business constituency with a wide-ranging speech delivered just before the opening of a new parliament. 
There was something “different” about Tony, Bolt thought, helpfully ... actually, hopefully. 
I’ve said it before, but it remains true. Malcolm Turnbull used to tell us there is never a more exciting time to be alive. 
How right he was.

The rest of the piece is at the Graudian here ...

And how does the pond know this first world problem isn't going away any time soon?

Well prattling Polonius himself has this day given it his imprimatur ...


Sheesh, First Dog, that's not the joke.

This is how it goes, a prattling Polonius, a dog botherer and an 18C walked into a bar, and the bartender offers the pond a glass of skim lactose and permeate free milk ... and the pond was pleased to gulp it down and pronounce it as being almost as refreshing and as funny as a Polonius column ...


There you go, First Dog, as soon as prattling Polonius draws himself up (Jeeves, please draw the blinds, here's a HB pencil) and assures us that curbs are not funny, the pond is duty bound to think that kerbs are hilarious ...


Look at the funny kerbs on Easy Street - yes, the pond has been catching up on early Chaplin - but fuck it, fuck it, enough of the dilly dallying, let's grit the teeth and let's just do it ...


You can imagine the pond's distress at Polonius discovering that the locusts had swarmed to Ultimo ...



Few would recall Marcuse ... yet Marcuse has a deep pervasive influence on everybody.

That's too deep for the pond ... it's a level of idle paranoia that reminded the pond of someone else ...

Well? You meant well? People always mean well, they cluck their thick tongues and shake their heads and suggest so very delicately that...

And so to Polonius getting outraged by comedy and laughter and comedians ... because, well, because deep down it's just another form of abuse ...

Yes, in the bizarro world of 18C, mocking, insulting, cracking cheap jokes and offending is outrageous, which is why we need to dilute 18C so there can be more mockery, insulting and offending ... and cheap jokes.

Now let's shed tears of outrage at the unfairness of it all, because poor old Brendan was mocked and ridiculed and ...


Once upon a time it was a comedian's job to make people laugh ... and there in one you can bet that prattling Polonius's favourite comedian was the asinine apolitical Bob Hope ...

Lenny Bruce? Forget it daddy-o ,,,

By golly, prattling Polonius gets weirder by the week, and now he's even had to acknowledge a mistake, but if he really had to put up all his mistakes, he wouldn't have to write a column ...


Please, no groaning, sighing, sobbing, or weeping.

You there, put away that sackcloth and ashes.

The pond played fair ... the joke ran that the dog botherer also walked into the bar with the prattling Polonius and 18C and carried on like a pork chop ...


What the fuck? Is this all the reptiles have got to write about?

It seems it is ...


Yes indeed, it's bad news when a Frank discussion of Frank is shut down, though in the pond's experience of the world, Franks tend to be blowhards (except frankly any Frank reader of the pond, the pond loves ya Frank, it really does).

And surely climate science is a matter of opinion, but how quaint to discover that the dog botherer could sound exactly like jolly Joe bleating about the information age ... what is it they put in the water at News Corp?

And so, yet again, we cop this sort of gibberish about the leets and the media class and the silent majority and all the rest of the tedious cliched crap. The pond always thought that the dog botherer was short a duck when it came to a Thai duck salad, but does he need to make it so obvious?

What is it about all these people that want to get rid of 18C that they constantly get upset about being derided and mocked? What the fuck?


Oh fuck, now the dog botherer has really jumped the shark and nuked the fridge, getting into bed with Malcolm Roberts ...

And again with the angst about a bit of mockery and laughter. 

What is it with this 18C crowd? Can they be so far up themselves because they think they're searching for the land where the sun shines?


Okay, the pond apologises for all the images, but we just needed to break it up a little so we could just get through the muck heap of nonsense for which the reptiles charge a weekend premium.

Truly, could anyone doubt after this double bunger edition that Saturday is by far the finest day for reptile watching?

Well there's only a teeny weeny, itsy bitsy bit more to do to get through to finish the session ...


Yes, there it is again. 

A cogent plea about 18C coupled with bizarre despair about polarised positions from a dog botherer doing a shout out to Malcolm Roberts, a tin foil hat wearer of the first water ...

And in democracies the majority tends to be right. And in News Corp the columnists tend to scribble stupid sayings ...

And people dare to wonder why the pond thinks it's down the rabbit hole with Alice!

What to do? What to do?

Oh okay, time to get back into the car and go for another soothing Sydney drive, and more David here ...




8 comments:

  1. Callum Borchers in Fairfax today makes a comment with regard to Trump that rang echoes as I read the nonsense you have served up today Dot. He says:

    "When Trump didn't want to engage on the merits anymore, his immediate tactic was to try to put Cooper on the defensive with an unrelated accusation."

    And there you go. Just write a column about 18C, Andrew Bolt, the lovemedia, whatever your choice. Then write it again. And again. And again. The more often you repeat your own talking points, the less chance of valuable conversation actually occurring is. What's that? Sales? Ratings? No, no, don't worry about that. This is The Australian. Below 100,000 readers? No, no, you're missing the point.

    Great news too about Andrew's book passing the 2,000 mark too. One suspects he may well end of having the last laugh!

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  2. The bizarre resurrection of the 18c issue by the reptiles is less about freedom of speech as it is about a flanking attack on the usurper of conservative politics, Turnbull. Not one of them could possibly think enough Australians watch Ssssssky or read The Reptilian to shift the the nation's feet of clay when it comes to repeaing 18c. No, they are using this issue to kick further chunks out of what little political capital Malcolm still has and when the plebiscite enabling legislation gets voted down, the rickety stool keeping him up will be kicked out from under him and he will swing gently in the wind as the reptiles hiss in chorus, 'job well done'.

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  3. But the furniture was real (thanks Spike)

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  4. Speaking of free speech I read something yesterday re how some/many news and cultural sites have been more or less forced to eliminate their comments sections because of the now rising prevalence of toxic trolls and their wall-to-wall negativity and/or hate "speech" - mostly of course by right wingers.
    This also confirms my personal observations re the sheer uninformed awfulness and hateful negativity of many obviously right wing websites and the right wing trolls who now infest and even dominate social media.

    Never mind too that such ever more prevalent hate "speech" does negatively infect the general tone of our culture altogether, like rabid dogs.
    And we wonder why everything is going down the tubes!

    And who was one of the consummate masters and catalysts for all of this Roger Ailes of course. The Republican (Repugnant) Noise Machine.
    The squawking Mitchell was our land of Oz equivalent.

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  5. Chris Kenny complains that 'frank discussion' is/has been shut down.

    Really?

    When I hear reference (constantly) to 'free speech' and now 'frank discussion' my mind turns to Alf Garnett in full roar and street corner end-of-the-world evangelists. Remember how Mrs G used to roll her eyes and scurry out of earshot? And upon encountering an end-is-nigh personage most sensible folk hasten away and are mindful not to make eye contact.

    It so it seems the free speech folk do not have enough people to argue with. All that noise while most of us are singing lah-lah-lah with our fingers in our ears.

    Miss pp

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    Replies
    1. Oh, Miss pp (welcome back, by the way), the Dogbotherer has nothing on The Polonial Prattler. Kenny just wants to use his frre speech to malign anyone who uses their free speech to malign him. No hpocracy there, just good old fashioned take and take.

      Ah, but the Prattler ... now consider this pair of single sentence paragraphs from him:

      "In Western democracies before World War II, it was the extreme Rright that led on intolerance, most notably Oswald Mosley's British Union of Fascists in London.

      However, the 1960s and 70s saw the extreme Left step forward as the principal - opponent of Freedom of expression in Western Society." [the '-' was his]

      Oh, just beautiful by the Prattler. Consider:

      1. How deftly he changes the subject from the doings of the "extreme Right" to the evil "extreme Left" without even a backward glance. And how he deftly omits some lovely little pro-Nazi organisations in the USA including Charles Lindbergh's America First Committee and also the German American Federation etc. So we can just assume it was all down to Mosley... nothing more to see here, just one long dead "extremist"..

      2. It all the fault of those EVIL LEFT types yet again. Oh, why do we put up with them ? Just think: Menzies when he outlawed the Aussie Communist party: a rabid LEFTY. Senator McCarthy when he prosecuted UnAmerican Activities: a rabid LEFTY. Mary Whitehouse when she initiated proceedings against David Lemon for blasphemy (he was convicted) in 1977: a rabid LEFTY. Arthur Rylah of Victoria when he zealously took on the role of public censor, banning everything from James Joyce's Ulysses to Rudyard Kipling's Barrack-Room Ballads: a truly rabid LEFTY. (Oh, and while I'm busy expiating past sins, it was apparently Mary McCarthy's novel The Group that Rylah would not allow his non-existent teenage daughter to read.) But don't ever mention Victoria's abortion laws: more rabid LEFTIES at work preventing women from owning their own bodies.

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  6. Thanks for that rider, Dorothy, but sadly, I probably also fit the pattern of your experience.

    Nominative determinism is a bitch for a boy named Frank. :-(

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