Monday, August 15, 2016

In which the pond meets a screeching major Mitchell Order of Lenin hunter still brooding about the cartoon furore ...


These end times days the pond wakes each Monday with trepidation, anticipation and then pure delight.

And yet consider this. The pond's partner, off to the airport this morning, will walk past a free copy of the reptile rag, laid out for delectation and pure pleasure ... that's right, will just walk on by ... not even humming a Burt Bacharach tune!

You can give the reptiles away for free and still some completely perverse souls won't buy. It probably explains why the reptiles' business plan is stuffed and the pond is lucky if it attracts a crowd of one.

And yet each Monday the pond fancies it hears the word "dulcet." As in the dulcet Mitchell, the dulcet reptiles ...

Just look at the many splendid offerings. Over at the cousin Terror, there's the usual captivating reads (yes, you can walk on by this one at the airport too):



Oh no, not leftists at the footy. Remind the pond to check under the bed tonight, there's probably a few lurking there ...

Well, even the pond acknowledges that spending a parsec of time with little Timmie Bleagh, the lesser dolt, can be a danger to mental health, and as for the Bolter, every time he carries on ranting the pond is reminded of that old Nicholson cartoon ...


And the Terrorists had a great story going ...


Oh dear, who's an angry silly male then ...

Oh wait, that's sexism, we should remember gender identity is fluid. Oh wait, that's a reptile thought crime ...

Could we just settle for possibly hostile multi-hued gender fluid politician is barking mad, though with the understanding that no slight is intended against bark - very important to dogs and trees - and the clinically insane ...

And over at the reptiles the news splashes were just as compelling. Speaking of thought crimes ...


Shocking. What an EXCLUSIVE. Why that's an astonishing, wicked thought crime ... backing an actual political party? Why that's far worse than spruiking for the National Socialists or Pauline Hanson ...

And then there was this ...


Oh dear, as many have suggested to the pond many times, and the pond has googled many, many  times to find walri deep in the south to prove them wrong, he really is a bear with very little brain ...


But now it's time for the main course, the healthy vegetables some refuse to eat, even though, if they called any vegetable by name, there's a good chance the vegetable would respond to them ...

Naturally the pond was tortured by choice. Who should go first? The reptiles had put the famous Oreo biscuit at the top of the page ...


Because the Oreo is bubbling with exceptional talent ...

But the major Mitchell, the famous Order of Lenin hunter, had screeched, "pick me, pick me" ...


And true to its love of donkey, and its hatred of naive whingers the pond picked him, and though it's a long read, it provided some very rich pickings ...


Yes, there's a man so far up himself he makes the Sun King himself seem modest and self-aware, and it was that final flourish of "lickspittles" that established the capacity for anger and bile that the pond treasures in its squawking major Mitchell.

"Lickspittle" is the pond's favourite post-ironic word, though it generally prefers it in the context of a redolent sentence ... you know, like ...

Running lap-dog lackey of capitalist imperialism, a bourgeois traitor to the proletariat, a lickspittle idler and a kulak parasite, a Bonapartist pig, a Trotskyite fascist hyena, a revanchist, a stoner, a lazybones, and a class traitor ... (file of old denunciations, though the pond couldn't resist adding the honorific "lap dog").

Never mind, on we go ...



Yes, there was a nugget in there too ... "outrageous publicly funded orgy of moral posturing." 

Throw in a "moral vanity" and you're well into the valley of the posturing paranoid humbug ... a man who clearly things Order of Lenin hunting should be the sport of the nation ...

It's easy to understand the major Mitchell's view of the world, if you imagine Fairfax, the ABC and pretty well anyone else to the left of Genghis Khan as a pack of cards ...


But what's this?


Yes, that story's over at the mortal Fairfaxian enemy here, and there was a punchline at the end of it ...

Father Bower said the incident at his church "highlights the need for 18c". "If you lose 18c then this kind of vilification and abusive behaviour will go even more unchecked," he said.

But that's what all this injured pride and hurt reptile indignation is about. The Bolter, the major Mitchell Order of Lenin hunter, the outraged Oreo, they're all swirling in the sky, ready to land on 18c ...

Ah well, it's time to wrap up the Lenin hunter's squawk this day ... lordy, lordy, dear long absent lordy how he does go on, but wait, there's a great punchline at the end...


Je suis Bill? Je suis Bill?!

Non, l'├ętang est certainement pas le project de loi ...

And how did the Islamics get into the discussion?

Oh right, the pond gets it. In the world of contested ideas, racist cartoons are fine. Get used to it, and you too can fantasise about being slaughtered by Islamic fundamentalists ...

Weird stuff, even for the Order of Lenin hunter, but the pond is now desperate to recognise and truly honour his feeling of his oats.

A new voice has sprung on to the national stage ... self-congratulatory, given to navel gazing and fluff gathering, spruiking itself and fellow reptiles and News Corpse in the way of a snake oil salesman and offering truly grandiose and delusional comparisons ...

It's such rich turf for a Freudian. The barely suppressed anger, the sense of being under-appreciated, the sense of having been misunderstood, common enough in teenage boys, but marvellous to spot in an alleged adult, as variations on "some of my best friends are/were/have been Aboriginal" are offered, along with variations such as "I grew up with Aborigines and don't have a racist bone in my body" and "I was trying to make people think rather than laugh" ...

Which is why I did this defiant cartoon about thinking rather than laughing...


(here).

He thinks it's funny? But you shouldn't laugh? You should think? Because he meant funny as in funny peculiar weird, rather than funny as in laugh ...

Or some such funny nonsense.

Please, honours and felicitations and another medal for the Order of Lenin hunter ... and let's hope he's honoured again this week by the Graudian too ...



12 comments:

  1. Boy, the new Chief Cockey sure is setting the bar pretty high for all the other skinks and skanks at the Oz.Is it permissible to wear medals on the back of your jacket? So many medal winning achievements in such a short period of time.

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  2. Unlike the Cocky Mitch and the other reptiles, I really do try not to nag continuously, but may I take this opportunity to say, once again, that they've managed to completely change the subject - largely via Leak's cartoon - to how aboriginal men in the outback (but not those in civilized urbia) treat aboriginal women and children.

    But not one mention, not even a tiny little hint, that the subject once was the probably illegal and certainly inhumane treatment of young, mostly aboriginal, detainees by white jailors. May I say it again: the subject has been completely changed from how white jailors treat young detainees to how aboriginal men treat aboriginal women and children.

    And of course, that is a matter of great concern, no doubt about it. But it will take a lot of time, effort, learning and change to fix that problem - maybe even nearly as much time, effort, learning and change as to fix the problem of how white men treat white women and children - or have I misunderstood the one female death per week in white, urban society statistic ?

    It's like the Bolter who managed to successfully change the subject from how he's told a bunch of untruths and lies about some "self-identified aboriginals" to how he was being victimized by 18C - and we even had a truly great, and funny, carton to illustrate that. And they get away with it, time and time again.

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    Replies
    1. Like Brendon O'Neill a couple of days ago, you only hear how the News Corp commentatriat are being limited from offending by the Left and minorities. This censuring of free speech is a clear path to ruination.

      Whilst not from Tamworth, I also grew up in the country and imagine it would be similar. I would love to see the likes or an O'Neill, Bolt or a Chris Mitchell find out the repercussions of offending some of the lifelong conservative voters who sit in the front bars of any of Tamworth's numerous pubs.

      O'Neill suggests that all human progress has been achieved via offence. I'm confident the only human progress he'd make if offending the front bar guys would be to the Tamworth emergency unit to have his teeth put back in his mouth.

      They're not interested in free speech (terror laws / Nauru doctors gagging) or against offence (SBS journalist they campaigned to have sacked for his Anzac tweets). As you mention, they're just trying to legitimise their own narrative and bullying.

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    2. Do the really get away with it? Their dwindling readership would suggest that they aren't. Writing just for a lucky select few of permanently indignant weirdos - Kevin Andrews types, the world moves on. They wear their permanent outrage like a smelly old comfy cardigan, permanently missing the point, refusing to analyse beyond the kneejerk. Once Rupe shuffles off and we're all done dancing on his grave, they are finished.

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    3. You may be right, MT, and I most certainly hope you are, but the reptiles are still, though somewhat moribund, the major presence in MSM - Fairfax is just as much in decline, and not all that much different anyway.

      But given that, where do, and will, "people" (ie the rank and file citizens) get their news and views from ? Fox ? Alan Jones ? The web ? Or are we entering an era of uninformation ?

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  3. http://indigenousrights.net.au/civil_rights/the_warburton_ranges_controversy,_1957/overview_of_the_warburton_ranges_controversy

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    1. Ah, now Rupie would have been all of 26 back in 1957. It's good to see that he was already enthusiastically treading in Daddy's footsteps even then.

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  4. It's funny because it's true.

    That's why it's not racist.

    No, wait... I don't think any of the reptiles have actually come forward and declared that the cartoon WASN'T racist.

    Which means it's totally OK to be racist so long as it's offensive!

    Well, fuck the Virgin and call me God - thank Christ for that!

    Does this mean News Corp will be retracting their various columns on Tim Minchin's song about Pell?

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  5. Not fair,Jamaica gets Usain,we get Andrew

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  6. Not fair,Jamaica gets Usain,we get Andrew

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  7. Alas, poor Order of Lenin Hunter whittering on, and on, and on, and on.....for no point at all.

    Every single word he spurts fails to address the core issue: Leak's cartoon was offensive, and unfunny in the extreme. But this has been the way for the once great Leak for a very long time. Sadly, like many superannuates at Holt St, his sting is long gone, his wit washed away and replaced by a tiresome, repetitive set of themes that would struggle to attract attention of the smart young audience who wouldn't dream of reading The Australian.

    Who will turn the lights out soon when it's all over? At least the Dog Botherer will be able to write a final column advising how the light should have been turned out correctly if only people paid him attention.

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    1. Ah, VC, now I know how Cassandra must have felt.

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