Tuesday, August 23, 2016

In which the pond doesn't see bigots everywhere ... unless you call the Menzies Research Centre everywhere ...

The pond is mortified. How could the pond have said that Monday is the best day of the week at the lizard Oz?

On the basis of a half-baked Oreo biscuit and a jumped-up, attention-seeking British donkey shouting 'look at me, look at me', and the 'not the pond's ABC' obliging in its usual way when it comes to attention-seekers, as they contrary troll away...

Watch? Watch?! Wash out your mouths with soap, reptiles, recycling this wretched show in your quest for hits ... have you no shame, or pride, or dignity?

But there was one upside. A correspondent linked to this cartoon here, and the pond loved it so well, it had to show it off ...

Clearly, Monday is the worst day of the week, and in comparison, Tuesday infinitely fair and clearly the best, except Saturdays when prattling Polonius celebrates the triumph of Vietnam!

Or does the pond need to do more hard yakka to achieve enlightenment?

More here, but is it true that everything in the digital Oz is the best, as the editor said, and you cannot find here any half-baked bit of prejudiced ranting that is not the best bit of bigoted, prejudiced ranting?

As if the answer's not clear - it's Caterist day! Game over.

But first, before we get on to the bigotry, can the pond just clear up one matter. The reptiles of late have been shattered and in tears ...

No one seems to understand the reason, but it's simple, and the pond only realised this, thanks to the reptiles and the Caterists.

Leftist defeatism.

Reliance on government funding, grants and other forms of welfare payments.

An expectation that "government will do something", when everyone knows that the government couldn't run a chook raffle at a swimming meet without drowning the chook.

It's time for the Murdochians to begin funding athletes, and the pond was immensely moved by the news that the Caterists have given up their own government grant as an example to all.

Henceforth the Caterists will be subject only to free market forces ... up at 3 am to win medals and deplore grants ...

Oh okay, the pond is babbling again, but perhaps that's because the Caterists opened up this way this day ...

By golly that's funny, that's witty, that's clever. The perfect smack down.

What a funny put down of that silly wog with his funny accents and his tones, and never mind if it might be five or six ...

Tim Suddenlyapomisinsane, or whatever he is or however he spells his silly alien, exotic name ... why once upon a time, when the empire ruled the waves, he would have been a clerk tending to imperial overlords and by golly the world was a better place.

Promising sociologically inclined lads could set out from Essex and teach the bloody natives a lesson in civilised and polite conversation ... and learn 'em proper British instead of all this silly wog spelling and tonal carry-on that no one can make heads or tails of ...

Won't someone throw him a banana for a wicked, fully sick laugh?

Yes, fuck it, if a man isn't going to carry a sensible name like Smith or Jones, or Nick "the totally up himself" Cater, why fuck him, and fuck the horses he rode in on ...

Uppity wogs, they're ruining the place ... waiter, another dry sherry if you don't mind, we have the next gobbet to get through ...

Yes, just because Pauline called out the bloody chinks and the filthy vile Islamics for invading and ruining the country, let's not have any nonsense or carry on ... or you'll end up being a victim of the pack-hunting boars on social media, as opposed to the loving, sweetly-phrased, harmonious, response of your average taxpayer-grant funded Caterist ...

Indeed, indeed, Hey Dad! star Robert Hughes loses appeal against sexual offence conviction ... damn you justice system, damn you to hell, what we need is a Caterist sense of natural justice, completely unrelated to actual justice ...

And as for the racist Leak, carry on regardless.

Damned philosophy degrees. So much to answer for. If only he'd studied sociology, he would have understood how funny his tones and his spelling sounds to a decent English man ...

Now if any of that sounds a tad culturally loaded, please don't expect the Caterist to apologise. There's still much heavy lifting to be done pocketing that taxpayer-grant funding ... the bigots at the Menzies Research Centre can't compete in the bigotry marathon relying on just private sector funding ...

And so to a Rowe, setting out the next Olympics course, which, being organised by the government undoubtedly will be vexed ... and more Rowe here ...


  1. Replies
    1. I wonder if Tim Wilson could ever pronounce Tim Sout--'s name when they were both bosom Commissioners together ? I wonder if all of the Human Rights Commission's happy campers have passed the 'How to Pronounce Tim Sout--'s Name' test ?

      But then, you see, there is, for example, a foreign name that simply everybody (except those who are Spanish speakers) have trouble with: Quixote.

      Is it entirely quixotic to pronounce that as 'Key-hoe-tay' ? Or. as the anonymous Guardianer would have it: Donkey Shotty. But our nameless Guardianer had this right: "We’ve learned that it’s unrealistic to expect people to be able to pronounce names that they’ve never heard before."
      (see https://www.theguardian.com/books/shortcuts/2015/oct/12/can-you-pronounce-don-quixote-properly )

      What's even worse is trying to pronounce names you can't even hear right in the first place, no matter how hard you try - us oldies simply don't have the frequency independent hearing of our younger years, and languages with multiple 'tones' - whether 5 or 6 - are hard for us to hear correctly.

      So, under those circumstances would a disinclination for me to attempt to pronounce Tim Sout--'s name be an act of racial discrimination, or an act of trying to avoid embarrassment on my part and annoyance/grievance on his part ? What would it take to awaken him to this thought ?

      Oh, and by the way, it isn't Mos-kow, it's M'skva where ' signifies the 'universal elision vowel' mostly pronounced as the u in 'huh'. And it isn't Wore-sore either, it's Var-sharv-a. But we all knew that, didn't we.

      I wonder if Tim S would ever make a serious attempt to pronounce Llanfair­pwllgwyngyll­gogery­chwyrn­drobwll­llan­tysilio­gogo­goch. Apparently it's easy if only you can pronounce a voiced-voiceless 'l' pair.

  2. Under anti-discrimination law it's a commission enquiring into a complaint first up, not a criminal court. Presumption of innocence aint to be conflated with natural justice. Nasty confused propagandist reptiles. Wasn't the warden Ming first a lawyer?

  3. According to that way of thinking, the best way to prevent your house burning down is to fill it with containers of flammable material.
    That way you are more conscious of creating dangerous sparks.

    It's interesting that those who make the most noise about racism seem to be those who have never been on the receiving end.

  4. Tallulah BankheadAug 23, 2016, 12:30:00 PM

    I think every Brendan O'Neill column could be replaced by that World of Tomorrow cartoon. Great find, correspondent!

  5. The only problem with the Tom Tomorrow cartoon filling in for Brendan O'Neill is that the O'Neill/IPA character is far too cheery.

    He lacks that trademark sneer, the head-shaking, upper lip risen contempt and misery that the O'Neills, the Bolts, the Divines all wear as their stock in trade.

    Small wonder. If anyone else were producing the acreage of bile and provocation that they all churn out, they would arguably not look too chipper either.


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