Monday, July 18, 2016

Shades of Oreo this paranoid, grandiose, provocative Monday ...


What, in the dictionary sense of the word? 

....acting as a stimulus or incitement, esp to anger or sexual desire; provoking: a provocative look; a provocative remark. (here)

She was asking for it? She was "provocative"? Possibly she deserved everything she got, because she was "provocative"?

Oh, they changed the splash later, they knew they'd done wrong, but not soon enough for the pond ...

But what a despicable, contemptible, low rent click bait attempt at becoming the Daily Mail down under experience it is these days to visit Fairfax ...

"Provocative?" Wash the patriarchal cant from your lips and your copy, you shameless wretches.

Which explains why the pond prefers to maintain its forensic study of the reptiles in their splendid herpetarium bunker in Surry Hills ...

And just look at the array of goodies they lined up this morning at the top of their digital page ...

Is it anything but sheer, bloody-minded perversity that, confronted with such a splendid Aladdin's cave of treasures, the pond should immediately head to the Oreo pack for a delicious wafer?

Let us not dilly dally any more, let us plunge into the feast ...

Indeed, indeed, it would be shocking and shameless if Malware were to exclude the onion muncher, a man of generosity, a man who refuses to buckle to petty behaviour, a man without a hint of foot-stamping childish petulance ...

What a shame he couldn't attend. And what a modest offering for the farmers and the pigs gathered in celebration of George Orwell...

As for the rest, the pond was left gaping in awe and admiration at the ability to conflate the fate of the onion eating wall puncher with the entire future of politics and western civilisation.

The pond immediately felt remorse, tucking these fine sentiments into a screen cap, when they should be allowed to roam wild and free:

For conservatives, moral principle is the motive force of politics. In the context of substantive conservatism, morality serves as the foundation of philosophy, politics, spirituality and society. It connects the past, present and future, creating the continuous history of Western civilisation.

The moral compass of conservatism distinguishes it from the other major schools of mainstream political thought. In simplified terms they are neo-Marxism, whose animus is the ideology of revolutionary socialism led by manufactured minorities; classical liberalism, whose advocates cultivate individual liberty as a counter­force to statism; and centrism, which combines pragmatism with rational planning. 

The major parties of 21st century ­democracies combine the four political tendencies to varying ­degrees. But the inability to ­accommodate such antithetical politics within the two-party system is fracturing majoritarian ­democracies across the West and driving voters to seek a politics of certainty championed by conviction politicians. 

There you go, feel free to cut and paste and print these fine pars off.

Perhaps hang a copy on the toilet wall so that whenever feeling constipated, you might contemplate the splendid insights.

Oh wait, and you might care to add this, in case you want a comedy item as well as the sense of incipient delusional grandiosity ...

The time is ripe for a conservative party in Australia, but its ­leader has not yet emerged. Among current MPs, only Abbott has the education, expertise, experience and temperament to lead it. Hastie is emerging as a leading light but he is too new to federal politics to assume the mantle of leadership. There are few positive portents that either will be offered the opportunity to flourish on the front benches of the new government.

Only Abbott ... because his time as PM was such a rip-roaring success. Or perhaps creationists, front and centre, quick step!

And now back to a screen cap for the final gobbet, though truth to tell, it's almost a crime to lock away these words in such a primitive presentation ...

No wonder the reptiles thought this clarion call by the Oreo should be at the very top of the digital page, beguiling readers to plunge in deep and do their best to act as sentinels guarding the west.

Who else would remind us of the Christian tradition of liberty embodied in the Inquisition, the Index Librorum Prohibitorum, and not to leave the angry Protestants out of it, the Iconoclasm which saw them enter into the same sort of jihad against images that became such a feature of Islamic fundamentalism.

And that final line, The triumph of freedom and the future of the free world and Tony Abbott and onion munchers everywhere hangs in the balance ... was simply so exquisite, so compelling, that the pond was rendered speechless.

All this said, all this admiration expended, he pond has no idea why its hits are down, and why, in faithfully tracking the reptiles, no one seems to share its perverse interest in the sweet scaly creatures ...

What it says about the reptiles' own business plan, the pond hasn't the foggiest ...

Never mind, duty is done, and now it's time for a quiet cup of tea ... and of course a wafer full of frothy mindless cream, a gift of Christian civilisation ... as young and as old as sentinels guarding the paranoid west ...


  1. "I must have Oreo Sandwich for dessert" the delightful advert says.

    Hmmm. I did mention, in passing, didn't I, that the GOP committee were debating as to whether all Oreos are junk food, or just the chocolate coated ones ? Because "those people" mustn't be allowed to buy junk food with their SNAP money (thank goodness T-bone steaks aren't "junk food" and Cadillacs aren't "junk cars").

    But it isn't her witless simpering about how onion-munchers and desperate creationists must join forces to save the world, it's her use of words.

    "English as she is spoke", when I was young, was a classic instance of anti-grammatical use for the purposes of humour (such as humour was in those days) because one should never use a "personal" pronoun (ie applying to people) for things (eg the English language). We were all taught that.

    But now, Lady Oreole says "...neo-Marxism, whose animus is ...", not "... neo-Marxism, the animus of which is ...". So I looked it up in the Google World-Wide Encyclopedia, and behold it says that 'whose' may be used with both people and things ! Now that, I reckon, should be a major Conservative cause: preserving the historical, traditional and moral use of words such as "whose".

    Ok, who else is with me on this one ?

  2. I would say that the moral 'magnetic north' of the conservative compass has been corrupted by some pretty strong currant(cy), redirecting it's followers to a false goal with a false prophet as it's leader!

  3. Oh no, not currant-flavoured Oreos!!

  4. Poor Jennifer's fear is palpable.Maybe she should be tapping uncle Rupe for private security or some such.
    "At a pivotal moment in the history of the free world,conservatives must forge the continuity of Western civilization by renewing the Christian tradition of liberty".......To quote jazz legend Wayne Shorter, in conversation with Jon Faine and Wilbur Wilde a few weeks back,when discussing the current state of the current world political. "Well....If you know your have no rights"

    The Oreo needs to get over her fear and delusion,or better still, get a job she is good at.
    To veer of topic a bit, where is Moorice?.....I'm in Melbourne,where it is blowing a gale, Avalon(11.30am),the Jasmine has been in flower for a month and the back veranda is home to quite a number of flies,...all in the guts of winter.Maybe he is working on a thesis of the Global Climate Menopause.


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