Saturday, July 09, 2016

In which the pond turns to the bromancer for a dose of respiration ...

The pond couldn't resist connecting the dots ...



Oh no, say it ain't so. The politics and the anger could run anywhere. Weep for Australia ...

Of course it turned out on reading the bromancer that the pond had just been baited and hooked, and alarmist dribble once more featured as the technique du jour on the reptile's digital splashes ...

By the end of the read, the pond didn't feel like weeping - at least for Australia, where gun slaughter isn't that common, or sense an acute risk, but instead felt a vast wave of tedium and ennui ...

Well, passing punters on their Westconnex way to the dogs have been warned, and hey nonny no, on we go ...


Without the American design features that allow them to cope ...

It was around this point that the pond was reminded of its own childhood experience, of encountering a boy who whenever he said something about anything, the pond simply couldn't understand a word he was saying.

The boy thought he was being deep, and no doubt he was, but it came across to the pond as some sort of garbled morse code broken up in transmission so that the dots and dashes made no sense at all...

It didn't matter what the boy spoke about, it made no sense to the pond. Yet the pond kept going back and back to talk to the boy, to try to get an inkling of understanding, to try to make sense of anything at all ...

It's like the bromancer coming out with that line ...

Without the American design features that allow them to cope ...

That's the sort of line that brings the pond to a dead halt ... what on earth does the bromancer mean?

Yes, it's time to see what the bromancer has to say about the very unique (thanks ABC 24) American design features and the way that it allows them to cope ...


Ah, finally, an inkling.

So that's how the American design system copes ... that's how they take firm steps to deal with the problem of guns in the community ...

Now with a glimmer of awareness and understanding, the pond returned to that other enormous pool of blather, to see if the light might continue to shine ...



Of course the pond was enormously relieved to realise that regional pork-barreling and boondoggling is an entirely new phenomenon in Australian politics. Apparently this is a fresh importation from the United States, a blight, a taint on a system that had functioned without any mendicant regional funding. Thank the long absent lord that when Ming the Merciless splashed the cash on Catholic schools he was only thinking of the children. The pond was outraged to read David Gillespie in the Currish Snail brooding about this:

The Catholics opted out to run their own schools (on a shoestring) and a few Anglican secondary schools continued to rely exclusively on private fees. 
But, for almost a century, Australian governments refused to fund private choices about school education. And for almost a century we had a high-equity, secular education system the envy of the world. It was mostly fear of an electoral backlash that kept the politicians at bay. 
But when Sir Robert Menzies won the 1963 election with a promise to fund science blocks in non-government schools, the can was opened and the worms tasted freedom. There was no backlash. The electorate no longer cared. 
There is no better way to target a marginal parliamentary seat than selectively distribute largesse among school communities. School funding is the laser-guided vote buyer. The pollies had entered pork barrel heaven. And Australia has incessantly increased funding to “private” schools ever since. But the annual funding is just the tip of the money-berg. In addition to the $10 billion the taxpayer forks out every year to run private schools, we are buying Olympic pools, cricket ovals the ICC would envy, fabulously appointed gymnasiums, fantastic science facilities and computer labs to die for. 
The total bill for this extra taxpayer generosity between 2005 and 2010 was just a smidgen under $5 billion (on top of the $10 billion a year in running costs). (here if the paywall lets you).

But then, just as everything seemed clear, and the pond could see clearly now, up popped that childhood boy to confuse and confound the pond yet again ...

"This is much closer to the American system than it looks. Almost all American senators are notionally Republicans or Democrats. But they are all really de facto independents ..."

And so with a wave of the hand, all American senators, notionally Republicans or Democrats, turn out to be independents ... and suddenly the pond was swept down the rabbit hole and back with Humpty Dumpty ...

'I don't know what you mean by "glory",' Alice said. 
Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. 'Of course you don't — till I tell you. I meant "there's a nice knock-down argument for you!"' 
'But "glory" doesn't mean "a nice knock-down argument",' Alice objected. 
'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.' 
'The question is,' said Alice, 'whether you can make words mean so many different things.' 
'The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, 'which is to be master — that's all.' 
Alice was too much puzzled to say anything; so after a minute Humpty Dumpty began again. 'They've a temper, some of them — particularly nouns describing American senators: they're the proudest — adjectives you can do anything with, but not nouns like Republicans and Democrats that saunter around in Republican and Democratic parties acting like adjectives — however, I can manage the whole lot of them! 
'Impenetrability! That's what I say!' 
'Would you tell me please,' said Alice, 'what that means?' 
'Now you talk like a reasonable child,' said Humpty Dumpty, looking very much pleased. 
'I meant by "impenetrability" that American senators are all independents, and nothing to do with Republican or Democrat, and we've had enough of that subject, and it would be just as well if you'd mention what you mean to do next, as I suppose you don't mean to stop here all the rest of your life.' 
'That's a great deal to make one word mean,' Alice said in a thoughtful tone. 
'When I make a word do a lot of work like that,' said Humpty Dumpty, 'I always pay it extra. 'Independents' always gets paid triple time, even if it's only a Saturday.'

But enough of Humpty, because the bromancer Dumpty is still on a fine old roll ... think of it as the power of Dope ...


It was around this time - the pond is a very slow learner - that the pond realised it wasn't going to learn anything about American or Australian politics that might pass as insight.

It was in the company of a verbiage wind machine, as relevant, and as insightful and as meaningful as a zephyr caressing the clouds ...

But naturally being a glutton for punishment, the pond lined up for the final gobbet ...


Because, for good or for ill, in the past, political leaders felt no need, absolutely no need at all, to inspire their followers ...

When asked about the need for inspiration, Winston Churchill admirably said inspiration?

Schmaltzpiration ...schmilzpiration ...schmuckspiration ...

And a horde of other politicians followed Winnie. Who needs inspiration? Why the entire history of politics has seen hordes of politicians totally ignore the enthusiasm gap and emerge triumphant ...

Well it was a long haul, and that hovering boy who made no sense to the pond finally had to step aside in favour of a cartoon which seemed to summarise what the bromancer was saying ... in a single word ... and more Moir here ...





6 comments:

  1. "...though it was fascinating to see their Senate and house vote decline substantially in this election."

    Yes, because in Humpty-Dumpty-Bromancer-land an increase in the HoR primary vote from 8.65% to 9.79% is a decline.

    And a decrease in the senate of 0.15%* is "substantial". As compared to the gossamer-like coalition loss of 2.1%*.

    I mean, seriously, someone pays Sheridan to write this stuff? It not even good propaganda - if I was Uncle Rupert, I'd be wanting my money back.

    Shakes head, stalks of mumbling to himself....

    FD

    *Based on the original 2013 results. Including the rerun WA senate results, those percentages would be -0.74% and -1.31% respectively. Closer, but still...

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  2. Dorothy, I suggest that you rename this blow-hard the NECROMANCER, it would be much more appropriate.
    Ted Cruz was a easily the most raving loony nut-job in the field of possible repugnant party presidential hopefuls. And potentially the most dangerous - a "real" live true-believer zealot.
    Kasich & Rubio were not far behind.
    And of course as is/was par for all the relatives of the village idiot from Texas, Jeb Bush was an accomplished expert at applied pork-barrel politics.
    By the way the various members of the Bush thieves did very nicely out of the 1980's Savings & Loan Scandal

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  3. Good grief.....the Bro is absolutely the most tedious,rambling loon in all of Oz, but you made it most enjoyable DP. God help that poor Nun that had to teach him or the poor bastards that have to live next door to him.

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    Replies
    1. I suggest you try reading Paul Kelly, Anon. There might be some competition there.

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    2. Maybe it's because it brought back my own memories of of the introduction of decimal currency, or because I was also taught by a (different) Sister De Lourdes at a (different) Sydney Catholic primary school, but I actually enjoyed that bit of the Bro's article. Right, that's about 150 half-interesting words out of the millions he's poured out over the years....... Gawd, he does ramble on, doesn't he? The Bro seems to think that if he just gibbers on long enough, any conclusions he reaches will be accepted by readers who are simply grateful that he's finished.

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  4. I'm beginning to think that Greggy is some kind of wingnut quantum particle: a simultaneous superposition of all possible wingnut positions and beliefs, no matter how inherently self-contradictory.

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