Saturday, July 02, 2016

Day 103 of MUC and day 56 of MOC, and enough already with the counting ...



Whither the noble sausage sizzle? Wherefore the wondrous patty cake? How now sponge delight, with jam interleaving?

All going the way of the ancient lost dinosaur, it would seem, thanks to the unendurable, unimaginable, seemingly endless, somewhat infinite 103 days of unofficial campaigning and 56 days of official campaigning imposed by Malware (the pond acknowledges and honours the influence of News 24 presenters on all grammatical usage).

Why not vote early, then scarper? Why not flee the copper ponce, an eastern suburbs snob with no interest in the ritual of the sausage?

The pond is made of sterner stuff, and has hung around, if only to put an end to this damned interminable counting, this ticking off of day after day ...

But then realised it was in urgent need of a distraction, which not even a sausage or a patty cake might provide ... which explains why this day we've gone and dug out prattling Polonius.

It's a sorry and sordid tale. The powers that be at the lizard Oz have determined that prattling Polonius is no longer a contender for listing on the front digital page. Oh sure he might bob up later, but the tedious old bugger clearly isn't scoring the clicks and so he's been banished from the Saturday morning front digital page line up ...

This might help explain why the pond's own business model is failing ...

And yet, dear old Polonius once more shows what a devoted viewer of the ABC he is. How valiantly he rails against the unwashed horde, how diligently he peruses and berates them ...


Well it's easy enough to see why the prattler has been deemed unreadable. All that blather about the BBC so that a tweet might be declared a thought crime ...


Oh dear, the tedious old bugger, no wonder he's dropped off the front page. Forget the usual tedious repetitions about the ABC and conservatives and gay marriage, invoking Macbeth's injunction that, stepped in blood and tedious Polonius verbiage, should the pond wade no more, returning were as tedious as go o'er, strange things I have in head that will to hand, which must be acted ere they may be scanned ...

No, none of that. 

There he goes again, banging on about plebiscites in the first world war, stubbornly refusing to acknowledge that he might troop off to the National Archive and read fact sheet 161 about the conscription referendums of 1916 and 1917 ...

It all goes back to the senile one's exchanges with the Flanagans, and Can you bear it? The confusion of Gerard Henderson ... 

The Graudian's weekly beast even supplied this lovely period snap here ...


Yet the pedant in the prattler is so strong, he'd rather die than use the word 'referendum' ...

As for the rest, well it's just another standard rant by the prattler in the cause of letting the bigots out of the cupboard to give the gays a good pounding, speaking of which, look who's hidden cheek by jowl with the prattler on the lesser, hidden digital pages ...


No wonder the pedant is unhappy. 

To be reduced, hidden behind the digital arras, and coupled with the lesser Shanahan ... there should be a referendum about this sort of maltreatment ... even if these two peas sound like they belong in the same pod ...

Yes, there's nothing like conspiracy theories and sinister alternative worlds to get the pond going ... if nothing else, then at least in search of a decent sausage sizzle ...


Get the picture? 

Is that code for 'get the nausea'? 

Now the pond fancies itself as having a passing interest in the cinemah, the pictures that moved, wot wot, and all that, and to judge Barners' ad as well-acted, funny, and at the same time, downright ridiculous, suggests the pond, when reading the lesser Shanahan, isn't in the company of André Bazin or even Pauline Kael ...

If this is what passes for wit in the world of Shanahan, then the pond is right to suspect we might be dealing with a half-wit.

Hey nonny no, on we go ... and what's the bet that having laughed uproariously at the wit, the astonishing wit, the lesser Shanahan would suddenly become mortally offended and deeply wounded ...


Yep, it's yet another tedious example of the ScoMo school of persecuted, long-suffering Xian ...

There'll be a lot more of this in the days to come, the faux outrage, and the deeply felt homophobia ...




We don't really need people making fun of Mardi Gras when we can find people willing to link homosexuality to the rise of Hitler and the Nazis ...

Never mind, never mind, and speaking of pink triangles and gulags, and more Moir here ...



And so, for those outside the gulag, a chance to head off to a sausage sizzle ...



10 comments:

  1. It was good to see that even in this time of his growing senility, The Prattler still has some insight into himself and his reptile cohort. To quote from his rant:

    "Many journalists are among the large section of the intelligentsia who believe that their morality is higher and their wisdom greater than that of most of their fellow citizens."

    And then he provided this excellent self-critique:

    "But it is not the proper role of journalists to use their privileged position in an attempt to close down debate."

    I just don't understand why you're so unappreciative of a man capable of such compelling self-analysis, DP. But I can see why he is now banished to the inner darkness in the reptile media; we can't have such honesty exposed to the idiot readership.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The pond is deeply apologetic GB, your close reading of the text reveals an infinite, infallible wisdom that had escaped the pond. We are mortified, and will strive to do better.

      Delete
  2. "...a fringe group of pornographers and ex-porn queens..."

    Wow, that is straying mighty close to that sketchy line between legitimate comment and outright libel. FWIW, ASXP's candidates include:
    - a former maths teacher and corporate executive
    - a proprietor of a small IT company
    - an academic and historian, who writes occasional pieces for most media outlets including Angela's sheltered workshop.
    - a journalist / author / playwright
    - an award winning architect
    - a former school principal
    - a behavioural scientist (psychologist)

    I guess if it's okay to tar this diverse bunch with the brush of a couple of former sex workers, then Angela would have no issue at all with dismissing the entire Catholic Church as a bunch of kiddie-fiddlers then. I mean sauce for the goose and all that...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dontcha know, FrankD, pornographers and ex-porn queens are inherently dishonest.

      Delete
  3. Fairfax online this morning:

    "PM: a 'mugger whose taken your wallet'"

    At least the mugs corrected it later. Damn NZ subs!

    ReplyDelete
  4. At risk of being (more) offensive (than usual), DP, here's a beauty on the meaning of going viral.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Marcus Chown on a pair of right pukis.
    Love that comment "gokkle o geer".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh yes, Jerry can and Rupie cant.

      Actually, to me it's mauve* Gove who really looks like Rupie's hand is up his backside on the controls. It's that asinine schizophrenic stare of his (its ?) that gives it away.

      * blue for boys, pink for girls and mauve for in-betweens.

      Delete

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