Sunday, June 19, 2016

Day 90 of MUC and day 43 of MOC, and the pond is defeated by a terrible dilemma involving the fearless Order of Lenin hunter ...

The pond faces a terrible dilemma ...

It's not that the Sunday Terror has suddenly gone sentimental leftie and is worried about government programs this day ...

It's not the job of finding easy copy, what with the Terror's hardened harridans of hell speaking in an agitated way ...

Indeed, indeed, but whatever we do, let us not talk of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan conducted by a Christian Crusader nation, or for that matter the adventures in Libya and Syria, and the gulag known as Gaza...

Instead the onion muncher must be channeled, and fear must be lathered and spread.

While in the middle east (to revert to ancient British terminology and notions of empire) - put it another way, while in the middle west - the pond can recommend Tom Bissell in Harpers writing My Holy Land Vacation Touring Israel with 450 Christian Zionists and the revolt on the bus, outside the paywall for the moment (has a desperate Harpers had to change its approach to the intertubes?)

But back to the terrible dilemma. It isn't as if the thoughtful Miranda the Devine hasn't dolloped out this day the usual baleful poisonous essence of Devine ...

Yes, what about the homophobes of other churches? Are they all out of love, when surely they deserve their share?

Shouldn't the gay marriage haters be pandered to, wherever they might be found?  What about scientology? Is ignoring this wonderful religion, and the spaghetti lovers as well, the right way to go, when you've bunged on a do that is designed to be inclusive at the time of Ramadan (pity about some of the inclusions)?

Surely it needn't just have been about Ramadan? What about this Sunday being Pentecost for the Antiochian Orthodox Christian Church and Ukrainian Catholics and Egyptian Coptic Orthodox and the Greek Orthodox and Romanian St George Orthodox and Russian and Serbian Orthodox?

Now sure the Catholics might only be in the Sundays of the Eleventh and Twelfth Week of Ordinary Time, but there's no doubt these are just as important as Ramadan, and therefore, Malware should have sat next to the Tykes and the angry Sydney Anglicans and told the Islamics to bugger off.

Oh the joys of seating, which has always caused the pond terrible trouble ...

But at least we know we can be terribly happy getting donations from a cult, the Exclusive Brethren ... why there's a cult that deserves a place at the table, because they do the decent thing and pay their way: 'No complaints': Malcolm Turnbull defends Brethren donations to Liberal Party.

As for Malware, mean Pope skewered him in a fine way ... and more Pope here ... (it's understood the name is multi-faith).

The pond likes to imagine that the Devine, Peta the scourge, the onion muncher, and all the reptiles of Oz make up that dinosaur happily munching on safe schools and gay marriage ...

But let's not forget that the gay-hating Exclusive Brethren helped provide Malware with his plate of besan laddu (so handy when wanting to be fully inclusive).

But none of this has to do with the pond's dilemma.

You see, each Saturday these days the reptiles run by one of the country's most expert Order of Lenin hunters, a man who made his name by turning the lizard Oz into base metal (why didn't Malware invite the odd alchemist and Jungian to his feast?)

The pond would like to mock Mitchell. After all, turning the Oz into a rabid attack dog down there with the Currish Snail and the Terrorists is an achievement worth celebrating.

And yet when it actually comes to reading and commenting on Mitchell's output, the pond quails.

As a columnist, Mitchell makes 'Ned' Kelly seem like a livewire ...

All he's got is recycling Peta Credlin and Mark Latham? And abusing Bruce Springsteen for being a success (his father was a bus driver, yet we're supposed to fawn over Malware's father?)

Oh and traducing junior Woodchucks, who have infinitely more awareness in their fingertip than Unca Donald and Unca Chris have in their entirety ...

And that's the terrible dilemma. As a scribbler, Mitchell might make a good editor, except we already know he made a terrible editor, which is possibly why he's turned into a terribly tedious scribbler ...

What's the bet he'll mention Peter Dutton and yet not mention the only interesting story, which featured Dutton yet again jonesing for the return of the onion muncher?

Oh wait, that's only so Mitchell can himself celebrate Abbott looking good in hindsight ... because we all love a barbecue-stopping knighthood ..

It is in the end a fatally flawed and misconceived exercise, a kind of extended Cut and Paste, without even the malicious style of that useless thing, and without any fresh and useful insights.

There's not even eccentricity of the usual reptile kind ...

The pond can't see it lasting, but then the pond could never see a reason for Paul 'Ned' Kelly to dodder on, but look, there he goes, still doddering ...

And so to a couple of nicely eccentric touches, up there with an acceptance of fundamentalist Xian cults ...


  1. The RWNJ's are an unforgiving mob. One of them linked to today's essence of Devine with the comment "Miranda, the prodigal has returned".

    One reply seems to indicate that not everyone is impressed;

    "’s too little too late.

    "Personally, I hope she and all the other aiders and abettors, who should have known better, live very long lives so they might see first hand the world they will have bequeathed to their grandchildren.

    "I hope they are here to clutch at their pearls as hundreds of thousands of innocent women and children die gruesome, painful and pointless deaths because she didn’t have the wit to read and understand history.

    "I hope she has decades of life ahead of her so that she may repent in leisure.

    "After that she can rot in hell with her like-minded colleagues."

    These people have a lot of emotional disabilities and cognitive limitations that become very apparent when they talk among themselves; the 'always escalate' response is something that they are not ashamed to promote. There is a fundamental confusion about who they as not lefties are and what they actually believe in. The only thing that unites them and they can talk about is a hatred of 'leftism', or their flawed and ignorant idea of 'leftism', and a lack of shame at a shared preference for hurting people they all have, rather than wanting to help people.

    1. The beauty of living "hatred of leftism" Anony, is that "Leftism" can be given any shape or flavour that suits your prejudices and bigotries. C'est magnifique.

      But the bit about "I don't care if I'm hurt so long as "Those People" are hurt worse" is to compare that stance with game theory based Behavioural Economics. In that case the idea of suffering some disadvantage in favour of others is praised: the idea of the games in which somebody is given, say, $20 and they have to decide how much of it to give to the 'passive' player. The thing is that it's mostly half (or near to it) and retaining about half for themselves.

      Praiseworthy self-sacrifice ! But not if the idea is how much 'negative reward' they want to pass on - which is always very generously much more than 50%.

      So it goes.

  2. ABC live feed from Labor's launch cut off twice, so they show Poodles instead. A conspiracy?

  3. "...let us not talk of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan conducted by a Christian Crusader nation, or for that matter the adventures in Libya and Syria, and the gulag known as Gaza..."

    Indeed and also let us not mention the First and Second Vietnam (Indochina) Wars and the "carpet bombing" of Cambodia, the French (a lovely Catholic nation) in Morocco, Algeria and New Caledonia (amongst several others, including terrorist acts against Greenpeace in NZ), the British in Kenya. And I'd mention the Suez Crisis too, but I don't dare to publicly criticise the "chosen of Yahweh".

    Anybody else want to add a few more examples of the peace-loving "civilised peoples" of the 'Judeo-Christian Western Civilisation' ? The Dutch in Indonesia perhaps ? Or the Belgians in their Congo, maybe ? There was a couple of really big dramas up to the middle of the last century, too, I think.

    "... Peta the scourge ..."

    Ooh, I like that ... I had tentatively labelled her "Peta the harpie" but that's unkind in a multi-faith nation in a multi-faith era with politically correct multi-faith dinners hosted by politically correct multi-faith Prime Ministers (he has to be politically correct because he objected strenuously to a bit of genuine multi-cultural holy law. I bet he eats prawns and works on Sunday, too.).

  4. Love your work. Matty corman has already yelled liar at bill.

    I know it is not your usual fare but please pretty please would you do a piece on the number of minutes in an hour's ( the name we dare not speak partly owned by fox) Nauru story tomorrow night.

  5. We have a Trump! It's Eddie McGuire. A genuine "mate" who would cringe beneath the skirts of "PC!".

  6. Oh dear Fairfax. Are your NZ subbies on holiday? 3 million a week becomes 150 a year. Seems to be a bargain to me.

    "The $3 million a week being 'wasted' on consultants

    State government spends $150 a year on what critics claim is 'privatisation by stealth'."

    1. The pond is intimately aware of the way, thanks to a ruling which goes back to John Howard's days, that prohibits expanding the public service, but makes no mention of using consultants at vast expense, and so, in the spirit of the US military, simple jobs that could be resolved by spending 150k a year on an employee end up costing $2k a day on a consultant, much of which goes to a hiring company which does sweet fuck all for its 30% or so ...

      It's enormously stupid, up there with the decision by Fairfax to abandon any notion of quality or quality control and expect people to pay for the result.


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