Tuesday, June 07, 2016

Day 78 of MUC and day 31 of MOC, and everything's rolled gold at the reef, and teachers do it for a rolled gold reward, thanks to the Caterists ...

And so the campaign to end nattering negativity and three word slogans rolls on, thanks be unto Malware and the reptiles ... how good it is to live in a time of continuity and no change ...

Meanwhile, the pond was startled again this morning to be reminded of the quite unique capacity of the ABC's presenters to irritate the pond with their routine, daily abuse of the meaning of words.

This morning it was Michael Rowland, hailing the arrival in the studio of a "rolled gold" Broadway star.

Such an idle defamation of the actor involved, calling her a thin layer of gold applied over a metal such as brass, and used in inexpensive jewellery. But why not just say we're very excited to have a thin layer of base metal-covered, cheap, tawdry, gold-coated jewellery turning up in the studio this morning?

Brassy ...

Quite unique? Perhaps that should have been enormously unique ...

Meanwhile, a day's work is never done for diligent reptiles, and this day the reptiles continue the business of mopping up reef business -  no doubt they'll reserve next week for further explanations as to why we shouldn't mention climate change in relation to current record-breaking events.

Good old Lloydie, what a trouper, always a glass half full in Lloydie's world, and ditto for the Oz editorialist ...

Naturally the pond was expecting a rip-snorting, full-blooded explanation of why everything was for the best in the best of all possible worlds. Instead this is what turned up ...

That's it? That's the best they've got? Tim Flannery and it's tricky enough, so enough already?

It'd be risible if it wasn't pathetic, and speaking of the pathetic, that reminds the pond that it's Caterist day, and what better way to ensure the hits drop off and people go off to do something useful with their lives than to regurgitate the Caterist in full cry ...

It turns out this day, perhaps mindful of the need for taxpayer cash to be conserved so that it might be usefully granted to his institute, that the Caterist expends much energy explaining why cash is useless when it comes to schooling ...

Yes, throwing taxpayer grants at the Caterists - cash is fine, cash can be handled - is the answer to whatever question that ails you, and it will be an enormous relief to private schools for them to learn that cash is not the answer to their problems ...

The pond was enormously moved, almost to tears, at the sight of the conga line of private school principals with cheques in hand, ready to give their money back to the federal government, modestly explaining that money was meaningless, and truly the students might learn best, while gathered in large groups under the willow tree down at the bottom of the playground ...

Oh indeed, indeed and just as taxpayer grants can't turn a Caterist into anything but rolled gold, it seems that cash is entirely useless, and truth to tell, education is pretty useless with a lot of the dummies that litter the landscape ...

Let's mock the weary and the dispossessed, and the losers and the dropkicks, though it might help if you have your taxpayer grant safely in your paw before you do so ...

Indeed, indeed, let us raise the issue of money if only so we can explain that money is sordid and certainly not the solution (you did make sure you banked that taxpayer grant before we started down this path, didn't you?).

To the extent that the quality of teachers might make a difference, it is important to remember that these teachers will do it for the love of the children and for the changing of society for the better, and will happily work for years for a pittance, for the smell of an oily rag, for the sheer elevated glory and the sacrificial chance to be a Mr Chips just waiting for that tear-moistening final farewell ... and before that, all they need is a nice cup of tea and a sponge cake ...

Splendid stuff, and so to the last gobbet of Caterist gobbledegook ...

And the Caterists have ensured that taxpayer money is granted in the right direction, to the Menzies Research Centre, so that the world might be plastered with banners praising Malcolm Turnbull's selfless father ...

Or some such thing. To tell the truth, the pond never actually pays much attention to what the Caterists say anymore ... it's just a form of rolled gold blather that makes up the cornucopia of caterwauling emanating from the well-heeled Surry Hills bunker ...

Instead anybody who's made it this far needs a refreshing cartoon...and more Pope here and more Rowe here ...


  1. Great cartoons once again by Pope and Rowe. The latter's reminds me of this gem:

    Who'd a thought thirty years ago we'd all be sittin' here drinking Chateau de Chassilier wine?

    MP: Aye. In them days, we'd a' been glad to have the price of a cup o' tea.

    GC: A cup ' COLD tea.

    EI: Without milk or sugar.

    TG: OR tea!

    MP: In a filthy, cracked cup.

    EI: We never used to have a cup. We used to have to drink out of a rolled up newspaper.

    GC: The best WE could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.

    TG: But you know, we were happy in those days, though we were poor.

    MP: Aye. BECAUSE we were poor. My old Dad used to say to me, "Money doesn't buy you happiness."

    1. "Those who say that money doesn't buy happiness just don't know where to shop". Bo Derek

  2. Hi Dorothy,

    Now that I've been reassured that the GBR is in fact receiving top class care and is in pristine condition, I suppose I can stop worrying about the mangroves too.



    1. What'll save that turtle George?

    2. Malware's COALition has a plan to kick those worries away DW.


    3. Oh dear, Anony-1, Puddin' and Pie has been a provocative little Porgie, hasn't he.

      Maybe he shouldn't try so hard to kiss the turtles.

  3. Now let me see ... the Caterist says:

    It was apparent from the first scene that Kambyra College was well resourced; all children had access to a laptop and the classrooms were in reasonable repair."

    And wikipedia ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kambrya_College ) says: "Kambrya College has sister schools in China, Japan and Germany, and has relations with schools in Timor and South Africa. Students and staff visit these schools on either annual or bi-annual visits."

    Oh yes, that's just your average outer suburban/country working class school that's such a great example of how poor schools can nonetheless 'make do'.

    Gee, back in my day [and you have no idea how much satisfaction having survived long enough to say that gives me] we got a 50 or more year old weatherboard building - which, yeah, mostly kept the rain out, but not the heat of summer and it didn't keep any warmth in in winter, either - and some old wooden double seated desks with ink wells, a nib pen and a bottle of ink (which the Ink Monitor" had to dole out into the inkwells on a regular basis).

    Yep, no doubt back then we passed the 'Cater Test' for being schoolkids who didn't depend on getting large amounts of funding. And that's why, of course, in learning how to overcome our deprivations, we all became fabulously successful scholars and citizens.

    So you see, the Caterist is right: spending any money on education is a waste. Far better to use it for funding "think tanks" and giving tax cuts to the rich (just to act as incentive to all the rest of us, of course).

  4. Malware goes out to play...

  5. Sir David Attenborough says "Great Barrier Reef is in grave danger".

    Fundamentalist crackpot broadsheet newspaper says "She'll be right, nothing to see here, move along".

    Surely you'd take your guidance from the low-circulating crackpots over a rolled-gold expert in the game?

    1. Too right vc. Although never detected, and never seen, there is again earlier this year rolled gold confirmation of a cyclical Force X causation from the Sun. Nothing to do with planet Earth at all, move along now...


      "In case you missed it, David Evans and Jo Nova are science deniers from Western Australia who make a living from gullible skeptics. David and Jo claim it's going to get very cold very soon because of an undetectable, mysterious, magical Force X that lives in the sun."

    2. "Surely you'd take your guidance from the low-circulating crackpots over a rolled-gold expert in the game?"

      Vc. an interesting test of that here:


  6. 30% is nothing. And opportunity equals accomplishment.

    At least according to Cater.


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