Thursday, April 21, 2016

Day 31, and what the Liberal party needs is someone to whip it into shape ... or a manly man ...

The pond was slightly on edge, but then everything became clear, there was a way forward, thanks be unto the Daily Terrorists (and the HUN, but hey, they're Melbourne) ...

The Bolter was on the prowl and doing his level best to help out ...

Indeed, indeed. Every Liberal needs a firm hand - the firmer the better, the stronger the stroke the more sure the result - and a good whipping. Firm buttocks wobbly and pliant under nuanced cane.

Please, do go on ...

Shocking, but at least the Bolter knows the solution ...

Ah yes, the good whipping that goes with the firm hand like the Deadwood Stage goes with a whip-crack-away ...

Yes, it's not just Liberal men who need a firm hand. Liberal women need it too ...

By golly, these wretches are in total chaos ...

Is this a team? Or a rabble? Line up for your medicine, you wretches, or ship out ...

But wait there's more. Come back here, and take that magazine out of your strides Bunter, and bend over ...

Peta? How about Bettie?

And then the pond began to wonder.

Is a strong woman enough? 

Wouldn't having a manly man also help? 

Someone who can shirt front and kick butt and bang heads, the more head banging the better.

The very same man as featured today in tag team tandem with the Bolter in the Daily Terrorist opinion pages.

What about the new Kevin? He's here to help ...

A manly man for sure ...

Let's see how he helps ...

Yes, a tough cop with a warning about a ticking time bomb, and when you're confronted with a ticking time bomb, you need a manly man to guess which wire to cut ... and the new Kevin showed an almost infinite capacity to cut the right wire ...

Of course the Turnbull government needs to be returned, though hopefully with a sufficiently small majority that Turnbull himself is destabilised, and then the old team of wire-cutters, Tony and Peta, reunited, can whip everyone into shape ...

How else to explain the leaking of those documents to Sky that the Bolter complained about? 

Can we have a pictorial reminder of the old former Chairman Kev, as a reminder of the noble aspirations, style, demeanour and conduct of the new old former Chairman Tony ....

Ah yes, what we need is a consummate union basher who knows which wire to cut. So many wires, so little time ...

So let's cut that wire and head back to the future, perhaps as far back as the 1950s ...

Indeed, indeed. Just how much lasting damage was done by the worst government in our history is only now starting to become apparent.

Will the Great Barrier Reef recover?

Is there a future for the NBN?

But former Chairman Tony hasn't learned and would do it all again ... and more.

Just so long as current Chairman Malware can sneak back into government, and then the cats can really have fun, and the country will be doomed to another reign of the doofus ...

Such are the dreams of the everyday housewife and the delusions of the political featherdusters of the past ... 

And now since the pond is doing movie references ...(what, you never saw The Notorious Bettie Page?), here's a few more vintage Pope references (and more modern Pope here):


  1. Bolt has this criticism shtick about teh Left choosing "side over principle".

    So it's quite suprising how often Bolt changes his pricniples. Bolt lauds Abbott for speaking out against Turnbul policy as it gives voice to the LNP Right. Proves what a broad church it is.

    However when other back benchers speak out, this is now seen as a sign of disunity which needs to be reined in by a strong woman...

    On another note,

    Of course the plod waste those valuable first 48 hours of the investigation focusing on the Chinese. But we all know who the prime suspect should be.. This has Moorice written all over it.

    I expect raw non homogenized data to be leaked lickety split. Moorice will be held in reverence by deniers like the Left's Snowden and Assange. But obviously not as traitorous.

  2. Sophie Mirabella has earned a new nickname. The Queen of Mean. If the tiara fits, wear it.

    And as DP seems quite interestd in Personal Services, I recommend the film of the same name, starring the brilliant Julie Waters. It's funny as a barrelful of loons in a sock.

    Here's a taste.

  3. Please, please, Anon!!! Julie WALTERS!!

  4. Quite right the other anon. It was a slip of the finger. Apologies to the excellent Julie.

    But Holy Crap Batman! Ikea chests of drawers have killed as many people as pink batts! We need a Royal Commission into these secret Swedish jihadis infiltrating Northern Sydney. And they are called Malm! which sounds a bit Muslimy to me. And they're probably Halal.

    Quick, call Cory, Erica and George!

    1. And robin, those installing MTM are also suffering.

    2. Sounds like a case for Superbronnie. She can fly the witchcopter from Killara to Palm Beach to deal with these Sharia-loving death cultists before they booby-trap flat-pack bookshelves and murder our beloved Mr Toad. The fiends!

    3. My very elderly parents are still living reasonably independently, but unfortunately they live in Lake Macquarie, where the sub-standard NBN has been rolled out recently.

      They now have a VOIP phone which constantly cuts out during the conversation. So much for their (relative) independence. I told them to hope Labor got back in and fixed up the MTM (Malcolm Turnbull's Mess). Then we might be able to have a sensible conversation. Otherwise they might as well pack it in.

  5. Dear DP - can I give a plug? The Katering Show is the funniest thing I've seen on TV for ages (well its on iView which is sort of TV for nerds). But the Kates are funtastic. A bit like The Chaser on roids for foodies. Love it.

    1. Anybody can plug anything within reason. Plugging the Bolter on Sky is not within reason.

  6. Well yeah, Prince is dead which is sad as he was bloody great. But the mejaa have gone hysterical. Why splash the death of a pop singer over all the front pages as if Jesus fucking Christ has died?

    Anyway, a tribute nonetheless to a great musician.

    1. Channel 9 will be pissed as it has knocked the return of their child kidnappers off the top spot.


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