Sunday, April 17, 2016

Day 27, and the pond suddenly finds itself growing sea-monkeys and monsters thanks to the Bolter's rage ...

Now for any passing stray reader, who might wonder what this blog is all about, it isn't about the real world.

It's about the reptile commentariat, and so is inclined to the delusional.

Send the pond a link the NY Times writing a story about a legal battle over the sea-monkey fortune involving a former bondage queen and assorted other eccentrics - The Battle Over the Sea-Monkey Fortune - and the pond will go for it every time.

Who didn't look at the back page of comics and marvel and wonder?

They always went with other bits of silliness ...

Google sea-monkey images and the pond can guarantee you'll waste hours of precious life ...

But where were we?

That's right, off with Grabthar's hammer and the quest for revenge, and the lesser sea-monkeys, which is to say the Bolter and his ilk.

Straightaway, the Bolter was keen to announce that Bronnie had met her fate and his fallen champion had been avenged, and then he posed as some kind of vengeful political serial killer ...

Yes, beware, beware, the ides of Bolter are everywhere ...

Of course the trouble with this piquant notion is that the wrong man got up, as the Bolter was glumly forced to acknowledge.

Here's the Bolter looking at how the voting should go only a few short posts before ...

It made the pond wonder if the Bolter was as useless at politics as he is at sex in ancient Greece ...

Oh no, he mocked Tony Abbott!

If he's capable of that vile thought crime, there must be other vile thought crimes he's capable of ... 

He mocked Kevin Andrews too? 

Why that's the mocking MAMIL lycra-clad double ...

Next thing you know he'll be off to a NZ pub and try to ban the pair, as here ...

Well that's that pub's Warholian one minute of fame.

But what the pond found truly delightful is the way the Bolter raged at Falinski for the dangerous through crime of having anything to do with Greg Barners (Barns to his chums).

Yet such is the Bolter's fear and loathing of Malware that he'd turn to the likes of Phil Coorey at the AFR for an opinion at the drop of a hat or a link...

Well you can find Phil outside the AFR paywall for the moment here - they do so want to be a part of the conversation - but things have come to a pretty pass when the Bolter approvingly quotes Phil Coorey! Talk about a thought crime ...

In fact the Bolter will throw in anybody and anything - including but not limited to the Shanahan kitchen sink - to maintain the rage about Malware ...

Poor gloomy Bolter.

Deep down it's possible to suspect that he wouldn't mind a Shorten victory. The image of the Black Knight is hard to vanquish, the sort of self-lacerating and idle suffering that speaks of a deep, delusional narcissism and unhappiness.

Now others also find observing this sort of stuff compelling.

There's Jason Wilson in the Graudian with In defence of Abbott: for the 'delcons' electoral victory doesn't matter, as he marvelled at Miranda the Devine's narcissistic Jean d'Surry Hills routine ...

...It’s gone on from there with another Devine column, risibly illustrated with her as Joan of Arc on the stake. Self-dramatisation is the name of this game. You can expect it to go on longer: conflict drives clicks, the minor soap opera chimes with the Tele’s signature blend of frivolity and aggro, and in the absence of a beef, these folks struggle to find anything new to say. How much of it is WWE-style playfighting from people who work under the same masthead we’ll never know. In any case, the spat is most interesting as a sign of the cleavage in conservative ranks that these always-opportunistic hacks are playing to. The fact that they’re prepared to stake out their respective positions shows that there is a constituency for each. There’s ample evidence that Blair is right about an extensive rightwing contempt for Turnbull. You can find it expressed in the comments threads of News blogs, in high-membership Facebook groups such as “I stand with Cory Bernardi about halal certifications”, and on Twitter, where Turnbull has even been taunted by the rightwing rank and file as a “cuckservative”, a term of derision imported – just like every recent idea the Australian right has had – from US conservative politics, where it is used to describe Republicans not considered conservative enough. It combines the word “cuckold” and “conservative”.

Well you don't have to look that far. You just have to look at the Bolter to see fear and loathing made manifest.

And though 'cuckservative' doesn't seem to have turned up on the Bolter yet, how long before it does?

It perfectly expresses everything that's silly about conservative politics, especially the American kind. There's the old territorial imperative and the missus having a mind of her own and all the other usual paranoias of the angry white male ...

Such silly people, and the pond offers a penny - or at least high praise, adulation and simpering fawning - for the first sighting of "cuckservative" on the pages of the Bolter or other members of the reptile commentariat ...

Each piece the Bolter scribbles is full of suppurating rage about Malware and his betrayal and his lickspittle fellow travellers that the pond senses only an immense act of will stays his fingers on the keyboard as he begins to pound out "cuck" ... or will it be his loyal tribe who do the deed as a classic "cuck" hovers into range?

Well the Bolter's got his answer, which will only feed his sense of rage and betrayal ...

And yet didn't Tony Abbott help kill is mother in a sordid case of political matricide?

Never mind, time to help out the reptiles and get on with the task at hand ... got to keep cultivating the clicks and what better way to do it than this?

Coming next week, the Devine versus the Bolter, the cage match of the century, as the two monsters battle it out in your very own living room ...


  1. Jason Wilson: "Self-dramatisation is the name of this game."

    Yep, they no longer report or analyse the news, they have, fulfilling their wildest dreams of self-dramatization, become the news.

    At least they have in their own little minds in their own little world. Talk about growing monsters in your own room, DP, what did we do to deserve this plague of locusts ?

    1. Of course they're the news. They must be, to wit, the ABC.

    2. No! SBS are tops!

  2. I miss the subtle 1950's sexual innuendo of Mandrake the Magician.


  3. "Minister for Desk Toys and Paper Cuts, Mr Kevin Andrews"


    I like the cut of this man's jib.

    I like it muchly.

  4. God 60 minutes are desperate and pathetic. Now they're replaying Beaconsfield while ignoring their crew in gaol in Lebanon for child kidnapping. A ten year old coffin-follower story?


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