Monday, April 04, 2016

Day 14, and with one of the world's great climate scientists and erotic novelists biting the dust, all that's left is the creamy centre of an Oreo biscuit ...


The pond is in deep mourning this day.

No, not Bob Ellis, but Dennis Jensen, the noble savage of Western Australian politics, the hero of climate scientist around the world, the novelist not afraid to massage small, soft brown breasts or excitedly rip off underpants and feel the warm wetness with his hand, done down by dirty tricks.

Oh they were out there in force mocking the warrior, at SBS comedy, at the hypothetical Graudian, but here was another pond favourite slain and what do we have now? Just a back room party man, an apparatchik, blathering about a disciplined message and rousing the Nationals to a fury each year:

“Ben Morton criticising @TheNationalsWA is like being hit with a wet lettuce leaf thrown underarm from a great distance,” Nationals MLC Paul Brown replied to one ofInside State ’s tweets reporting Morton’s remarks on the Liberal-Nationals relationship. (here)

That's it, that's all that's left for the pond in the west? An underarm wet lettuce leaf?

Well at least the noble savage is promising to sue the reptiles and the rag for the leak, which should continue to provide some modest morsels of fun ...

Meanwhile, the reptiles are still in a state of confusion and shock at the start of the new week.

Over at the Terrorists, the mockery continued apace, with the Bolter still clinging to his obsessive fear and loathing of Malware and his manly love for the wall puncher ...


Because Abbott is so loved ...


(the rest here).

And little Timmeh - you say Timmeh, the pond still loves Timmie - was out and about with a jolly jape ...


At least there are still a couple of top-notch climate scientists left at the Daily Terror ...

But the reptiles of Oz were bifurcated, split in their hopes ...


It seems the reptiles have decided that the best way forward is for the multimillionaire, who splashed out a lazy 130k to bring the Lodge up to the luxury standards he expects, to begin lecturing voters on how they must live within their means, and if they didn't get their means and stash them in a nice tax haven like all the best players around the world, why then stiff cheddar ...

The reptile editorialist was firm that sackcloth and ashes must be donned ... 


After all, what if someone demanded that News Corp pay taxes? Why that would be an appalling economic reality ...


The bouffant one was singing the same redemptive song. There was still hope ...


If only Dennis was still around, so that the famous lines "he was free, and with a leap and a bound, he scooped up Diana in his arms and dashed into the skull cave to live within his means ..."


Of course it wouldn't be a good day if the reptiles hadn't worked on their scheme to provide employment for Japanese workers ...



But still there were doubters, sceptics and scoffers, befuddled by the new messiah's adept moves.

Now it was understandable that the Swiss bank account man would take a view ... a few excerpts from him show the cut of his sniping jib ...


But as always the pond has reserved a special treat for the last bit, and this day it's another Oreo ...


Now there are a few cynics who say that Oreo biscuits are addictive and harmful ...

A small new study suggests the brain responds to Oreo cookies quite like it responds to actual drugs – at least if you’re a rat. The “pleasure center” of the brain, the nucleus accumbens, apparently gets just as activated in response to Oreos as it does to cocaine and morphine, which could actually have some major public health implications. While the study was done in rats, the authors say it’s likely relevant to humans as well, and could explain why people have such a hard time resisting eating an entire sleeve of the cookies. The study, which will be presented at the Society for Neuroscience’s annual conference next month, also made another discovery: Rats, like humans, like to eat Oreo’s creamy center first. (here, with forced entry ad)

Oh there are all sorts of people who clamber on to the high fat high sugar, useless calories bandwagon, but the pond finds an Oreo early in the day is a sure way to clear the brain and enter a state of meditative bliss.

So here's the challenge for the solitary pond reader that's made it to this point.

Can you last until the very end of this shaggy dog Oreo to find the irresistible cream centre which will hook your brain?

There's much hard work to be done in the maze first ...


Yes, yes, but we could have got all that by reading the Bolter and little Timmeh. Everyone knows that Malware had a difficult week ... and while this analysis is a fine example of waffle, it's not the creamy bit ...

Where's that cream centre, the cocaine hit of pure waffle?

There it is, there's the creamy centre, perfect in every meaningless, empty calory, perfectly formed high sugar high fat way ...

Turnbull must live up to his own standards by translating ­political ideas into a practical ­policy agenda that can be sold to a nation weary of politicians ­elevating self-­interest over the ­national interest.

A sentence, a prescription, totally void of substance, but rich in cliche, in a practical policy agenda way, that can be sold to a tribe of reptile readers never weary of the vacuous spouting dribble in the national interest ....

Only day 14 in the thousand mile march and already the going is getting tough, and now there's no Jensenist or wall puncher to provide relief ... time perhaps for a Rowe cartoon instead, with more Rowe here ...




6 comments:

  1. Within our means? Why, Yes, Yes, Yes, DP, as ScoMo is so breathlessly expurgating on radio right now. The cry goes up "Blame Gillard!".
    To add to the idiocy, here's Brian Toohey at AFR -
    Morrison lets Defence treat Treasury as an ATM, giving it a 6 per cent real increase in spending this year and an extraordinary list of complex new procurement projects that have almost no hope of being delivered on time or budget. It would not hurt Australia's defence capability to defer delivery of the trouble-plagued F-35 jet fighters until they meet performance standards, and cut maintenance costs from what the Pentagon has described as "unaffordable" levels.
    What!? I thought Bob Ellis was dead, already.

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  2. "Luke Warm Sex" is the unfunniest programme on TV. Why did the ABC commission this? MacDonald is dire.

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  3. At last, it's back! Oh, how I've missed "the Narrative", that meaningless term so beloved by the Press Gallery. There it is not once, but twice, in a single Reptorial. Surely that must be the work of Pompous Pilate Kelly - he always loved to demand a "Narrative" of a Prime Minister.

    I'm a bit puzzled, though, at Richo's reference to there being a lot of smart people in the Government. I can only assume that he's using the term in the sense of "well-dressed" or "nicely turned out" - he surely can't be referring to intelligence. Even then, things aren't that much clearer; for the most part I see a government made up mostly of lumps in bad suits and worse haircuts or mutton dressed up as lamb (or perhaps off-cuts dressed up as mutton) - and no, I'm not being gender-specific.

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    Replies
    1. Cool down, Bob's ghost. Nothing about that lot that wouldn't be greatly improved by judicious work on eyebrows. See Peta's stylist, at your earliest. (I'm hoping, sincerely, she's not gone DIY.)

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  4. Only ScoMo in his evangelical zeal could turn the other cheek (and he turns all four in terrier like prancing) while never ceasing to extol the virtues of growth, "PTL, growth" despite the utter intellectual dissonance of "living within our means" while excluding our impact on the environment! It takes a particular type of religious zealot to be that blind.

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  5. "If the government can hold the austerity line, it will be a good result irrespective of intent"

    Because it's worked so well everywhere else, doncha know.

    https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Austerity
    " A historical example in which austerity measures failed was in the aftermath of the Great Recession, where many European countries implemented such policies: unemployment rose to higher levels and debt-to-GDP ratios increased, despite reductions in budget deficits(relative to GDP)."

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