Wednesday, March 23, 2016

Day 2, and Dame Slap rides to the rescue ...

(Above: as noted by a correspondent, the pond is proud to be an Australian with a sensa huma, just like our Malware PM).

Each day the pond spends agonising nanoseconds pondering over the wealth of choices the reptiles of Oz offer up for consideration.

There's 'Ned' Kelly trying to do the right thing by Malware ...

And look at this flurry of floozies, lined up in a row like green bottles waiting for a singalong ...

Is there any wonder that the pond will always revert to a safe pair of hands, though it might raise as many questions as it might resolve?

Come down, Dame Slap, sock it to us with a plea for small-l liberalism ...

Yes, 'tis passing wondrous, since this very day, the pond has noted the prophet Moorice berating the liberals who have ruined Canberra and crucified the messiah, yet here is Dame Slap welcoming a couple of liberals to the table ... and even worse, celebrating classic liberalism.

Please, if you missed Moorice's impassioned plea, allow the pond to remind you ...

Of course there might be a question of definition here. Moorice might be referring to Oswald Mosley as his font of liberal inspiration.

And some might wonder how the IPA and its brood became the font of liberalism, as opposed to a front for big tobacco and climate denialism.

Who knows what liberal with a small l might mean, all we can do is turn back to Dame Slap for exposition, and explanation ...

The dignity of work?!

That sounds dangerously Marxist, though after her many years down coal mine working at pit head with only canary and candle for comfort, is there any wonder that Dame Slap is in such a good position to celebrate the dignity of work?

As for the revelation that only 15 courses covered British history, how appalling ... especially as China really hasn't advanced much since the days that the British exposed it to the best of British civilisation courtesy of the Opium Wars, to say nothing of the civilisation that the British introduced to India ...yes the Jallianwala Bagh massacre and other great massacres really showed the Indians how to do a post-independence massacre in style ... (follow the links at the bottom for more truly civilised massacres).

But enough of frivolous British history, lest the pond's Irish parentage pop up like a spoof St Patrick's day song on Colbert, because we must pause to admire the wondrous hagiography perpetrated by the learned book-reading George and applauded by Dame Slap. 

"Single-handedly reshaped the human rights debate in Australia."

Is there nothing the IPA can't do? Single-handedly reshape things for the benefit of big tobacco, single-handedly reshape climate science and the CSRIO ... and single-handedly reshape the human rights debate too ... and at such a minor cost in terms of a government salary ...

Indeed, indeed, we have to do better than this, and all this talk of threats and feeling threatened is extremely problematic, and so why not turn to Tony Abbott to elevate the debate and show the Liberal party the way forward ...

Oh dear, not threatened ... will he be a bit skittish around the small-l liberals?

Pace Dame Slap, what the Liberal party needs is more quality candidates like Tony Abbott and Ross Cameron ... talk about a man who understands the sanctity of traditional marriage ...

What we need are more visionaries of the Cameron kind to help reform the Liberal party and turn things around ...

And it's not just his business and his marriage sense, it's his generally splendid visions ...

Now all the above can be found by googling, and the plan can also be found here at Fairfax.

It's simple really: bring in some Chinese coolies to do the hard yards at the fraction of the cost of local riff-raff, and while they're here, get them to fling up at least 150 skyscrapers, prefabricated in China, and oh, while they're at it, turn Fort Denison into a cruise passenger terminal connected to the mainland via a tunnel ...

Why they might even prove handy in reforming the Liberal party ... they'd know how to get the job done cheaply ...

And so yet again the pond owes Dame Slap a deep personal debt for reminding it of the wall-punching, threatened visionaries that currently make up the best of the Liberal party's august NSW party ...

Why it makes the IPA seem mainstream, and perhaps that's the point of the hagiography ...

And now, as a pre-election service, the pond would like to draw your urgent attention to deserving candidates to whom attention should be paid ...


  1. Erin Gloria Ryan is very naughty. She should do one on Our Mal.

  2. "It was people who called themselves liberals who helped emancipate slaves". Well, some of them might have called themselves that (among many other things) , but if the IPA had been around in the 19th Century it would have been happily pushing the cause of Big Slavery, and would have done so right up until the final abolition of the trade. Come to think of it, I'm surprised they haven't started openly advocating it now.

    Still, Dame Slap is quite correct when she states that "there are no passengers at the IPA". Too right - passengers actually pay their own way, unlike those coddled parasites.

  3. The footer is missing but did the same disclose she is a director of the IPA?

    1. Steady Anon, steady, what need of a footer to disclose a a conflict of interest when your job is to make the world safe western civilisation. She does however disclose in the text that she's a director of the IPA. The pond understands and sympathises if your eyes glazed over before reaching this point ...

      You might have enjoyed this comment however ...

      It looks like the Liberal party is intent on becoming a haven for right wing ideology as seen by the input of IPA endorsements.No doubt this is right up Janet's alley..

  4. I'd suggest The (Old) Slapper used the wrong word.

    Surely it should be "cache" -

    1.a collection of items of the same type stored in a hidden or inaccessible place.

  5. Who is supposed to be depicted in that cartoon that accompanies the Dame's golden prose? Is it a generic caricature of a lumpen, deadweight Parliamentarian (as opposed to a lithe, heroic young IPA champion), or is supposed to be somebody specific? I must admit that at first glance I wondered if it was Peta Credlin, but surely she'd be portrayed as either Wonder Woman or Joan of Arc.....

    1. Reminds me of Jacqui Lambie, Anon.

  6. Or Sarah Hanson-Young? The character is dressed in green.

  7. Sorry Moorice - Did Karl Marx really say, "Remove one freedom per generation and soon you will have no freedom - and no one will have noticed"?

    No, certainly not. Marx thought that when a society became productive enough to meet the needs of all its members, that would lead to a great increase in human freedom--starting with freedom from hunger

    1. But not in western industrialised countries where his later view was that the one percenter class would always rebound to keep top down rule. Hence ideas about cultural Marxism and "the long march".

  8. Oh dear. Arfur's been caught with his hands in the till again. Where's Terry when he's needed?

  9. "Ever dreamed about swiping right on Tinder and getting matched with Bernie Sanders or Ted Cruz? Now's your chance."


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