Wednesday, January 20, 2016

She's baaack ...



It was, of course, a tease of the pond not to include Dame Slap in the initial outing for the day, but the pond believes that Dame Slap is far too important to be lumped in with the likes of the Oz editorialist, the bromancer and the Terrorist egg beaters ...

Instead we must celebrate Dame Slap warming to the notion of teh Donald.

This does, of course, follow an important papal missive from the Chairman ... well, it seems, pace the bromancer, that we must now talk of secular papal pronouncements, and who better to do that than Il Papa?


Now it takes Dame Slap awhile to get there - much foreplay time must be spent demonising teh Islamics before we get to teh Donald, but get there we surely will ...

Firstly let's get stuck into the demonisation, and perhaps we could have an illustration of teh Donald as a necessary and engagingly charming gargoyle for starters ...


Indeed, indeed. No doubt it was scary stuff, frightening and humiliating. It reminded the pond of the time a decade ago, standing amongst Roman antiquities, when it was molested by gypsies ... the favourite trick was to send in the children and the women folk, and then having got the victim flustered with the feeling up and the intrusion into genital spaces, to do the thieving ... but it seems all this is now just newly minted, and needing to be faithfully reproduced as a Dame Slap warning to naive travellers ...

There is of course another point to all this fear, and these alarums, what the pond knew once as a "slow build", so first there must be a little more slow building, with consternation building at the contemplation of wicked, evil, strange looking people of the "other" kind ...


Of course, the authorities might have been worried by the notion that extreme right wing members of the commentariat might use the occasion to demonise and conflate refugees and criminals and provoke hysterics using graphic imagery and cheap shots.

Thankfully none of this happened, as can be seen by reading Dame Slap's invitation for everyone to keep calm and carry on ...

And happily, at the end of the harrowing tale, we needed an expert paranoid of the Dame Slap kind to join all the dots, even if the dots are confused and contradictory ...

Like the dictatorial gay lobby that mocks any opposition to gay marriage as homophobic, which strangely, puts Dame Slap in the very same company as the dictatorial fundamentalist Islamic lobby that mocks any support of gay marriage as against the will of Allah ...

And scientists might wonder how the gropings, assaults and thieving in Colognie are suddenly joined by magical dots to a contemplation of the alleged activities of climate change zealot who ridicule those who ask questions about climate models that have proved inaccurate, and claims of climate destruction that haven't transpired and emails that pointed to collusion and misrepresentation among climate academics ...

But that's the wonder of it all, that's the marvel of the known universe. These wretches would be missing the entiree point, because once Dame Slap gets the bit between her teeth, and goes off in a barking mad rant, a furious, foaming frenzy of indignation, everything and anything is fair game ... and all the dots can be joined together.

The pond likes to think of this as stream of consciousness. Apparently Kerouac wrote On the Road on a continuous roll of toilet paper - well, maybe not - but Dame Slap prefers a continuous roll of digital dottiness on her reptile keyboard ...

All the chips on the shoulder are put on parade, and before you know it, the aged news about Cologne is forgotten and soon enough we'll be on to how the United Nations is using climate science to institute a world government that will be politically correct, or at least insist on the censorship of Enid Blyton ...

The fiends!

What have they got against Dame Slap? How dare they turn her into Dame Snap!!

Slapping's what she does, and a good slap never hurt anyone!


Don't give the pond or Dame Slap any of that simpering niceness Connie! The United Nations is installing a world government! You must all work hard to stop it! (Oh and keep the tree safe from those wicked goblins...)


Oh dear, the pond lost it for a moment, and just when we were coming to the crucial bit, about how teh Donald might be the first, necessary, preliminary step towards a new era ...


Yes, you see Connie, all that niceness by wretched kindly types like you and everyone else in the PC crowd has created Donald Trump. You might not agree with what he says Connie, but if that's the case, you need a bloody good spanking.

You silly, foolish girl, it's all your fault that teh Donald has risen in the United States, because it's really refreshing for Dame Slap to listen to the twittering of her master, and also to listen to a bloke who won't have a bar of the myriad political correctness filters applied to every field of life ...

Because let's face it, Mexicans and fundamentalist Islamics are right on board with the climate science agenda ...

Now of course it would be completely inappropriate and remiss of the pond to remember the grand old days when sundry members of the German commentariat welcomed the fresh thinking and clear-eyed insights of Herr Schicklgruber as refreshing, and invigorating, and full of common sense, and yadda yadda until the cows come home to the reich ...

Of course Herr Schicklgruber had a thing about the Jews, but no doubt he would be flexible and capable of adjusting to the current political trends, and join Dame Slap in demonising refugees and the strange looking and the weird and the alien, and get stuck into those Blyton-hating gay climate scientists ...

No doubt he would love to berate the cults that draw believers from the elites, as opposed to the common people scribbling common sense about how the United Nations is using climate science to arrange for a world government ...

What a joy that she's baaaccckkk .... and now she's got a new hero ...

No, not this one ...


This one, peddling the common sense that blitzes the foolish elites ...


No, no, no, sweet cartoonist of Dr Albrechtsen's monster, to be fair, it was Connie and Enid Blyton and climate scientists that created him ...

So what company is Dame Slap keeping these days?


Now some might blame John McCain and his ill-advised campaign, and the tea party, but the pond joins with Dame Slap in heartily blaming the gays and the climate scientists and the elites. You know who you are... perhaps you even get handsomely funded and work in a bunker in Surry Hills ...

Oh and thanks NY Times for the tip, and a chance to check out the NBN in the pond's area. Trust the pond, it's better in your area ...


13 comments:

  1. Hi Dorothy,

    Nice to see that Albrechtsen has returned from her summer break with her bile gland fully recharged. In order celebrate I enclose this;

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ljv8xCt4Bq8

    Bit of a tribute too.

    DW

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  2. It begins "To fully understand ...", and as though anointed with Truth, I fully understood without reading another word.

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    1. Sensible decision. I'm still reeling.

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  3. Modern PC isn't anywhere near as recent as Dame Slap likes to pretend - it was, of course, in full swing back in the good ol' daze when conservatives ruled the roost and controlled what was allowed to be said in public. I recall a couple of prime examples.

    Firstly it was totally un-PC to mention suicide. So a whole lot of fatalities would be coronially declared to be "Death by misadventure" so the evil suicide word never had to be mentioned. Which led to a widespread belief that Sweden had the world's highest suicide rate when what really was the case was that the Swedes were honest enough to call their fatalities suicides.

    When "honesty in reporting" finally came to Oz, it was found that our suicide rate was higher that Sweden's. But Dame Slap was only a gleam in daddy's eyes back then.

    Secondly was the police purge of any rude words said audibly in public - as well as any titillating exhibitionism, of course. Police regularly attended plays etc. to issue warrants against transgressors. Until one day when the police brought a case into court charging that the players were trying to cause sexual arousal.

    To which, IIRC, the judge replied to the policeman in the court: "And what's wrong with that ? If it hadn't been for sexual arousal you wouldn't be standing here before me today." That ended the police anti-sex campaign. So it goes.

    So, of course, PC is now, and always has been, universal, and Dame Slap and her mates and fellow minions are just as happy to enforce their own PC as to blame "the Left" for practicing an alternate brand.

    [Oh dear, am I being too reasonable again, DP ? What can I do to cure this awful disease ?]

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    1. GB, your mention of police attending plays, etc reminds me of my attendance at "Hair" in Sydney, 1969.

      For those not familiar with Hair, there is a nude scene (full frontal) at the end. "Nude scene" is perhaps a generous description as all it meant was the players lined up in the nude for a minute, or so.

      I went along with my girlfriend and must admit to some unease as to how I'd measure up but happy to report par for the course....

      If I remember correctly the nude scene was initially allowed to go ahead provided the players stood still. That was considered "art" not whatever moving nude people would be called.

      I distinctly remember a couple of uniformed coppers standing at the back of the theatre. No doubt ready to arrest any nude movers.

      Them were the days....

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    2. Oh yes, the days of 'statuesque' nudity - I remember them well. In the good old days of (Sir) Arthur Rylah who was Henry Bolte's Chief Censor who wouldn't let his teenage daughter (which he didn't actually have one of) read Lady Chatterley's Lover and thus nobody else in Victoria could read it either.

      But the naked 'statues' were a feature of the old Tivoli Theatre for many a year, though I think they weren't fully naked (a 'fig leaf' down below).

      And yes, Hair was one of those events that slowly started to change things - though it wasn't Hair that was the subject of my anecdote (which really did happen and I wish my fading memory could come up with the name of the actual show).

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    3. Yes, GB you are shockingly stricken with reasonableness and it seems totally incurable, but at least you offer the chance for the pond to boast that it danced on the stage at a staging of Hair at the old Metro theatre, ruined by Kennedy Miller appropriating it for movies ... but by that time Anon, the nude dancers were moving with lascivious abandon ...

      And yes GB the pond routinely chortles at the way these days conservatives abhor PC and celebrate secular liberalism, as if they invented it, while adopting attitudes - on gay marriage, for example - which reminds the pond of their ancient censoring ways and keeps them aligned with the Taliban ...

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    4. Youthful cavorting and mature Loon Pond - what a glorious exemplar you are, DP. You've got my vote for Person of the Year ... err, we do get a vote, don't we ?

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  4. Is Albrechtsen praying in that header shot? To whom, I wonder?

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  5. Ahem . . .

    The pockmarks of political correctness are too numerous to count. But their cumulative effect is clear. More than three decades of political correctness is suffocating liberty in the West. The next outcome is equally obvious: if you join the dots between each episode of political correctness, you end up with the unmistakeable image of Tony — or the faces of other right-wing populists whose electoral appeal is on the rise from Austria to Denmark, Finland to Hungary and more.

    Those who write off Tony, and other right-wing populists, as nut-jobs and their supporters as hothead members of the forgotten middle class are only half right. The stifling imposition of political correctness by the political, media and cultural elite has created the Tony spectacle.

    After years of trying to reason, even debate, with a PC crowd that brooks no disagreement, Tony sticks it up them. People may not agree with every stupid or insulting thing Tony says, but maybe they are liberated by a politician who says what he wants. After years of being told what to think, what to say, what not to say, it’s ­refreshing to listen to a bloke who won’t have a bar of the myriad political correctness filters applied to every field of life.

    The shame is that the vacuum created by political correctness is being filled by a man who is not fit to be PM. But maybe the rise of Tony is a necessary first step, a clumsy one to be sure, but one that precedes the rise one day of more sensible leaders who understand the cult of political correctness is not a centrist phenomenon. While the cult draws believers from the elites, most ordinary people want more, not less, freedom to think and speak. It’s not called common sense for nothing.

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    1. Hi Ahem,

      Well done satirising Dame Slap's rant and her embracing of the nutters who think Trump is on their side.

      DW

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  6. Can't ... quite ... restrain rage at notion of nasty evil gays stifling liberty and freedom of speech. Trying to scoff and laugh at Albrechtsen's silliness, but this one just sticks in the proverbial craw too much.

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