Friday, January 22, 2016

Perving on the lumpensexuals, or watching the parrots squawk in unison? There's always a cornucopia of Murdochians at the pond ...

And the pond is with the Murdochians on a daily basis, but let's get one important bit of business out of the way first ...

There is absolutely no way that the pond will ever type the word 'lumpensexual' or allow the word 'lumpensexual' to appear anywhere within this blog ...

Oh sorry, that was 'lumbersexual', and anybody who thinks that 'deso' refers to anything but desert boots has no right to make a captain's call regarding the word of the year ... (ABC it here).

But we'll get to the sex objects later. First to the panic and alarums.

Naturally, given the news about the world getting a tad warmer, and in the absence of the pre-eminent climate scientist Maurice Newman and in view of the barely acknowledged death of Bob Cater, the pond rushed off to hear what the world's greatest climate scientist had to say about it all.

What do you know, the preening bludger is still on holydays and is off to New Zealand, leaving behind a mysterious and coded message about his future.

This in turn led to fear and panic amongst the few who bothered to respond, centred on the Bolter's chatter about having learnt an extraordinary amount of hugely important information ... by actually talking to Aboriginal activists ... but being unable to talk about it until the doc is screened."

"Sorry to sound so vague. But my word is my word."

Because gaining any sense of reality amongst the flat earthers is always a kind of cold war "turning" ...  (yes of course the pond read the Graudian's Flat-Earthers are back: It's almost like the beginning of a new religion' - these are the pond's people, the pond is only really at home and comfortable with the barking mad and the conspiracy theory crazies. Blame that on the lizard people if you will).

There were other anxieties and concerns ...

Turned ... and gagged! Oh you wicked, wicked ABC cardigan wearers you ...

One thoughtful correspondent suggested the Bolter head off to the IPA and a chance to go into matters in greater depth, and no doubt there's a good career in explaining why smoking might actually be good for you, but as a result of all this, the pond's hopes for an elaborate explanation of why NASA, the Met and thousands of scientists were wrong will have to wait for another day ... or for Maurice...

There's still hope while there's a Maurice to quash the insufferable triumphalism of the Peter Hannams of the world and their Rising global temperatures: when will climate change deniers throw in the towel ... (with forced video).

No need to throw in the towel ... why it's going to be a sunny twenty degrees in Christchurch this very day ...

So the pond gave up and turned in the usual way to what it has begun to think of as the Daily Hagiographer, in association with the Daily Parrot ...

Now there were a few of the usual predictable outings for what is always a dull Friday, even in peak periods, let alone the lull before the Australia Day storm.

The Swiss bank account man was in good form deploring Clive, a noble piece considering all that the Swiss bank account man had done for the average working class Joe and Josephine, by sitting down for thirty pieces of silver to have a chat with the parrot and pocketing the Chairman's brass...

Got to keep the tills turning over and tinkling ...

And there were other little outbursts of a predictable kind ...

Just the sort of thing you might expect of a man whose family emigrated from Hungary to Canada after the failed 1956 uprising, and a saucy lad who headed off to the UK for a tidy academic job.

Furedi is one of those barking mad Spiked mob, a reformed student leftist and co-founder of the Revolutionary Communist Party, who perfectly illustrates the pond's thesis that anyone who starts off in one extremist position, is likely to swing, like an Edgar Allan Poe pendulum, to another extremist position ... and never manage a jot or a whit of sense or humanity along the entire fundamentalist arc (as you can confirm by Greg Hunting him here).

You see, it's entirely one thing for the chosen elect to move around the world on a whim and a fancy and for resolute ideological purposes but entirely another matter for people - dare we say it - not of the chosen European elite ...

But back to the Daily Hagiographer, published in association with the Daily Parrot ...

Here's the Oz editorialist this day, fulfilling the hagiographic obligation ...

Oh sorry, the pond forgot to hand out the kool aid required before reading this sort of encomium ...

Now anybody with half a clue, and understanding how alternative history works, might think that in the alternative world of an ongoing alternative Abbott universe - a kind of 4D man - it would be entirely reasonable to suggest that Abbott would have said 'yes' to the American request.

In fact, Abbott was notorious for requesting to the Americans that they make a request, and so Malware saying 'no' is actually a significant departure from the old days.

But the reptiles live in their very own alternative universe.

Those with memory issues might imagine that a monkey had chopped up the bromancer's piece from yesterday, fed it into the reptile machine, and come up with this elegant variation.

This becomes clear enough when we reach the Daily Parrot section, where the Oz editorialist simply repeats everything their commentariat scribbler had said the day before, with a ritual 'hiss boo' at the ABC ...

The pond came away from this tired hackery thinking that the reptiles were still mentally in New Zealand, waiting for the holiday period to end ...

Or else those joint sessions standing around the water cooler scoffing down the kool aid must really have started to pick up under the new management ...

Perhaps things will pick up, perhaps in due course they'll stop parroting and repeating each other, over and over in some kind of time loop, perhaps one day the pond will even get its answer to all those troubling questions about climate science ..

Will there be a reptile opinion piece patiently explaining how the ABC's flagship 7.30 program used the tired old Turnbull versus Tony Abbott prism to contort the vital message about climate change into implicit criticism of Mr Abbott?

The reptiles and Mr Abbott and Maurice having been such valiant exponents of climate science all along ... and let's not forget the Bolter, off in the land of the haka:

Let us propel us for the frey of the fray! Us, us, beraddy!
Ko Niutirenis hauru leish! A lala! 
Ko Niutirenis haururu laleish! Ala lala! 
The Wullingthund sturm is breaking. 
The sound of maormaoring 
As the heat goes surging and no ice is making
The Wellingthund sturm waxes fuercilier. (here, apologies to James Joyce and Māori people)

And so to the lumpensexual centrefold for the week, thanks to Rowe, and more Rowe here ...

Naturally this reminded the pond, as Rowe had intended, of another great pin-up. 

No, not the gold bikini thing in the f/g, the lumpensexual behind her, flipped to keep the visual symmetry...

And in view of recent news - no, the pond never read Cleo, nor did it read Playboy, especially for the articles - this reminded the pond of the good old lumbersexual days ...

... which became this in Queensland ...

Speaking of conservatives following the edicts of the Taliban ...

And let's not forget Germaine Greer's brief squeeze and hubbie, also flipped to keep the visual symmetry ...

There you go, lumbersexuals ... you're welcome, because anything is better than reading Frank Furedi and watching parrots sky high on cherry blossoms squawking in unison ...


  1. Don't forget this little masterpiece (Stan Lee) :

  2. I see Latham has joined forces with little Timmeh to scream at the frightbats. Attacking Rosie Batty and calling domestic violence a 'coping mechanism' he must now be frontrunner in the shit of the year competition.

    1. The rwnj's really don't like Rosie; they say appallingly stupid things about her and how it's all her fault.

      It's quite interesting really to speculate on what is about her response to the tragedy of having one's child killed so brutally by his so-called 'father' who of course was a good bloke who just loved his son to death.

      What coping mechanisms is Rosie allowed for this tragedy? Is she just sposed to resume her life as if nothing happened?

      Latham the loser focuses on the metropolitan 'leets, the women that Abbott described as women of calibre or something like that but Rosie is speaking up for the regional non elite women who are used as coping mechanisms and punching bags all the time and have been and will be for as long as the patriarchy puts up with men like Latham making excuses for themselves and blaming the womenz.

      Did Adam do that to Eve?

    2. Christ, Abbott was bad enough, but we really dodged a bullet when that prick didn't get elected.
      Rosie Batty goes up in my estimation every time guys like this go after her. And she of all people shouldn't have to put up with that shit.

  3. Link, Anony ?

    Yeah, Latham has had some enormous attack of hostility towards Rosie batty for some time. If iit wasn't for the fact that Latham is such an unreconstructed fruitbat, I might even be curious as to why ... then again, maybe not.

    1. Speculating wildly, it seems possible that the special hostility Rosie gets from the glibertarians is because she is said to be making lots of money from her loss. That is a sin apparently for a bereaved woman although something to be admired from anyone else who overcomes the bad things life throws at them and I strongly doubt that she is raking it in at all.

      It may be that the basis of the hostility from conservatives on the other hand is that they think a good woman would wear sackcloth and ashes and not go around telling people her story becos it is shameful to air your dirty linen in public don't you know.

      Latham is a neo-conservatives who pretends to be a lefty, so he hates her for both of the above reasons.

    2. It's the same as with teh gays and teh blacks, Anon. We think they're sweet and have a place, just as long as they don't start getting uppity.

  4. There is actually a rat bag far right site baesed in Australia that amongst it's many crazy articles off hate and gloom gives credence to the smoking is good for you. One resident hater and crackpot who goes by two names Emille Zola (yes really) and Jack Richards often posts re it's great effects. Warning the site is vile as and an example of their pro smoking crap can be seen here.

    Any attempt to bring sense to the site is met with ridicule, threats and vitriol.

    1. "...smoking is good for you..."

      Oh silly me, for a minute or two I thought you were talking about the IPA.

  5. GB - here's one, and there are many more, some claiming he has a mental disorder.

    1. Thanks. The more I think about, the more I think that either Latham is Australia's one-man (verbal) Charlie Hebdo (that "coping strategy" crack is very "ironical"), or that he is really one very sick little boy.

      Or both of the above, of course. I wonder what his wife and kids think, and I wonder what is reflected back onto them (if anything).

    2. I think he's more line Australia's Charlie Sheen.

    3. I almost thought Latham might qualify as the Ozzie Hitchens - same angry arsehole view of the world and all who ride on it - except that Latham at least pretends to like his kids, whereas Hitchens just couldn't have little enough to do with his.

      Besides, on his better days (drunk or sober), Hitchens could actually write whereas I regard Latham's output as being much of a muchness with the banal, plebeian junk that Charlie Hebdo produces.

  6. I seem to recall Latham using taxi drivers as coping mechanisms as well


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