Saturday, January 09, 2016

Is it time to stop the unsustainable House of Murdoch welfare?

Thank the long absent lord, photoshop skills remain alive in the House of Murdoch, up there with the House of Mouse ...

But enough of parochial matters, because the pond was wildly titillated to hear that free copies of the lizard Oz were being handed out at Town Hall station.

It was suggested this might be the final act in a bizarre business plan, but the pond prefers to think of it as the path to enlightenment.

Ah! Summer grasses!
All that remains 
Of the warriors' dreams ... (there's some nice Basho in a pdf here)

Let's face it, where else would you get this sort of wise political advice at the top of the opinion page?

What spiffing advice! A boys' own adventure for the Nats all on their own ...

Meanwhile, as sure as Major Bloodnok would produce an explosive musical fart after eating a decent Indian curry, so we can be sure that Brendan O'Neill will be on hand for his own reliable brand of scribbling:

On second thoughts, the pond is inclined to be disappointed with this splash.  It really should have read something like "Flirtation with neo-fascist Nazi authoritarianism a sure sign of the end of the world, and the return of Adolf Hitler, and we only have women to blame. Don't blush, you vile harridan witches."

Of course over at Fairfax, its war with Gayle continues ...

Here's hoping that if and when the action proceeds, everyone has listened to the story of Oscar and Bosie over the break ... (as you still can here). Moral of the story, things can get messy when they end up in court, and women should stop dreaming about a Heathcliff in their lives ... you might end up with Brendan O'Neill.

But enough of frivolous fun - judging by pond's uproarious comments, everyone's having exceptional fun during the silly season - because the reptiles have a major problem which requires urgent attention ...

How astonishingly generous of them ... who else would have dared to draw attention to the burden facing the federal government?

That story's outside the AFR paywall here, but the pond couldn't understand how the House of Murdoch was a tax risk, when there's absolutely no risk that the reptiles would pay any tax at all ...

Naturally, the wags have been having a field day ...

Oh wait, sorry, the pond got it all wrong. That reptile editorial was in support of its top of the digital page report about the real welfare crisis...

Well of course it's unsustainable. What next? A demand that multinationals pay tax? When will these sorts of outrages end? Cue explosive musical Bloodnok fart ...

But as always in the silly season, the pond turns to a reliable old hand, a safe pair of hands, for the very best of holiday reading. It's not just Dame Slap who can deliver the goods, there's always prattling Polonius, who's been singing this song since the dawn of time, or at least since the time of that six thousand year old meteorite that was recently found ... oh come on, let's not start blathering about 4.5 billion years, the next thing you'll be wondering why the bible refused to acknowledge the dinosaurs ... what right-thinking camel herder would have anything to do with a dino?

Now where were we? So easy to get befuddled in the holydays ...

Ah, that's better, it's the bloody ABC, and it's all the fault of the bloody ABC for not being a perfect mirror image of reptile dreaming ... well, they have to think of future employment opportunities, don't they?

Of course it's all been said a squillion times before, and no Sabra, parading and humiliating Tony Abbott doesn't get you off the hook, or the rest of you cardigan wearers ...

Now astute readers will understand that this cry to the heavens is really all about Polonius, who loves to be the centre of attention ...

Yes, it's always me, me, me, look at moi, moi, moi, and why wasn't I appointed head of the ABC, and please, no mention of the fact that I'm a rigid fundamentalist Catholic zealot, because that'll get you hauled up before the Congregation of the Faith on charges of sectarianism.

Yes,  as everyone knows before they disappear up their fundaments, Hendo and Amanda and suchlike folks are all that count in the known universe, and using the ABC to listen to music, or to gain insights about Australia and the world is simply wrong, and counter-productive, when really everyone should be feeding on the blinkered, zealous, ideological ratbaggery of the kind that saturates the lizard Oz like high fructose corn syrup can be found in all sorts of foodstuffs in the US.

Does Polonius have a secret app that allows, with a press of a button, for the usual regurgitation to proceed unhindered without human hand, the fresh arrangement of the same old stuff designed to produce a sense that it's not more than six thousand year old material?

Who knows, but the pond can sniff a century egg in the air ...

It is, of course, reminiscent of the sort of fundamentalist purification rites indulged in over the centuries by the Catholic church, which requires the casting out of the heretics and the impure, and the embrace of the righteous fundamentalist zealot ...

What can be said?

Well the ghost of the NCC's Santamaria still has an impact at the reptile headquarters in Surry Hills in inner-city Sydney, and in the hallowed halls of the Sydney Institute's inner-city pad at Phillips street ...

And that's the absurdity of the use of "inner-city Sydney" as a term of abuse, scribbled by an inner-city of Sydney man for a rag run out of inner-city Sydney, as if it means anything more than an explosive musical Bloodnok fart ...

But wait, the pond is also proudly futurist, and this tweet caught the eye ...

You can find that story here ... which is more than you can expect to find in the House of Murdoch, with aged warriors still scribbling about Allan Ashbolt ...

Alaln fucking Ashbolt ... they never forget and they never forgive, do they? Well, if we must go there, let's go there ...

In a wild scene, Ashbolt the peaceful humanist leapt on stage as if possessed and seized in a headlock the leader of the Australian Nazi party, who had collared Francis James’s microphone. It was an instant transformation into radical activist. Outraged by the indecent and inhumane spectacle of the mightiest, most awesome military state in history trying to pulverise and obliterate a tiny band of Asian peasants, he marched in front with Jim Cairns, he demonstrated, he addressed conferences and fired crowds up to 9000 strong, and became a Cold War target for the forces of Bartholomew Santamaria. (here)

Would there were more like him, than those who simper over Tony Abbott simpering over Winston Churchill ... would there were fewer who supported conscription and said assault on Asian peasants, yet never found the ticker to serve ... Is there a Polonius in the house>

Well since it's holyday time, please allow the pond another wander down memory lane (click to enlarge)...


  1. and for his next trick, Gerard Henderson will produce one, just one, we're not asking a lot - ONE articulate, media-friendly conservative commentator.

    tumbleweeds.....more tumbleweeds.

    must be el nino, dried out all our great conservative minds.

  2. " ... they never forget and they never forgive, do they?"

    No, they don't do they. How long has Prat Polonius harbored that grudge ? Against somebody who once merely farted in Santamaria's general direction. I mean, I've been around for a while but I could barely, barely recall Ashbolt - had to do the Hunt thing to remind myself.

    The name for the Sheridan-Abbott thing - bromancer - is beautifully descriptive, especially of Abbott's dominance, though also just a little bit suggestive of some parity in the affair. But what can we call Polonius's thing with Santamaria ? Boygroupie maybe ? Boycrush ? I dunno, better suggestions would be gratefully received.

    However, it does say something about Righties like Polonius - that the bit about "the price of liberty is eternal vigilance" is very much understated. They will fight every nanometer of the way, and yes, they never forget and never forgive.

    1. GB
      so many years ago that I have forgotten most of the details.
      The Sutherland and Shire Leader newspaper editor was a local conservative (Tom ????) and he weekly (or was it bi-weekly) railed against Ashbolt and the ABC in "His" newspaper. His editorials were early versions of something that The Bolter would later write. Most were just hilarious.
      I kept up a correspondence with Allan, sending him "The Best Of" editorials.

    2. sldr360 mate, if it wasn't for the fact that most of the Righties are utterly feckless, not to mention also gormless, we'd all be in deep doggy do.

      Prattling Polo is entirely so, but Santamaria did manage to do a fair bit of damage in his day. Not that you'd notice now, of course, the DLP is all but invisible nowadays, and the NCC much the same.

      Unless, of course, they're in hiatus waiting for us all to go to sleep just one too many times ...

    3. GB, re the Polonius X Santamaria relationship - the term "gar" as used in anime circles might be appropriate ...
      "“Gar” is an Internet slang term associated with same-sex affection for overtly masculine characters found in animes and manga. It is typically used by fan boys as an adjective to characterize a male character as being cool, badass or otherwise admirable. The concept can be also seen as the antithesis of “moe.”"
      (from )


    4. Interesting thought, Mish, but I feel 'gar' is a bit short and sharp (for a long obtuse such as Hendo) and a bit too easily confused with 'gah' (short expression of disgust).

      But in looking up your reference, it came up with 'fanboy' which is a better fit. I was almost diverted onto 'gunsel' (as per the Maltese Falcon) but that was too explicitly sexual, and I could never see Polonius as any kind of sexually motivated individual.

    5. Presumably, Mish, derived from the French slang for 'guy' (gar being a shortened form of garçon). And boy, do the French do BD well! Whether Hendo has the stylish sense of joi-de-vivre to run with the beaux gars and hommes of the République is another question altogether.

    6. Speaking for Mish, Anony, but when I looked up the pointer he provided it was described as a mistype of 'gay' as in "I am 'gar' (intended 'gay') for him."

      Of course the word I really wanted to use is 'catamite' - the word that Dashiell Hammett had to substitute 'gunsel' for. But I didn't think that describing Polonius as a 'celibate catamite' quite fit the bill.

    7. GB is quite right that gar was originally a typo - someone wished to say that they were "gay for Archer" (a very popular anime character) and typed gar instead. It's even been linked with Ancient Greek & Roman 'virtue' and love of manliness. Also I agree that Gerard and sexual passions don't seem to be well acquainted.
      But I do really like Anon's linking of gar with the French; it's perfect.
      On a pedantic note, GB, I'm not a he, I'm a she (not that we should really care when in the company of Dorothy Parker ....)

    8. My apologies, Mish, but then in at least an attempt at self exculpation I would point out that I'm not so very young these days and gender, and indeed sex, doesn't quite have the focal importance it once did.

    9. An excellent point, GB. Not a problem at all.

    10. Your forbearance is appreciated, Mish, but perhaps in future I should stick with this:

    11. 'they' is an effective solution in most cases, GB, especially in response to people who complain that gender-neutral terms are too unwieldy. But it's really not a big issue - just me being a cheeky pedant :)

  3. Hi Dorothy,

    I tried to interest News Corporation in a Computer Algorithm I had recently invented. It would constantly monitor the internet, radio and TV looking for any new mentions of the ABC. When a suitable ABC subject was located (suitability would be assessed by correspondence to one or more items in the Grievance File) it would then randomly pick sentences from thirty years of Hendersons scribbles and so by construct almost free copy for the opinion pages.

    They turned me down, saying thats basically what Henderson does anyway and they weren't fond of new technology.


    1. Oh DW, post of the year, and it's only mid-January.
      Keep some powder dry for the return of Parliament AND the hint that Barners could be given the reins at some point.
      This year could, amazingly, top the last!

    2. I agree, that's a gold star comment right there :)

    3. What's the word that means "everything I could and should have said if I'd only thought of it at the time" ?

      Whatever (yair, great one, DW)

    4. Perhaps the Postmodernist Generator could be adapted

      Love your idea, DW. Not that the droning Henderson deserves such an homage.


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