Sunday, January 17, 2016

In which the pond makes the mistake of reading Oz correspondence ...



So there you go, the senile randy old goat has spoken, and teh hair it is ... united by horror of Hillary, as if the horror of Trumpism is no horror at all ...let alone the Canadian uniqueness of Cruz, the slimiest and most sinister politician since the good old days of Joe McCarthy ...


Of course it all makes for great fun for those catching up with Colbert in pre-packaged YouTube form ... what with turtles and JEB! and "born in the USA" and New York values and a special tribute to the fecal man himself, Rick Santorum, and so on, in existentially absurd ways not even Monty Python could imagine ...


It's probably about 18 or 17 days and counting now, but however it ends, it's going to end badly, and the price to pay will go beyond comedy ...

The pond was forced to pay attention to these international trends because of the slackness of the commentariat ...

Where's Miranda the Devine when she's needed?

Off watching a lesbian flick ...


The pond be double-dog damned, them's hard yards ... there's lifters and leaners and then there's screeners ...

Oh sure, there was Peter FitzSimons  here, remarking on the way the wretched Swiss bank account man facilitates and enables the hideous parrot, but that was just recycled material, left over holiday January filler, like the entirety of ABC radio and television ...

And then there's the absent Bolter, still trailing his cape for a job on ABC Classic FM ...


Oh he does so want to be John Cargher, please, make it so ... and then he can be as voluble and as volatile as Cargher was about political matters ...

The dire situation helps explain how the pond came to stumble on letters to the editor of the reptile Oz ...


Oh dear, who'd have guessed that the readership is as barking mad as the rag itself?

Well the pond has a tip for J. D. Harding of Eastwood ... much as the pond loves the idea of interning indefinitely, or interning and deportation, heck let's make the entire country a gulag, in the future the issue is going to be digital identity ...

You see, although Bob's idea was unpopular, we live in a different world. Yes, it's called the intertubes. Why you don't even have to put a rego sticker on your car these days, do you J. D. Harding of Eastwood ...

Now the pond knows you're in love with the notion of the Bourne Identity and citizens being stopped in the streets so that they can mutter "Meine papiere habe sind verloren" like they used to in the old days ...


But these days even the post office demands to see the tracking number on your phone ...

Catch up, J. D. Harding, and soon enough you'll be able to moan about Orwellian big brother big government online identity theft and your dreams of deportation can move up a notch to embrace the full to overflowing intertubes ...

Meanwhile, the pond is grateful for Brenton Minge's reference to the Left's talking parrot, the ABC, which organisation seem to have the enormous capacity to spook defence bureaucrats ...

By golly that furphy's been around for a long time ...


Because we really need to be able to kick Chinese arse ... eh, Quentin, you double-dog damned maser of grind?

Yes, they'll force Australia out of the western Pacific ... why soon enough, we'll only be able to operate in the Tasman sea, and the entirety of Queensland will have to be abandoned ... but as the main game's to dig up the entire north and sell it to China, who will notice?

The pond almost began to take a sick pleasure in the read ...


Frankly Ms Marr, the pond was vastly reassured that Germany is full of Germans ... and that refugees had been tucked away out of sight in broom closets, but your letter was upstaged by Greg Byrne's suggestion that a Conservative party, including Angus Taylor and led by Tony Abbott, would be in government by next week ...

Surely a letter writer reader of this skill and insight should be dragooned in to writing the Oz editorials ... and what a splendid reward, to get this kind of feedback, for the Oz's hysterical fear campaign that ... gasp ... the Liberal party might incline to the moderate and the sensible, as opposed to pure undiluted Murdochian Trumpism ...

Finally, Mr Martin Dolan, if the pond might be so bold, this just in, yet another Oz EXCLUSIVE ...


Of course as nobody has much of a clue - though the search has produced a shipwreck or two - it seems any obsessional crank might scribble anything they like without any fear of contradiction by actual facts ...

But isn't that the reptilian click-baiting, trolling Oz way in so many matters?

Never mind, out of many ill winds, good fortune can sometimes blow, and rest assured, the pond was forwarding this Rowe cartoon to all the Shortenistas in the extended family ... and as always, Rowe can be found on Twitter here as the two Davids reach a kind of cartoon Singularity ...

4 comments:

  1. Hang on, DP! Whooooaaaaaa ...
    See - you quoted from a letter written by a Mr 'Minge'? See your error, compounding that of the Letters Editor? M-i-n-g-e, or the "haven that is sometimes shaven"?
    If only the Editor had requested ASIO track Bob Ellis' position by his smartphone, we may have seen that Bob & Mr "Minge" may be occupying the same spot on the ground.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fascinating, because I've just checked Telstra White Pages and there's lots of Minges who own landline phones (43 in all including at least two B Minge entries) and they can't all be Bob Ellis.

      I wonder if any of them know what their name means ? I didn't until your timely post, UC. There's even 4 entries for Merkin, and I wonder if they know what their name means (and I do know that one).

      Delete
    2. What a glorious Sunday - the words minge and merkin appearing in the one post about a randy senile old goat.
      Are QI taking note?

      Delete
  2. A hearty thanks to J.D.Harding. On the surface, and insane idea, but wait....

    The next recession is averted as the government just employed 130,000 staff to put the uber-id check scheme into action. And Wilson Security just employed another 50,000 people to run the interment camps.

    Finally, Malcom Turnbull would be forced to actually improve the NBN to keep our spies on top of their game.

    Well done Mr/Ms Harding. It's agility like this that we are looking for in our bold new future.

    ReplyDelete

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