Monday, November 23, 2015

There's something in the ether, or perhaps the water cooler ...


(Above: David Rowe with a fine portrait, and more Rowe here).

Speaking of the preacher man, the pond was unnerved at how his words echo and vibrate through the ether, in a strange, ethereal way. This a little while ago ...


... mutates, and becomes this, on this very reptilian editorial day ...


It is of course exactly the same trick as performed by Islamic terrorists. Pronounce the faith and leave the hotel. Splash a little magic water about, perform an act of cannibalism - bread and wine will do - and you're home ...

The pond was entranced, and thought it worthy of a scientific study. Was it yet another Conan Doyle-ish example of ...


... or was it simply another well-known phenomenon?



Never mind, today the pond returns to the usual fare, and of course it's the ABC, about which the reptiles are obsessed, even more than the anal anxiety they display, which routinely attracts Dr. Freud. So:


Of course there were a few exceptional reptiles, who sing a siren song:


Yes, she's so addicted, she quite forgot it's called The Beautiful Lie ...

It didn't get any better at the paywall barrier ...


A or The, what's in a name, though it did remind the pond of that old Bart Simpson joke:


Which brings us to the text for the day, and the dog botherer, and a man who clearly has run out of meaningful things to say about the ABC, but persists in saying something, anything, because that's what dog botherers do ...



Oh dear sweet long absent lord, not another Orwellian deceit trotted out. Is there a Godwin's Law expert in the house?

Arken's Law states: “A discussion is over when present society is compared to George Orwell's Oceania in the book 1984".
The exact history of the law is debatable, but it is claimed that Arken's Law has its roots in the days of HTML 1.0 and earlier (such as Usenet). Any accusations of Big Brotherism, utilizing newspeak, practicing doublethink, thought policing, sending updates down the memory hole or belonging to the Anti-Sex League would all be invocations of Arken's Law. (here)

But let's face it, the dog botherer is too thick to have any meta-ironic, post-modernist sense of his own reflexive stupidity, and so instead of dealing with what purports to be arithmetic wit, we must pass on laboriously to the end of his piece, even if the discussion is already over:


Yes, it passes for wit in the lizard land of Oz - you know, jokes about locking bicycles and dressing in black - but if ever there was an explanation of why the real figures are failing in reptile land, there it is in a nutshell ...

The world of hipsters has moved on beyond basic black. Kenny might have made a joke about beards and tatts and suchlike,  as can be found on a daily basis in the streets of Newtown, but the hipsters wouldn't have cared, because they wouldn't be reading ...

Yes, there's not much to joke about when YOY you drop 7.5% for the daily edition, and 3% for the weekend edition ... (mUmBRELLA, here) and basic black fades from memory, as you keep on making jokes about the young readership you're supposed to be attracting ...

You know, the ones that find the mere mention of climate science and gay marriage as some kind dog whistle a matter of sublime irrelevance. Do eunuchs buy newspapers? Not the one the dog botherer writes for ...

Is it time for the reptiles to turn eunuch themselves? Well, they already listen devotedly to Their Master's Voice ...

And so to another Rowe, link as above ... conjuring up a phantom of the opera, and all that the dog botherer loves ...




7 comments:

  1. About halfway through the final of The Beautiful Lie I asked another if it was heading to a bad ending. Should have included a warning about mixing alcohol & alprazolam.

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  2. I'm in awe both of your productivity and intestinal fortitude, DP. I would oblige CK and sneer at the oleaginous Henderson except I can't bear even to see that weasel face or listen to that Uriah Heap voice for one moment. Having discovered Loonpond, I am able again to gain some sense of what passes for opinion in la-la land, with your good self filtering the effluent with such a sense of wit that delights an ageing leftoid and no doubt annoys numerous lizards.

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  3. Ms Pond
    An epic fail for the NZ subbies today. They mistakenly allowed "prominent" and "journalist" in the same sentence as Shari Markson

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    Replies
    1. Say what? And no mention of senior, or perhaps serious?

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  4. My favorite part of Kenny's piece is the way he conflated the LNP's policy of gender diversity on boards, as if the ABC got to choose the women, and therefore they should extend this LNP policy to panelists. What a goose.

    Given Kenny averages around 50K a program, Bolt around 130K and the failure of the MTR radio station, the demise of the Oz - has it ever occurred to them that the public don't want what they're selling?

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  5. Given that Kenny writes "such silliness aside" and "this sort of nonsense" whilst indulging deeply in silliness and nonsense himself leads me to want to find a better word than "fuckwit" to describe him.

    Shame really because I'd like to think I helped resurrect the term myself in various comments when it became obvious that the arch-fuckwit Abbott was going to become PM. I'm actually proud of being a part of resurrecting it and it pains me to think that it's no longer adequate.

    Maybe "Kennywit"? How about "Newswit"? or, now I'm getting somewhere.... Boltwit!!!

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  6. Yes that bit about the silliness was confusing as well as silly. I am still not completely sure if he was talking about his own silliness or the silliness of the other people he was talking about. His own is more convincing though.

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