Friday, November 27, 2015

Perfidy abounds in an 'anything goes' culture, as Moorice slams the rough Brough, Malware's copper NBN, private education rorters, and chairman Rupert's warped media empire ...

(Above: and more Pope here and on Twitter here).

Usually Friday is a slow day at the pond as the reptiles prepare for their big weekend issue ...

But today there was much to see and do ...

The memesters have been busy ...

... but that referenced a story, so the pond moved on, because the rough Brough was producing some splendid ironies for Malware ...

And this ...

... required this ...

Yes, it's always the fault of the regulators, all the rorting and the carry-on, because after all, if you can get away with phone-tapping, why that must surely be the fault of the regulators. It surely doesn't discredit the idea of illegal phone-tapping as a grand industry suited to private competition ...

Or some such thing. So deep in the mire of the rorts and the rip-offs, the hapless reptiles don't have a clue ...

Meanwhile, the pond took a rare walk down the rich business lane wherein the expensive-to-acquire AFR dwells ...

Oh Joanna, Joanna ... here's the thing. The pond is just the work of an eccentric blogger and if the punters don't like the typos and the errors, they can just go away.

But the AFR seeks a premium price for "a whiff of inevitably."

Now the pond loved it, and clapped hands with glee - what a splendid malapropism - but there's a certain inevitability - the pond is unable to avoid or evade or escape the unalterable conclusion - to the notion that you're young.

Please Joanna, the pond blames the education regulators for failing to notice the Murdochian-led education revolution that's been going on these past few years, but the result is that you and your sub make the pond feel it can run up any number of typos in a day, and so anarchy is unleashed on the world ...

But all this is as nothing, just a passing whimsical zephyr in the days of our lives because this very day Moorice has unleashed a withering epistle to the reptiles ... (well who else reads the rag these days?)

Now the pond is aware that this will produce consternation. The world's greatest climate scientist is being distracted from his chosen task by his desire for a strong leader to be lodged back in the Lodge.

Who will stand firm against the flim flam climate scientists trying to pretend that this year has to date been the warmest on record? Lathering up this nonsense in preparation for Paris ...

Abject peasants without a shred of understanding of Moorice's massive intellect, you have once more failed to understand his genius.

See how he gently weaves together his heart-rending tale of terrorists of Islam and climate science terrorists ...

Indeed, indeed. How soft and malleable is Malware ... why he's just like copper piping.

The pond blames the Left intelligentsia, because it's in the interests of secularists and atheists like the pond to join forces with Daesh, so that they might enjoy the pleasantries of a personal beheading.

And so to the obligatory celebration of strong man Tony, and the fiendish conspirators who laughably suggest that climate science might produce some minor matters of occasional concern:

Of course Moorice also contends that there is no credible scientific evidence to support the absurd proposition of anthropogenic climate change. 

Of course this might be a delusion, cloaked in the moral superiority of a delusional ranting old man shouting at clouds, and his love of strong man Tony might exemplify what is wrong with conservatives in Australia, but let us move along quickly to Moorice's stunning conclusion, because the first pars below just about brings it all together in a cosmic apocalypse of cultural chaos:

Actually the pond draws the line at Moorice's ineffable stupidity as the clouds keep on floating by ...

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden ranting Moorice dills;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Presiding on a reptile hot rock proud,
Fluttering and dancing
And shouting at the clouds
Evaporating in the climate science breeze ...

And with that outrageous ravaging of Wordsworth - luckily the sweet man isn't around to see the pond do a Joanna - the pond is pleased to provide evidence from a New York correspondent, transmitted by copper wiring this very morning, that the war on Xmas is heating up in New York, as everyone gears up to celebrate refugees seeking to overcrowd the world by giving birth in a stable when really they should have been fitted with a surveillance tag and shipped back home to be slaughtered. Why strong man Tony himself will tell you Jesus got it wrong!

Oh and the pond apologises for anyone who took seriously that header about Moorice slamming Chairman Rupert and all the others. The pond is practising its click bait skills and there's a whiff of inevitably about what that produces ... 


  1. As the late great Kenneth Williams remarked in Carry On Don't Lose your Head, "Infamy! Infamy! They've all got it in for me!"


  2. Dear Rupert,

    I write today as I am starting to get really worried about a few of your op-ed writers in Australia. As you know, we recently had a rather sharp, bullying PM that no-one especially liked. He was dumped, and this seems to have sent a few of your key writers into a real emotional tailspin.

    They keep repeating nonsensical riffs, it's almost as if there are no editors to guide them, or friends to reach out and help. They hold tight to a few routinely debunked shibboleths, and yammer away. I'm getting really concerned about them.

    Are you able, in your position, to arrange for them to have a little joy visit their lives - perhaps assign them to write something, anything that's actually interesting, and/or constructive? It's just an idea, and there are possibly a few other Australians that might be willing to make suggestions about refreshing the op-eds. Oh, and before I go, great idea getting the man who overseas the Tele to look after The Oz. I should imagine all the problems will be fixed right there.

    Best dash, see you anon.

    p.s. SHIBBOLETH: a custom, principle, or belief distinguishing a particular class or group of people, especially a long-standing one regarded as outmoded or no longer important.

    1. Hi VC,

      Three thousand years ago (according to a certain book) two tribes faced one another across a battlefield in the Middle East. On one side were the Ephraimites, on the other were the Gileadites. Whilst both tribes were "Sons of Israel" they had become distinct communities and both had become extremely antagonistic to their neighbours.

      By the end of a day of smiting and smoting, the Ephraimites had been routed and the remaining survivors had taken to their heels. The triumphant Gileadites under the leadership of Jephthah (who had previously doomed his daughter to become a burnt offering) were still however determined to wipe out any remnants of their opponents.

      The Gileadites took control of all the fords on the River Jordan and interrogated anybody who attempted to cross. Every man who requested passage was asked to say the word "shibboleth" (which meant either an ear of corn or stream/river). The unfortunate Ephraimites had a dialect which rendered them incapable of pronouncing the "Sh" sound ( as in shoe) so everyone that responded by saying "sibboleth" was put to the sword.

      According to The Book of Judges, 42,000 were subsequently detected and then massacred.

      Thus the term "shibboleth" became known as way of distinguishing people by their dialect.

      Similarly in 1937 soldiers acting on orders from the dictatorial President of The Dominican Republic, Rafael Trujillo, attempted to identify Haitian immigrants near the border of the two countries. Holding up a sprig of parsley they would ask the suspect it's name. Haitians having French or Haitian Creole as their native language struggled to replicate the "trill" of the R in the Spanish word perejil.

      Thus began the Parsley Massacre which may have resulted in up to 30,000 dead.

      During WW2 the Americans sentries in the Pacific Campaign used to challenge any newcomers to say "lollapalooza", on the assumption that the Japanese struggled with pronunciation of R's and L's. Evidently Australians similarly used the password "Woolloomooloo".

      Latterly however the term "shibboleth" has increased to mean not just a way to differentiate between groups by their pronunciation but also by their customs and their beliefs. This sets up a position for cynical politicians to place people they like in either "in groups" or "out groups" using terminology that only one subset can relate to.

      Dog-whistle politics exploits this differentiation by using certain "code words" like un-Australian, Mainstream and Illegals it can talk to its core electorate whilst still avoiding being labelled inherently racist.



    2. Oh what a magnificent extrapolation DW, I am not worthy etc etc.

      And sending Dorothy out for Friday arvo chocolate cake must be regarded as most excellent collateral impact!

      Thankyou most kindly.

  3. Hi Dorothy,

    As if the Middle East wasn't already full of heavily armed men with a myriad of agendas they now throw this into the mix;


    1. It's very good to have your very informative comments DW, and exceptional links, even if they result in talk of massacres and Colombians. The pond felt so depressed we're tottering out for a slice of chocolate cake, keeping a sharp eye out for mercenaries. At least one thing's gone right this year ..

    2. Yes, DW is indeed a very well informed interlocutor, DP. So well informed I'm hoping he may be able to help me with a very puzzling matter: it seems that some Kurd Peshmergas have retaken a town that was held by ISIS/Daesh. Looking under an oddly placed mattress the Kurds were apparently quite surprised to find a network of tunnels dug by the Daesh chaps.

      So, my puzzle is, isn't there anybody who fought in Vietnam still alive anywhere in the world ? Or does only Daesh remember the tactics of the Viet Cong (after all, they couldn't have thought of the idea of tunnels all by their little own selves, could they) ?

    3. Hi GB,

      There is indeed a long and ignoble military history of underestimating ones enemy and this is yet another example. It's easy to label ISIS/Daesh as a barbaric rabble of fanatics but there are some sharp minds guiding a lot of their actions.

      Their tunnelling activities are probably more inspired by the Palestinians than the VC;


    4. Good point, DW. The Palestinian tunnels are of much more recent vintage, and possibly even known to some denizens of the region..

  4. Mmmmm ... cake! Chocolate coated! Mmmm MMMMM!
    Winners are grinners.


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