Friday, October 30, 2015

In which the pond discovers a vast conspiracy involving Fairfax Media ...

(Above: a Rowe cartoon which might apply to many circumstances, and diverse people involved in public discourse, and more excellent Rowe here).

The pond was incredibly moved to read Hedley Thomas's first effort for the reptiles on a legal action which is going to gladden the hearts of parrot and Caterist lovers throughout the land ... talk about a win-win situation ...

It involved a phenomenon well known to lovers of Shrek:

No, not that Shrek joke:

Oh how the pond will miss him. You only get one Treasurer like that in a lifetime ...

But let us get back to the legal action, and little 'me too' doing his 'pick me, pick me' routines ...

Yes, it's the burden of Australians to suffer buzzing blowfly blowhards turn up time and again like bad pennies with their coulda, woulda, shoulda routines ...

But what fun to see Newman hitching his wagon to an entirely different wagon train, and in such a shameless way ...

So how cheeky does it get?

Please allow the pond to savour that one, to roll it around on the tongue like the Bolter sipping on a nice red (waiter, a little of your best Grange) while sobbing his heart out listening to a decent operatic murder scene:

“If someone out there is as ­affronted by Alan Jones as I have been, and if they would like to front legal action that I could take, I would be delighted to sit down and accept the support to make accountable a guy who is out of control and not doing the right thing by Australians.” 
Mr Newman said “ranting and raving” by Jones against him probably had not cost the LNP the election but he no doubt it had had an impact and made it difficult to communicate policies and messages. 
“We were answering his wild and untrue allegations. After the election, I did consider going on with a privately funded defamation action but I took advice from leaders in the field, who said that because of the cost, it was not something they could recommend,” Mr Newman said.

So the goose isn't up to it, but he wants another goose to step forward and get plucked ...

Well the pond has only one suggestion for the rambling stew man.

Go the cloud. Think cloud, bantam rooster, the way the young were once advised to think of plastics ...

The full to overflowing intertubes is full of cloud ways to pluck money from suckers in search of a way to waste their cash ... and crowd funding should surely be the next stop on the Campbell Newman caravan tour of delusion ...

Don't mention it. The advice is free, and worth what you paid for it. You're welcome, and have a nice cloud day.

Meanwhile, the cognoscenti of media ins and outs will be delighted by that reptile Oz description of 2GB ... as "the Fairfax Media-controlled flagship station".

The very radio station that presents the Bolter on a routine basis ...


The Bolter is a very deep, very far left agent of Fairfax.

His deep cover, up there with a Kingsman, is designed to muddy the waters, and present such extreme, hysterical views, that he becomes a source of satire, with people mocking the far right and runts of the litter like the rambling stew man ...

What a fiendishly clever trick.

This subversive activity is being conducted in plain view of the hapless Murdochians, who don't seem to realise that their man is working tirelessly for the Fairfaxian cause ...

He is a flag presence on the flagship station.

It means that when the Bolter runs an extended rant like this in plain view of the Murdochians ...

... it's actually an extremely clever counter-denialist operation designed to have readers rolling around on the floor laughing at denialist hysteria about peak stupid ...

Well that's the pond's conspiracy theory, and as always, being a child of the Bolter and the Murdochian commentariat, the pond will stick to it through thick and thin and without once paying attention to a rational thought or a sensible counter-argument ...

Besides, the pond has further evidence and proof ...

After all, the recent grand tour is also surely an epic effort designed to accomplish exactly the same ends of mockery and satire ... (and you may find more mocking and satirical Popery here ...)

And while on papal humour and Alan Jones and climate science with the Bolter, ah how the memories surge ...

Ah, the agents of Fairfax ... the Bolter and the parrot, doing their very best to reduce everything to fit subjects for satire ...


  1. Hey Dorothy. Love the Hockey/Shrek thing. I was alarmed to find that Malcolm Turnbull is really Tombliboo Unn from In the Night Garden. Wish I could copy and paste a picture here. Here he is in the middle:
    Perhaps its just me?

    1. Perhaps it is just you. Surely on the evidence you present, the Pontipines are just too characterful, and besides, where's the bowler hat?

  2. As Tish says in the Addams family, "Don't torture yourself Anon; that's my job."

  3. DP - I'm sorry to have to report that Goggle have purloined your moniker.

    "Project Loon set to circle the planet with Internet balloons"

    Maybe you are branching out?

    And more evidence that the reptiles have broadened their reach.

    Crazy Toilet Cafe opened on Friday in the Russian capital, and will allow patrons to eat an array of dishes that can only be described as faecal-inspired, served in toilet-themed crockery. Instead of seats, there are about 50 real toilets for guests to sit on while eating.

    Wasn't there a Bunuel film which reversed the roles of defecation and eating? I think it was "The discreet charm..."

    1. Are you thinking of Le Fantôme de la liberté, Anon, where they sit at table on toilets and discuss excrement?

      Any lover of Buñuel is welcome at the pond.

      As for google, the pond's lawyers have been briefed.

  4. DP, if you are shat off after reading today's tripe, seek refuge in RAckland's Australia's bid for the UN human rights council was conceived in a parallel universe.
    Cynics may bag the piece for it's grim humour, but, really, who wouldn't want to share a power-podium with a Saudi proponent of stoning?

    1. Thanks UC, and indeed the pond is pleased that there are intelligent people writing intelligent things elsewhere in the universe, but it's pond's business to deal only with tripe.

      It should go without saying that the pond is entirely in favour of the Saudi Arabian human rights agenda and naturally it applauds the axis of weevils, Bleagh, Bush and Howard, for getting into bed with this malignant country for so long ... and how pleasing that the commentariat and the Murdochians should have gone along with it, there being much money to be made from oil ... and scruples mere baggage to be thrown away so that the road of life can be traversed more quickly and profitably ...


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