Saturday, October 03, 2015

In which a partisan Christ Mitchell allows yet another attack on the ABC ... well it's hardly news but thanks to prattling Polonius it provides weekend fun for inquiring minds ...

Pope has hit on a luvvely riff, and more Pope here, but is everyone enjoying the musical?

Some certainly are:

Thank the long absent lord for the bouffant one, now busy shining a new set of shoes. With starched shirt and fancy tie, what a snazzy worshipful dancer he makes.

But some are impatient for action man:

Yes, nothing like the need to make a Rambo rush to the cliff to bring out the hotheads and the recalcitrants:

And so on, as the Bolter maintains the rage on many moot matters:

Nothing, nobody and no one can stop the Bolter ...

What we need then is an explanation of how it's all the ABC's fault, along with a faux history lesson, and even though he's well hidden inside the fold in the pages of "The Inquirer" - oh how the reptiles cultivate and love their "inquiring minds" - the pond each Saturday thanks the long absent lord that Prattling Polonius is around to provide a steady pair of hands.

What an elegant interpretation of events. How seemly and polite, and certainly not bitter or twisted and in no way feral. Instead the outrage must be directed at the usual suspects.

How many times has Polonius prattled that "The ABC does not have even one conservative presenter", thereby damning the wretched Tom Switzer and casting the awful Amanda Vanstone into the outer wetness ...

But stay, The Australian doesn't have a single wild-eyed greenie presenter or commentator - the doddering Philip Adams is mere window-dressing - so let us see how prattling Polonius addresses that outrage at the reptiles' public tone ...

No wait, that's simply not on, not on at all.

Perhaps instead we could all benefit from another of Polonius's thumbnail history lessons, scribbled on the back of a postage stamp and then faithfully transcribed:

Uh huh. In the immortal words of a former leader, shit happens, but what's the point. Can we look forward to Tony Abbott doing a Menzies?

Who knows, but perhaps, maybe, because the hagiographical intent of the history lesson suddenly becomes painfully clear:

And there you have it, a most professional coup, and the victim fluent but certainly not feral, and a relative absence of political vitriol, and Abbott handling matters well, with wonderful verbal dexterity, and hush, please, no mention of gritted teeth ...

Why there's a man who could rise again, like Menzies or Howard and join the immortals in the pantheon of Liberal leaders.

And that is how you re-write history. On the spot, and on the fly, and as always, with the benefit of only one eye, with the white-washing paving the way for more debriefings to the jocks in the run-up to Xmas ...

And what of those determined to maintain the rage?

Nothing, nobody and no one can stop the Bolter ...

And since one more time we've had the ABC and Fairfax done over, how about a balancing meme in closing?

Hush now, please, no talk of Murdochian culture. Remember, it's all the fault of Fairfax and the ABC ...


  1. I think these old boys who rail away in print are raging against their own powerlessness. Age can do that.

    Some of the older male commentariat are forever reliving the 'glory days' of student politics. Such larks. I put such romanticized reminiences about hi-jinks in the Student Union in the shut-up-it-is-too- tedious-no-one-is-interested-grow-up column where I also locate tales from school days, always expensive private schools, not pattern-book yellow brick high schools with portable classroom boxes attached.

    Why do some eternal schoolboys think that others are interested in the exploits of unknown people called Porky Barraclough and Stinky Brewster or game-saving-goals kicked decades ago? As we all know from servings provided by Dorothy here, Greg Sheridan has written many columns about youthful shenanigans with Tony Abbott.

    I noticed today after skimming Hanrahan's piece in the Oz that he seems to be edging his wagon closer to Potts Point or wherever the Australian PM lives these days.

    This country seems to be in a muddle doesn't it? I am not relaxed and comfortable.

    Thankyou Dorothy for your daily dose of amusement. One can only laugh. Grimly. Through gritted teeth.

    Miss pp

    1. Oh come on Miss pp, let's do a rousing Treasure of Sierra Madre laugh at the cosmic wonder of it all ... we only need to grit our teeth when the sand blows in from that Ozymandias land of the Murdochians ...

    2. Ah Dorothy, you run your own little Theatre of the Absurd here, guaranteed to make patrons laugh and cry.

      Miss pp

  2. I still blame Fairfax and the ABC for making Abbott speak. They make him undermine the PM. Every single cloth-eared, casually idiotic point made by the failed-PM is the fault of Fairfax and the ABC.

    I have no doubt that the ABC and Fairfax suggested knighting Prince Phillip.

    The sooner blame sits squarely where it should sit, the faster we can "refresh and reset" as Mr Dog Botherer often suggested Mr Abbott did.

    1. Thanks VC for exposing the truth. The pond had vaguely thought that the ABC and Fairfax were responsible, but it came as a thunderbolt of truth to learn that they had been the ones who had inveigled hapless Tony into knighting Phil ...

  3. Hi Dorothy,

    If you were wondering who was publishing Can Do Newman's biography then check out Connor Court Publishing;

    A small Australian publishing company that is tapping into the publics insatiable demand for right wing polemics.


    1. Truth to tell DW the pond wasn't wondering, since even at a dollar on the bargain table the pond would find it very easy to resist acquiring a copy, but your links do help to understand the sinister conspiracy that allows blowhards to have their moment in the publishing sun.

  4. I speculated that one of those maintaining the rage, Adam Creighton, might possibly be a descendant of Barry, once one Australia's leading comic actors and playwrights, famed originally for being part of the satire/review The Mavis Bramston Show.

    It seemed to fit, assuming Adam's pieces were actually a parody of Reptile scribes. So I did a Greg Hunt to look up Barry. He's had quite a good career.

    Alas, my major disappointment was to discover that Barry spells his name differently as "Creyton". So no theories to continue with there. But Adam could do well to consider if he could make more money than Rupert forks out by taking his stuff to reviews and satire.

    1. Careful, GD, it seems Barry might still be with us,, and we wouldn't want to give rise to a defamation action.

      Here's how the reptiles describe this Creighton:

      Adam Creighton has been The Australian's Economics Correspondent since 2012. Before that he worked for a classically liberal think tank and as an economic adviser for the federal Leader of the Opposition. He covers mainly domestic economic news, and writes a Friday column and features on economics and public policy.

      A "classically liberal think tank" is code for the to the right of Genghis Khan CIS. A fatuous example of Creighton imagining Brendan O'Neill is a latter day Voltaire:

      Meanwhile, trust your voyaging goes well!

  5. Unless Adam was the product of a young fling that turned Barry - on his head, GD.


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