Tuesday, June 30, 2015

In which the cowardly, craven Caterists pop up to abuse the good citizens of Gungahlin, aka nowheresville ...

(Above: and as always more Pope here).

It was inevitable that the head, detached from the body, would keep on rolling around in a bloody mess, but thanks be unto Pope, the pond's bestest papal advisor, the pond suddenly remembered Chairman Rupert ...

How is the doddering old bugger going?

Sounds almost fascist? Well you know what they say, it takes a fascist to spot a fascist ...

Meanwhile, it was inevitable that the show the pond doesn't watch would again be a headline hogger.

Now it's not just because blogger can't handle the ampersand in the show's title that the pond dislikes the show. It's because it generates much heat and little light.

Who would want to spend a nanosecond in the company of little Timmy "free speech" Wilson as he goes on about suppressing the right to speak?

Who could stand watching that professional bloviator and pompous ass Paul Kelly go about his Murdochian business, unless they had a serious desire to be transfixed by chin wobbles?

What's to be gained watching Kelly summonup a paroxysm of rage and indignation, which in old Victorian days would have seen him diagnosed as a hysteric, in need of some kind of treatment inducing detumescence?

As for craven, cowardly Alan Trudge, too wimpy to face the light, he only exists so that we might all enjoy a David Rowe cartoon (and as always, more Rowe here).

The pond hastens to add that it is not Alan Tudge, but does enjoy Spartacus, especially that once lost, then recovered scene, where Sir Larry leers at Tony Curtis and speaks of oysters and snails ...

Oh yes, but as to that Pope cartoon, sure enough, the news today, it almost goes without saying, is that the pack of hounds is still out and running, in a feral way, howling at the moon, baying at anything that moves, neighing at the fiendish notion of a public broadcaster and its outrageous thought crimes.

This is just a quick sampling:

Though perhaps not so much an ass as Peter McAllister ...

Go dog molester go ...

There is comedy to be had of course, most notably that splash featuring the grisly Dame Slap. Who else but the arrogant one could talk of cultural arrogance? Who else could join in the public hanging at the square and not realise she's just a fair average part of the rat pack set loose by the hound meister?

The shrieking, howling, baying Murdochians talking of cultural arrogance?

It's all too tedious of course, though it does show how fortunate Australia is, how luxurious the lifestyle, that this sort of distraction, hysteria and fear-mongering could run for days in the Murdochian press, as if nothing else in the world was happening.

Here the pond must pause to give Bill Leak a special tip of the hat. His recent efforts have been outstanding, an exemplary example of what happens when you tipple hard and long on the kool aid that runs free in the office:

You see, how the clever cartoonist manages to weave in the current hysteria with climate science? By golly, falling off that balcony did wonders for his wit ...

But it serves as an important introduction to the pond's guest for the day.

Now the craven, cowardly Nick Cater ducked the opportunity to do a Q and A session, and the pond applauds him, but really, he should have taken a more principled stand.

He should boycott the whole of the ABC and forever, and the pond would applaud him for being a man of integrity and vision.

It's just a distant dream, a hope, a vision, but please allow the pond a smidgin of optimistic delusional thinking ...

As it is, the wretch is still turning up on the ABC to complain about the ABC - he did it on RN this very morning - which shows he still has a little way to go before he understands how utterly tedious and what a dial shifter he is ...

Why doesn't he just frolic amongst the Murdochians like the little train that couldn't?

Ah well, it's the peter principle at work where the dullest knife in the drawer is given easy, gummy work to chew on, so let's get down with the jawboning.

Where else could you find a man confusing and conflating a tram with climate science?

Now let's try to ignore the traducing of the citizenry of Gungahlin - you can Greg Hunt the noble district here.

Sure there was almost 50k living in the area, sure there might be advantages in having other kinds of transport, but remember, if you're going to become a Murdochian commentator - a noble ambition, let it be said - you must always show a thinly veiled contempt for the citizenry, and perhaps on occasions allow yourself a little joke about oysters and snails and a "tram to nowhere".

Because outside your own fetid navel-gazing, everywhere is nowhere. Now if a lefty did this, they'd be accused of being out of touch and out of sympathy, but in Murdochian circles, you score brownie points showing contempt for people who might benefit from public transport - the poor, the young, the elderly, or to put it more succinctly, the losers and the drop kicks ...

From there you can quickly jump to climate science and Belarus and wind turbines and the outrage of a First Dog cartoon:

You see how easy it is?

Having called the good citizens of the Gungahlin district - wherever that might be - losers and dropkicks living in nowheresville, you can suddenly, with the grace and style of a Torville or a Dean, do a Silicon Valley pivot, and find yourself berating the paradox of the sophisticated classes, and their peculiar notion of inclusiveness - which of course can't include the good citizens of Gungahlin, living the long absent lord knows where, except it's nowheresville ...

Keep on with this sort of pivoting, and you could find yourself routinely showing off your dull edge, stupidity and inconsistency in a Murdoch rag near you.

And so, summoning up the sinews, it's on to the closer - always be closing, as the used car salesman used to say - but take care, because now we must pivot to slag off the ABC, because sigh, when you're a bear of little brain, you must always imitate the other bears, no matter how tedious the other bears are, or repetitive to the point of redundancy:

And so you see the dullard at work, pivoting once again, to talk of a gated community, as if somehow the class dunce had announced he was moving out to Gungahlin to live with the good citizens out there, who'd been mocked by the cardigan wearers at the ABC ...

In short, we're back with the monkey grinding away to the organ grinder's tune, and there's nothing new under the sun, and lordy lordy, there's the Caterists doing a Bill Leak and managing to join the mad Mallah with climate science, and pretending they're at one with the common folk and live outside the gated community, except who'd be an idiot and live in Gungahlin ...

It must be truly wondrous to be a Caterist.

Oh wait, speaking of new under the sun, there's a small distraction going down elsewhere in the world. What might it be, Mr Pope?

Hmm, now how can the pond link that to the ABC and Q and A (and never mind the ampersand) and trams and nowheresville and First Dog and gated communities and sophisticates?

Sigh, failed again at becoming a Murdochian columnist, but let's face it, at least the Greeks aren't rocking the boat on climate science ...

And so to that cartoonist who seems to have outraged the Caterists, and you can find more First Dog here.

The pond has already failed the test, but you might make the cut. Develop a dullard mind like a Caterist and you'll come top of the class:


  1. By your tone, DP, it doesn't sound like you'll be in line to join Australia's People's Association.

  2. Geez I'm getting confused. First of all Bookshelves Brandis tells us people have a right to be bigots, then Cater tells us stopping people being bigots is a laudable attempt to protect social harmony.

    So where does that leave Tony Abbott?

  3. Kristina KeneallyVerified account ‏@KKeneally

    Kristina Keneally retweeted Alan Tudge
    But slitting her throat, kicking to death, or drowning the bitch / witch is acceptable, apparently. #LiberalLogic
    Kristina Keneally added,

    Alan Tudge @AlanTudgeMP
    If you advocate rape, you should be disqualified from being given a platform. No ifs, no buts. #qanda

    Alan Tudge ‏@AlanTudgeMP 11h11 hours ago
    @KKeneally I have never endorsed such views and to suggest otherwise is offensive.

    Kristina Keneally ‏@KKeneally 4h4 hours ago
    @AlanTudgeMP Then openly condemn your Liberal party colleagues who said those things, & publicly apologise for standing under those signs.

    Alan Tudge ‏@AlanTudgeMP 2h2 hours ago
    @KKeneally Why so hard to condemn giving advocate of rape a platform?

    Kristina Keneally ‏@KKeneally 1h1 hour ago
    @AlanTudgeMP I agreed with you, on air. Why is it hard to condemn violent, misogynistic language from other Liberals? Or at that rally?


    Tudge must be a very fit man. He’s always running away.

    1. It won't be long before Antony Green is again to be repeatedly seen slicing and dicing and saying the next fed election outcome hangs in the balance as decided along the lengthy string of Qld sugar coast electorates (eg. recall Kevin 07 and StopAxeDitch 13). Sitting sugar seat COALition MPs are getting nervous about their prospects of re-election under their Abbott gang leadership. Starting with the lying TUDGE as departure point, a small survey of what's in the offing -

      there's this fairfax bit about a sometime swinging sugar seat encumbent distancing themselves from the TUDGE, et al, to curry local favour:
      However, Liberal National MP Mr Jones told Fairfax Media that he went down to the same rally but decided against appearing on stage, after reading the signs and taking stock of the mood.

      "It wasn't pretty down there, there was no way I was hopping up on stage, the mood was ugly," the member for Herbert said.

      "It certainly wasn't a place where I wanted to be."

      Asked if he had seen the offending signs, Mr Jones replied, "shit yeah", and then added "we're better than that".

      Queensland LNP MPs may only back Trans-Pacific Partnership if sugar industry is supported...
      "The feedback we're getting from them is they want to be a part of it, have deals done like the beef industry and things like that, and I think it's something my National Party colleagues and I are really pushing for."

      Sugar industry campaigns against Trans Pacific Partnership..
      MATT CANAVAN, LNP SENATOR: I think it's about time that Australia and other developing countries stand up to Washington and Brussels, who spend trillions of dollars protecting their farmers and corrupting international trade in agricultural markets.

      TOM IGGULDEN: Just like President Obama, Tony Abbott's facing opposition from within his own ranks to the deal. A bloc of Queensland Coalition MPs and senators is pushing the Trade Minister to force a concession on sugar or back away from a handshake.

      MATT CANAVAN: And so we don't have to do a deal. We have quite a strong economy and export quite a lot, thank you very much, under current trade agreements and trade arrangements. But unless there is some quid pro quo for the many tariffs and protections we removed on manufactured items in the last few decades, why would we do a deal?

      ALAN OXLEY, RMIT APEX STUDY CENTRE: The National MPs naturally have to reflect the interests of their constituents, but I don't think they're gonna get too far in changing the terms of the agreement.

      Paul Bongiorno: Tony Abbott's federal election preparations
      Ian Verrender: TPP debacle: don't expect this free trade agreement to live up to its name
      Vox: But the heavily protected sugar industry naturally opposes opening the US sugar market...

      If ALP alone has sugar in their TPP, it's game over LNP.

  4. Your reference to Janet Albrechtsen arrogance etc, is perfect. How could people who sell themselves to the rich seem to think they are of high morals.. strange fruit cake

  5. Even the Graudian is now plumbing the depths of tabloid sensational nonsense (apart from their weekly fare of sexual titillation stories about the Joys of Masturbation and Michael Douglas' oral sex comments and endless meaningless waffle about the latest diet fads).

    This must take the biscuit - and no it's not from the Daily Mail or the Hun.

    "Monkey bites woman on ear in sneak attack near Pirates of the Caribbean set "


    1. Hmmm, are they preparing themselves for the Huff's .au debut here next month?

    2. I thought all monkey attacks were sneaky?


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