Wednesday, December 31, 2014

2015 already? Must be time for some fuckwitted, simplistic slogans ...

This is why the Abbott government has got problems.

Mealy mouthed, simple minded slogans and dumbed down simplistic rhetoric, all left over from the time in opposition, and now reheated and spread out like a patient etherized upon a table.

Now admittedly it seems to have been specifically dumbed down for Daily Terror readers, and the long absent lord knows, that means you have to do Dumb and Dumber To.

But even the Terror didn't seem to care. After all it's not like the Queen on Xmas day. The post is dated to 12.00 am, January 1st, but it was up hours before that.

You can just imagine the poor bugger staying behind, looking at the damned copy and thinking 'oh bugger this, what's a few hours, I'm out of here, it's party time, because no one but an insane lunatic at loon pond will pay the slightest bit of attention ..."

But back to the blather and the rhetoric.

Lordy lordy, who wrote this thing?

Was it Abbott himself?

Or some pitiful hack, hacking away over the Christmas break?

Or a hack, who was then hacked by the chief hacker?

Uh huh. But if this is the best he can do, to pacify and placate the punters, for how much longer?

Look at the presentation. It's pitiful:

A small man in a box, with small dreams and small understandings, and an endless capacity and taste for slogans as a substitute for considered policy and managerial skills ...

Well David Pope caught the moment a little bit better (and more Pope here):

Ah yes, party like it's 1959, and you've won the lottery of life:

Never mind, the pond is out of here.

But if anyone else suggests putting their best foot forward, like a Tamworth High School teacher in long lost days of yore, they can shove it where the sun don't shine, or where they've stored all the stupid cliched cries of Team Australia ...


  1. Please hand me a sick bag. We've got another 2 years of this???
    DP, I wish you a happy new year even though I know you'll be spending it knee deep in effluvia of this quality.

  2. Man..on those endless nights in the Darwin tropics back in 1971, when it seemed even God himself had decided to give boring heaven away for a taste earthly delights, and such things as "gettin' to work on time" was a lame excuse to stop partying..never in my wildest waking hours did I think we would come to this....oh god oh god! did so many boring sober fucks get control of our lives??

  3. Why has Pope attributed the cartoon (a great homage to Robert Crumb) to Warren Truss?

    I don't get it.

    1. As the French say, pourquoi pas? His series of alter ego cartoons by absurd cartoonists, big Mal and Truss included, have been most droll. And if you want the post-reflexive post-modernist explanation, he has the fun of having these unlikely cartoonists do tributes to most unlikely heroes. Of course he could just have portrayed Truss, presumably our fearless leader when Abbott goes on leave, as a surgical appliance, but the pond appreciates the nuance and the whimsy

  4. Just one lie and slogan after another from the idiot Abbott. That really is all he has got. And this moron gets to play being Prime Minister with the help of his idiot mates from NewsCorpse.

  5. He has used that lottery win line before. What rubbish! Ask a French person, a Swiss, a German if they think they are also rans. It is such a small town thing to say. So embarrassing.

    I was spooning out Bonne Maman strawberry jam this morning and it got me thinking. The jam was ruby-lustrous with whole fruit. The jar was beautifully shaped with a simple, elegant red and white gingham patterned lid. It had been produced by people who value quality and design. The French, the Germans, the Italians, the Dutch, the Swiss run rings around us there.

    So Tony Abbott until this country has a government which values more than holes in the ground, chopping down trees, freeways, ugly buildings, then I will blow raspberries at your lottery win remarks.

    I stagger into 2015 heartened that many Australians want more than the paltry offerings of Team Abbott. I suspect the ALP has received the message too but that remains to be seen.

    The old saying about knowing the price of everything and the value of nothing fits our government well.

    Best wishes Dorothy and thank you.

    Happy New Year to all loons.

    Miss Pitty Pat

    1. Yes Miss Pitty Patt, whatever they say about the French and the Italians, when you eat, you really eat (not so sure about the Dutch and the Germans when it comes to eating, but hey, there are many other joys to be found - you can't judge London just by the warm baked beans, the greasy eggs and chips, and the sausages).
      Have a good one, and if nothing else, may we chortle through the year consuming elegant jams (though the pond, being of Tamworth stock, favours blackberry and raspberry).

    2. Ms Pond
      Here we are in a small Italian village, snowed-in, and having only the local produce to eat. The white truffle pasta, wild boar sausage, prosecco and Brunello rosso may split the family when my dearest and my eldest sprog decide to stay
      We have left the embarrassment of "our Tones" back in the old country where he is regarded by all we met as their best yet export.

    3. Steady, sldr360, that verges on unseemly gloating of a most triumphant kind, and you might be mistaken for Malcolm Turnbull and blamed for the state of the NBN on your return. Or was it George who had his snout in the trough? So many truffles, so little time ...

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    1. The pond draws a line, a fine one, somewhere around coprophilia

  7. And here is Moir's version of Abbott's intent for 2015

  8. Perhaps all of us reluctant members of team Oz-tralia should be rounded up and made to do compulsory hokey-pokey classes - you put your left foot in, you take you left foot out, you do the hokey-pokey and you shake it all about - and so on preferably for several hours a session, especially on 40 degrees heat days.
    Or maybe 10,000 times so that we reluctants can really be re-programmed to master the required attitude

  9. Now "Tony Abbott has talked up his ability as a cricket sledger". What's next? His profound skill as a foul-mouthed bully?

    1. UC,
      In terms of verbal displays of an abysmal lack of respect for ethics, decency or legality, Tony has already gone way beyond espousing the virtue of the verbal sledge.
      At a press gig last year he not just unrepentantly but proudly told of his own violent and sneaky cheating in committing willful assault on the sports field (coward punching in rugby scrums).
      He called his illegal assault 'best and fairest' conduct.

  10. Miss Pitty Pat...I posted this today over on The Pub blog...I think we are on the same page with this mob of "never has beens".

    " Last night after abandoning the ABC’s. “Carousing by fireworks-light”, we watched a DVD. of “Francesco’s Italy..Top to Toe” old ABC. program…where this “swarvo” ; Francesco goes swanning about the country in his Alfa-Romeo Spyder….a pretty car…and I’m now thinking, as I look at the cover of that DVD. Hey!…How come we don’t build things like that car here?…there are a heap of fantastic looking cars and machinery built in Italy…and it has very few natural resources….how come we can’t build these things?
    Well, you know why?…because our dumb, stupid, short-sighted big-business bullshit artists and shit-for-brains LNP. govt’ won’t invest in our young people’s creativity!
    They’re no smarter in Italy, or anywhere else for that matter..They don’t have some magical, singular design gene..It’s just that they respect the imaginative mind of the creative-design person…their young are surrounded by art and appreciative history…not ground into the dirt by “bottom-line” opportunists and turd-eating LNP. dullards whose only obedience is to a foreign national or foreign corp’ that milks the young of this country and discards the creative spirit like it was an empty cardboard cup!
    Damn!!…we have to get rid of them..and keep them out for ever! "

    1. Yes, Jaycee the dull mind seems to be exalted in this country which brings me to Abbott's cheerful admission that he had absolutely no game skills when playing cricket at Oxford but was a skilled 'sledger'. He could not play but he was good at abusing others to put them off their game.

      Now that is a dull mind at work in my not-so-humble opinion.

      What really annoys me though is that Abbott must think that such contrived candour will impress us.

      Abbott must think that we are as dull-minded as he is.

      Miss PP

  11. Yes. We do what we always do. In confidential times of number-counting and narrowly-avoided leadership challenges we take a public opportunity to demand a profession of faith and repledging of loyalty to the ring. And reiterate the timeless bon mottoes: "Boss, the plan, the plan." And this winsome and selfless gifting of a country entire unto the external world is all about you, and for you, strengthened and secured people of Australia!

  12. Who wrote this shit?

    1. Depends which 'shit' you mean.
      The main post was written by the author of the site, DP.
      The quotations of regurgitated slogans printed in the ruperts' telly-crap were attributed to the current prime-minister, but may have been penned by an uninspired underling or even randomly generated using a basic template.
      Your own contribution is attributed to anonymous(they get around).


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