The pond has seen real weird.
Like a Danish western, funded as a co-pro with the UK and South Africa, and shot in South Africa, but with Monument Valley peaks CGI'd into the backgrounds of the wide shots in a way which insults intelligence, geography, South Africa, Utah and Arizona.
Throw in some Morricone references and a vengeance plot with some mighty silly twists (like the baddie shooting four townsfolk for failing to rustle up his brother's killer in two hours), and you're talking mighty weird, if also strangely beguiling (Eva Green as a mute? Now there's a twist - go on you can read the Variety review here).
But bugger the pond if The Salvation doesn't look like a straight 'by the numbers' outing up against the weirdness known as the Abbott government.
Yes like everyone else outside the world of boofheads, the pond had to scurry off to get a dictionary definition of the concept.
It turned out it was just macho strutting of the blustering second rate bullying kind, the sort of carry on you'd expect in a Danish western ...
But it managed to score a front page in the tree killer edition of one wretched rag:
The half-baked, inept bully even muffed his lines. You bet you are, you bet I am.
WTF? But it did remind the pond of Moir's immortal series of cartoons of the 'yam what I yam' man:
It turns out the boofhead has been applying this tactic, this 'technique', to any policy matter doing the rounds.
Is there a single fuckwit on the planet who would endorse this sort of galumphing folly?
Glad you asked:
Yes, if you manage to get in a lucky king hit, make sure when the foe is lying unconscious on the ground, give him a bloody hard right to the head ... then see if he wants to keep playing the game.
Double down. More shirtfronts right up to the start of the G20 on the 1st December?
Abbott v Putin for the next month or so?
Talk about a mis-match.
But at least there's a single 'bromance' fuckwit on the planet who likes Abbott's boofhead style ...
What's the catch?
There must be a catch? No one could be this dumbly provocative without a point, surely ...
Well, it turns out that there was a real cunning to this art of distraction.
While The Age was celebrating on its tree killer front page, the boofhead was off doing what he does best, which is dogwhistling and shirtfronting the planet and climate science, and that was the real story of the day:
The rest of that story is here at The Graudian with links - the rag even took the trouble to dig up a past quote where the two faced one spoke with forked tongue:
“I regard myself as a conservationist,” he said. “Frankly, we should rest lightly on the planet and I’m determined to ensure that we do our duty by the future here.”
Rest lightly on the planet?
Here is a man in deep denial in relation to climate science, the role of fossil fuels, and what might happen in the future.
Is there an ironic juxtaposition which might explain how the pond ended up in a Danish western? Alongside a verbally armed and dangerous boofhead?
Yep, that about does it. Shirtfront Putin, and shirtfront the planet and shirtfront the oceans ... the man's a real King Canute.
You can read the Graudian story about the sea level here, but what was really dispiriting this Tuesday morning was listening to Greg Hunt, that lickspittle forelock tugging lackey pretending that he and the government were actually doing something about climate science ... as opposed to celebrating coal and demonising renewals ...
You can listen to it here in Greg Hunt says Australia will meet its carbon reduction target.
Perhaps the most dispiriting aspect?
Chris Uhlmann didn't have the wit to ask Hunt the naked absurdity, the profound contradiction, between all Hunt's empty mouthings and platitudes, and what Abbott was saying and doing about coal ...
Did Hunt think coal is good for humanity and is going to be around for the next century? Who knows? Uhlmann didn't know how to do a shirtfront ...
The ABC's not the ABC the pond once knew, and Uhlmann now makes each morning a half hour of radio misery ...
Meanwhile, there was Mark Kenny explaining how it was right and just and inevitable that Abbott would sing a song of praise for coal, and you can read it - that's if you want to reward the Fairfaxians with a click - in Coal comfort for Tony Abbott, with the only concern the issue of China suddenly dropping an extra burden on coal, and what that might mean for the free trade agreement, and how Abbott might shirtfront China and cosy up to Japan with an easy handball and .... dear sweet long absent lord, just how far down the rabbit hole is it possible to go?
Nothing to see here?
Nothing to fucking see here, Mark Kenny?
May the rising seas sweep away your first born ...
Never mind, it's just a Danish western and there's a boofhead bully to hand to dispense a rough kind of justice and no doubt he's hoping to ride away with Eva Green in the final reel ...
Now while some cartoonists took the easy mark with the shirtfront routine, at least David Pope had the sense to look further afield and punt deep into the back pocket.
Oh WTF, it's just a boofhead game, who cares what bit of nonsense might mean. Just look at the cartoon:
(and more Pope here).
Yes, that's a reference to jolly Joe shirt fronting the ANU for daring to go against the tide of the boofhead bullying headkickers when it comes to fossil fuels ...
You can read that story at the Graudian in Coalition accused of 'bullying' ANU after criticism of fossil fuel divestment.
Why accused? They're self-confessed, proud, defiant bullies, ever ready to give Putin, the ANU, climate scientists and anyone else in the road a damned good shirtfront ...
Well let's see how the bully Abbott handles things if Putin turns up. Will he be out in the street with the Ukrainian protestors in a proud public display of anger? Or will the Queensland plods do their thing with the water cannon?
Ah, that notion of a Danish western can really fuck with the mind ... especially when it's shot in South Africa ...
Is there anything else?
Well yes, since you asked and wanted to talk some more about the surreal world of Danish westerns.
Here in NSW it seems that the NSW Police Service decided to get into bed with the Catholic church.
You can read the story in various places but here's as good a starting point as any - NSW Police Service warned twice that intelligence sharing arrangement with Catholic Church on child abuse claims was illegal, documents show.
It's mind boggling stuff, and it also turned up in The Graudian here.
Is there anything else?
Well yes today is Caterist day and they're out on the prowl:
And anyway, the pond is interested in genuine loons, not half-baked humbuggers hidden away in an institute, and only let out on Tuesdays, and this week has already has seen an epic winner, and once again ... envelope please ... it's attention seeking wannabe reptile Sharri Markson.
Now it's not the pond's business to hand out links to the reptiles, so how about instead we hand out a link to Honi Soit, and Bit rich for The Oz to cry indoctrination, and if you can get behind the Crikey paywall, you can read Note to Sharri: students aren't passive information sponges, and if you can't you can always read the Graudian's Student indoctrination claim 'unethical and untrue', say media lecturers.
What a wonder Markson is, doing her best by adopting the guise of an undercover investigative reporter, to show the dangers of drinking the lizard Oz kool aid.
Truth to tell, the reptiles are now so used to their bullying propaganda sheet and its indoctrinating ways, they can't imagine a world where someone might question or deviate from the company line.
And so Markson continues on her merry way, on a one woman mission to make Laura Bingle look like a rocket scientist by way of comparison ...
It's only Tuesday and already the pond is feeling exhausted. Moir captured the mood, and more Moir here.
It's back to neo-realist Danish westerns for the pond.
Monument Valley in South Africa?
Why not, it seems logical when you look at the reptiles, sill drinking their kool aid, while Tony Abbott shirtfronts the world ...