Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Another day of headline bliss in paradise ...

Oh it's just another day of headline paradise:

With a bit of pop psychology for good measure:

But what if there's nothing inside Hockey's head, except a glowing neon saying "pillage, pillage, pillage"?

What about the Daily Terror?

Oh noz, not the tabloids. And was at it too:

Tony Abbott was confronted this morning by an angry pensioner who says she works on an adult sex line to make ends meet, while hitting the airwaves trying to sell his tough budget. 
The woman’s story was enough to make listeners sit up and take notice — but it was the prime minister’s reaction, caught on video, that is likely gain more widespread attention. 
As caller Gloria introduced herself, saying “I work on an adult sex line to make ends meet”, Mr Abbott winked and smiled, apparently in the direction of ABC Radio host Jon Faine (off camera). 
As she continues, Mr Abbott broadened his grin for a few seconds — then looked straight at the camera and swiftly composed his expression. 
The PM, who was beset by accusations of sexism before the election campaign, then tried to deal with Gloria’s stinging criticism.

Eek, but it so happens that just below that story there was a convenient guide:

“Food, electricity, firewood, Christmas, birthday presents to my grandchildren or should we all just die and get out of your way?” 
He responded by saying he “absolutely” understood she was doing it tough and insisted she would still pocket carbon tax compensation even when it is axed. 
“But you don’t give a stuff though do you.” 

Say what? Are we in the company of a proven liar, routinely caught lying?

 4. NON-COMMITTAL STATEMENTS “Noncommittal statements are red flags — ‘pretty sure’, ‘probably’, ‘must have’ and, my least favourite, ‘maybe’.” 
5. QUALIFYING STATEMENTS “Cohen Wood says these expressions — ‘to be honest’, ‘there is nothing to worry about’, ‘I hate to tell you this’ — are often signal that the person is uncomfortable with his or her next statement.”

Absolutely. Can we throw in a wink and a nod and a nudge nudge?

Winking Man: Is, uh,...Is your pensioner wife a goer, eh? Know whatahmean, know whatahmean, nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more, wink wink? 
Pensioner: I, uh, I beg your pardon? 
Winking Man: Your, uh, your pensioner wife, does she go, eh, does she go, eh? On the phone eh? Bit of a goer on the phone eh?  
Pensioner: (flustered) Well, she sometimes 'goes', yes. 
Winking Man: Aaaaaaaah bet she does, I bet she does, say no more, say no more, know whatahmean, nudge nudge, wink wink? 
Pensioner : (confused) I'm afraid I don't quite follow you. 
Winking Man: Follow me. Follow me. That's good, that's good! A nod's as good as a wink to a blind bat! A bat on the telephone ...
Pensioner: Are you, uh,...are you selling something? 
Winking Man: SELLING! Very good, very good! Ay? Ay? Ay? (pause) Oooh! Ya wicked Ay! Just a bit of a budget. Selling a budget. And a bit of the other. The other ay? Wicked Ay! Oooh hooh! Say No MORE! 
Pensioner: Well, I, uh.... 
Winking Man: Is, your uh, is your wife a sport, ay? Sporty on the telephone? 
Pensioner: Um, she likes sport, yes! 
Winking  Man: I bet she does, I bet she does!  Goes the biff. In the scrum. Digit in the bum? Hand on the scrotum? Ay? Socks it to 'em. On the telephone, in the field. Bit of a mauler in a maul?
Pensioner: As a matter of fact she's very fond of cricket. 
Winking Man: 'Oo isn't? Tweaks the ball something fierce eh? Always standing at silly leg? Bowls a maiden over? Likes games, eh? Knew she would. Likes games, eh? She's been around a bit, been around? On the field, on the phone ...
Pensioner: She has traveled, yes. She's from Melbourne. (pause) 
Winking Man: SAY NO MORE!! Melbourne. Saynomore, saynomore, saynomore, cobber. Likes to ruck eh, take it up the guts, hand balls on the phone? Bit of biff on the field! Does good phone? Do you ask her for good phone?
Pensioner : I wasn't going to! 
Winking Man: Oh! Well, never mind. Dib dib? Is your uh, is your wife interested, ay? 'Photographs, ay', he asked him knowlingly? 
Pensioner : Photography? 
Winking man : Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more? Snaps on the Skype? Ay? Wicked ...
Pensioner: Holiday snaps, eh? 
Winking Man : They could be, they could be taken on holiday. Candid, you know, CANDID photography? You could Skype 'em ay, on the phone? If you had decent broadband ...

Lordy, lordy where did that come from? A variant on that sketch first aired in October 1969, and even then it was thought it was only a send-up of ageing dinosaurs soon to disappear from the world.

Sorry, now for something completely different:

Stella from Geelong said she had voted Liberal since she was 18 but she took the PM to task for lying about introducing new taxes and making her feel like an “idiot”. 
“What I cannot accept is myself and other intelligent voters being condescended to by a politician who won’t answer a straight question,” she told him. 
“That’s the last thing I would want to do,” Mr Abbott replied, conceding the fuel excise, which will go up as he restores indexation, is a tax. 
“I don’t want him to play games with words. Just come out and be honest,” the caller declared.

Oh surely someone will say something in favour of the man who thought that common assault - going the biff on the footy field - was some kind of badge of honour?

Yep, he mightn't be the best bet to have alongside you at Gallipoli.

But surely the Daily Terror can save the day?

No, all that means is that the lizards at the Terror don't read the reptiles at the Oz:

And who can blame them? What a turgid, boring read it usually is, full of ideological zealots of the first water.

WTF? How did that turn up? The pond has repeatedly said "sssh, whatever you do, don't mention climate change".

Any last thoughts?

Sorry, you can't have your country back.

The man with the smirk and the wink and the fisticuffs is in charge ...


  1. Some choice recent Bolt comments on Education...

    Bolt Comments ‏@boltcomments

    Universities these days do not serve the purpose of educating people. They are mere institutions where people gather to do nothing

    We really do need to toughen up in our society with regards to anti social behaviour. I believe that Corporal Punishment WILL return

    Pol Pot, Adolph Hitler started in exactly the same way as the Green’s/ALP’s socialist alternatiive (Get Up).

  2. And on wimmin...

    [Feminism] appears to me to be more about female supremacy at the expense of men

    Gender - the last refuge of the incompetent.

    Andrew,have you ever seen a mare in charge of 40 stallions?

    Women don’t seem to understand that men, unlike women, do not suffer from such extreme career-related jealousies.

  3. And on a disabled man appearing on Q&A...

    Many [in the Q&A audience] were strident whingers, one man was at death’s door with several chronic diseases.

    Why on earth would the ABC find the most disabled man in Australia

    What’s Q&A;?

    Closing down the ABC is long overdue. Let the Marxist Leninist pay for their own Communist Broadcasting tool.


    What a bundle of laughs Bolt's moderated comments are.

    1. Thanks for this. It's a community service roughly equivalent to going over the top at the Somme ...

  4. It's nice to know that the most deserving students still get their tertiary education for free:

    1. Students of callibre, perhaps Twiggy?

  5. The Winking man and the Pensioner is going straight into the funny folder.A variant with a topper punch line par excellence.(mad applause). And the last 24 hours have given a whole new variant to Australia:You're standing in it.
    Listening to Hockey and Abbott all week, ranting three word mantras and driving fire engines through fences to save us from ourselves and then catching Chris Bowen's reasonably coherent,intelligent and engaging take-down of Hockey in the budget reply at today's press club address just makes one think.- How the fuck did we get to here!
    P.S. It was noted that Bowen,like his opposites,also adheres to "sssh! whatever you do,don't mention climate change" Lest you be hung from the nearest lamp post.(current temp. Melb.21/5/14 @10.40pm.-18*C)

  6. If the Telegraph is serious about cheer-leading for this pathetic mob, and it is hard with absolutely nothing to cheer about other than kicking a few powerless people, it may have to try a new approach.

    Downward Envy is, of course, the old standby of Hate Radio. Until the emergence of Frontline it did very well out of tabloid TV, too. Nowadays beat-ups seemed to be spotted more readily. In the US some of the big names like Rush are starting to feel the pinch of falling ratings. Many of us look forward to the reckoning for Jones and Hadley.

    The problem for the Tele is the timing. Singling out DSP recipients at the very time that the Budget sinks the boot into just about every disadvantaged demographic is worse than just appalling taste.

    Their problem is that just about the entire community has some relative affected by the Budget decisions, such that even in National diehard areas, people are crying 'enough', 'liar' and a lot more unkindly things. Now is not the time to sink the boot on another front. With a quick passing of the Godwin's jar, don't they remember what happened to the all-conquering Hitler when he opened up a second front with a war on Russia?

    The anger's not going to be curtailed by such action. Instead it may be expanded.


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