Thursday, May 30, 2013

Too many bites and all you get is liquorice all sorts ...

(Above: more David Pope here).

Okay, the pond will bite.

If Eddie Maguire isn't a racist, then dialectical analysis allows only one other result. He's a dickhead. But sadly this vilifies dicks and heads, so let's just agree he's a Collingwood supporter.

Okay, the pond will bite.

Is there anything more weird, off-putting, and slightly nauseating than the sight of Tony Abbott shedding crocodile tears over the departure of Martin Ferguson?

Well now you mention it, yes there is. Here's the digital edition of the lizard Oz, and its tree killer version:

Labor lion? A union hack turns into a Labor lion? Are we talking The Wizard of Oz here?

A man of absolutely no distinction, and with the cheek to line up in his farewell speech and blather on about class war rhetoric one more time?

Now you might, being kindly and considerate, call that merely an example of Stockholm syndrome.

As for the pond, the day that a Labor politician leaves the stage deploring the actual class warfare being actually conducted by the likes of American Chairman Rupert, and Gina "two dollars a day is enough for any African" Rinehart will be the time the pond has a fainting fit ...

Okay, the pond will bite.

Was it only on May 16th that Tony Abbott announced that there was a "budget emergency"? And then a couple of weeks later he conspires with the Labor government to tickle the till for the major parties? Lord knows, the Labor government emerges tainted and reeling yet again, but will anyone bother to land a blow on the stench of hypocrisy emanating from Abbott?

Here he is looking sanctimonious, grave and righteous while announcing the emergency (found here):

So what is it? An emergency, or tickle the till time? How the pond looks forward to the day when headlines read Liberal lion leaves the stage ... and yes, we're talking Wizard of Oz ...

It's the Labor party that will wear the pain - way to botch a deal which could have been presented as a reform - but then they didn't think there was a budget emergency, just enough for a little blatant till tickling ...

Okay, the pond will bite.

If there's a budget emergency, why is Tony Abbott prepared to embark on a direct action campaign involving the federal government in a heavy bout of direct expenditure?

Yes Jackie Woods' piece Direct action set to be a Coalition climate headache set the pond to wondering all over again at the responsibility the Murdoch press will bear should the country be confronted by the Abbott follies.

Since Malcolm Turnbull was rolled as leader, the Coalition has worked hard to undermine political and community consensus on climate change and how we deal with it. If they win the election, the consequences of that become their problem.
Creating fear and uncertainty about a toxic tax has worked a treat, but the Coalition may find establishing a credible climate policy alternative is a different ball game. 
Especially if your side can't agree global warming is even happening.

Why did the pond bite? Why didn't someone say that inside the chocolate was some liquorice?

Okay, the pond will bite, but the joke is wearing very thin.

Is there any greater indication of a mind in serious, irreversible decline than Paul "generally grumpy" Sheehan scribbling Presenter gets a roasting as baking turns to bonking, and leaves a bad taste in the mouths of his fans.

The pond doesn't know what to say, and most likely wouldn't say it if it did. It's that damned sourdough bread fixation again, right up there with magic water. Just avert the eyes, and walk on by ...

We'd like to shed a tear about a great and noble mind o'erthrown, but how did that work with the Scarecrow? Or Eddie Maguire ...

Okay, the pond will bite, but this is the last bloody time.

What do you mean, we should all read Elizabeth Farrelly scribbling Wheels turn to what women really want?

She starts off exuding concern about the local heavily subsidised car industry, and decides she might end up buying a VW Tiguan? A hideous CUV manufactured in Germany?

Stop it, there's no way the pond is going to bite again. Even Sideshow Bob reached the end of the rakes in the face routine.

What's that you say? For the sake of symmetry and rounding off, and closure, we should go back to where we started and take in the thoughts of the Bolter?

What's that?

It isn't Eddie's fault, it isn't the hapless 13 year old girl's fault, it's all the fault of the uppity blacks for daring to celebrate in an Indigenous Round of football?

Once again the uppity blacks have ruined the country? It's all the fault of the new racism?

What's that? It's outside the HUN paywall, and free to read, so you too can read this sort of drivel in End this disgrace and get on with the game of footy:

Enough. We are all humans and all apes. We should start seeing each other as individuals, rather than representatives of some "race".

Yes, it's easy enough for that dolt Bolter to say, but sorry, the comedy of seeing him do a Spartacus routine - we are all Spartacus after all - doesn't overcome the sorry sight the man blaming indigenous folk for what happened or for there being an indigenous round.

It seems we must all be white bread of the approved Bolter style. Is there any irony in the Bolter in his previous opinion piece going about the business yet again of demonising boat people? (Labor's great policy disaster revealed to the world). This time it's Africans coming - no, not the white Africans that have filled Perth to the brim, the other Africans - and the usual talk of Sri Lankan killers and Afghan rapists ...

Oh yes, you can take all that mealy mouthed mush about seeing people as individuals, and instead start seeing them as representatives of an invading horde which is about to swamp Australia.

Is there a sorrier sight? Well yes, how about the sight of a self-confessed ape being a leading columnist for the HUN ...

Get the gone, ape, the pond will bite no more ...

(Below: you ought to be ashamed of yourself).


  1. I know you despise "social media" (or SoMe), DP, but have a gander at this Steve Bell cartoon. See, there are 81 shares to FB, 21 to Twitter, only THREE to Google+, but there are 175 Comments. Which leaves the conclusion that a Comments section, as rubbishy as it may be, attracts a lot of attention.
    Now, more to the point, Guardian would like to know (I'm sure) if Commenters are more, or less, likely to be paid-up subscribers.
    That's my dilemma, whether or not to shell out to support the Oz component. It's a much better look & feel than anything local on offer. Especially when one may be distracted by a clip of Mark Gatiss as Dot Crawford in Psychobitches.
    PS, the guardianOz piece Firestorm is first class.

  2. We should be told what the Bolters origin is we may get to learn how his history is similar to the ABETZ clan because we do know there was Nazi rats in Holland.
    To have these horrible racist preaching about our indigenous people a race of people that have been treated so badly by Europeans colonising their land and adding to the lands of the world that have been exploited and in most cases left in chaos.

  3. I think despise is a tad strong Trevor, just awkward for an anon blog. Steve Bell excellent as usual, but I didn't think the Guardian was thinking of a paywall just yet. I know Bild and The Sun are doing it, and maybe they will and it's nice to support the Guardian but I salve my conscience by clicking on the odd ad and giving the revenue a little kicker. But you do have to subscribe to comment, and I think for reasons of moderation etc etc that's fair. Personally I started a blog so I could avoid writing a zillion indignant comments on stories and the commentariat, and now I get it out of the way in a short burst in the morning.

    I've been running a joke about News Ltd, but that's because the Daily Terror paywall is a bit of a joke. The Bolter piece referenced above was for a moment behind it, then it wasn't and in any case there the Bolter was, being his usual hideous self, in full public view on the HUN. You have to feel sorry for the loons doing the oyster and the lobster dance ... and yes it's interesting to see the newspaper world slowly but surely finding their way into interactive media. Early days, a bit like CD Roms, but a sign of the times and where things might be heading, where value add becomes the reason to sign up ...

  4. Fair enough, DP. I've had another nudge at The Guardian: too local for Australian lefties?
    Seems to me that politics and journalism are running on parallel tracks. I mean, politics in a liberal democracy is built around the necessities that (1) politicians are known for being real, flesh-and-blood, actual people, and, (2) politicians have the skills to change people's behaviours. Same goes for journalists if they are to engage with politics to benefit of all. So, successful journalists have to be known as real people and they have to be able to get people to pay up.
    Chicago Sun-Times lays off its photo staff is very interesting. For one, the embedded video is high quality and watchable for being so. A commenter asked why the photographers couldn't have been switched over to shooting video. (!)
    Will be interesting to see the skills being recruited to the Gu'n-Oz.


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