Sunday, May 05, 2013

Memo Cori Bernardi: be alert and alarmed by the deviants at Foxtel ...

(Above: WTF Corey Bernardi!)

In its Sunday meditation and review of the week, the pond almost overlooked an alarming development of serious Concern to Corey Bernardi - so serious that it needs a capital "C".

Bernardi, it will be remembered, deplored where gay marriage might lead:

"The next step, quite frankly, is having three people or four people that love each other being able to enter into a permanent union endorsed by society - or any other type of relationship," Senator Bernardi said. 
"There are even some creepy people out there... [who] say it is OK to have consensual sexual relations between humans and animals. 
"Will that be a future step? In the future will we say, 'These two creatures love each other and maybe they should be able to be joined in a union'. 
"I think that these things are the next step." (Bernardi resigns after bestiality comment)

Yes, yes, it's the rantings of a crazed fundamentalist loon, but even worse, Bernardi couldn't get to the real root of the problem.

It turned out that gay marriage is innocent. Run wild and free gay marriage.

It turns out that being lured to watch Foxtel is the real root of the problem.

Rupert Murdoch and Telstra. Smut pedlars to Australia ....

Reminder: Do Not Show a Man Having Sex With a Pig on Your Billboard It never ends well.

WTF. Now get into 'em Corey.

And while the ad's been celebrated all over the place, if you develop a taste for Ad Freak, here's a more general link. Freaky stuff.

And another thing.

The pond first heard bits of  Celebrity, Gambling and Tom Waterhouse on Friday night on RN, and then they had the cheek to repeat it on Sunday (you can access it for downloading or streaming at the link, but wearing a cilice for a week - one that draws blood - is an acceptable alternative).

But by then the pond was prepared, and so devised a party game for your pleasure.

Here's what you do. Whenever Jason Di Rosso or Cassie McCullagh or "celebrity studies" academic Sean Redmond lead with yet another explanation as to why Tom Waterhouse, his ads and his presence on TV produce a "surprising" negative response, the first to give a satisfactory response wins the round.

Example: It's penis envy.

No, it's just that he's an irritating shit.

Example: It's agism v the young

No, it's just that he's an irritating shit.

Example: It's tall poppy syndrome.

No, it's just that he's an irritating shit.

And so on and  on. Trust the pond, there are plenty of other explanations provided, all deserving the same quick-witted response.

Keep your fingers on the buzzer. Remember first in is always best dressed.

You can also expand this game to cover ABC programs.

Example: The List: A set of astonishing insights.

No, it's just really irritating shit.

Example: RN Drive. A mind-expanding insight into the universe ...

No, it's just really irritating shit.

Sometimes the Facebook memes doing the rounds never lost their freshness, no matter how old.

So there you go.  A fun game for the whole family. It's guaranteed hours and hours of entertainment, right up there with Mousetrap, though you might have to change "shit" to "crap" if the youngsters are invited to play ....

If you want to score bonus points, you might note that the AFR, in its weekend edition, noted that Waterhouse's business plan involved spending some $20 million a year annually on advertising and marketing, with a customer base of 160,000 and turnover of annual betting around the $300 million mark, only 3.5% of the corporate online bookmaking market in Australia, and that Sportsbet and Sportingbet and Betfair and other big corporate bookmakers have a much bigger share of the $2.2 billion in betting turnover, and that Waterhouse can only aim at an 8-9 per cent gross profit margin from which comes taxes, fees to racing and sports bodies and marketing and staff costs, and so to date he hasn't turned a cent in profit, or so the AFR says, and one of his rivals has estimated that on this business model with that heavy marketing spend, he needs to turn over annually something close to $1 billion to make a profit ...

Which in all is pretty bizarre when you think about it, but it's easily gazumped. Because that advertising really is irritating shit.

Now back to that alert and alarmed Foxtel matter:

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