Sunday, April 28, 2013

The Devine turns gooey three minute egg ...


And another thing.

You can see in today's Sunday Terror the shock horror story Couples having girls 'demand abortions'.

Note the plural in the header. It's couples and girls with an 's' ...

Now let's travel south to read the HUN in action with the shock horror story Couple abort girl because they wanted a boy.

Suddenly it's singular and specific ... couple and girl ... and it's turned into an exclusive.


Now it's exactly the same story with the same illustration of Dr Mark Hobart, but at last the pond has worked out what makes an "exclusive" in Murdoch land ...

The use of the singular, or as Star Trekkies might have it, a capacity for singularity ...

Mystery solved. Delete an 's', or change a word, and suddenly you're in exclusive territory ...

And another thing, because the long absent lord help us, we just couldn't let this Sunday go by without noting Miranda the Devine's most excellent Loved or loathed, Gwynneth Paltrow is beautiful ...

It seems the Devine, who routinely hates greenies, loves Gwyneth, even if she doesn't know how to spell her name:


Now you might think it was just the subbie having fun with the header, but if you click on the image, you'll see the Devine started off with Gwynneth ...

Perhaps she subscribed to Goop, but then when she realised what an outrageous exercise it was, she flung it in her computer trash can without reading it ...

Is the pond being picky? Not really. Only a few days ago we heard an ABC newsreader on prime time ABC television news read a story with a line penned by an ABC journo referring to something as being very unique ...

It heralded the imminent collapse of civilisation as we know it ...

But back to the Devine. Okay, it's a soft story on a slow news day. Some in the commentariat resort to writing about their cats or their dogs (or exclusively about their cat or dog).

The Devine embarks on a kindly defence of "Gwynneth", dubbed by an attention-seeking rag the most beautiful woman in the world, which inter alia turns into a discussion of haters:

“Annoying” is the it word for haters who can’t be bothered to justify their nastiness. 
Under the anonymity of the internet they give full vent to schoolyard viciousness that turns much of the social media into a cesspit... 
...The People magazine crown will only enrage the haters, who will no doubt devote endless blog posts to why Paltrow is not the world’s most beautiful woman. 
But why the perverse need to hate strangers?

Yes, the woman who routinely hates, who routinely rolls out the hate across the full to overflowing intertubes has gone as soft as a three-minute boiled egg, as muddled as a muddle-headed wombat.

What is it about working for a cesspit like the Daily Terror that allows people to give themselves airs and graces and righteousness, up against social media?

After all, this is the woman who wrote:

If politicians are intent on whipping up a lynch mob to divert attention from their own culpability, it is not arsonists who should be hanging from lamp-posts but greenies (Green ideas must take blame for deaths).

Oh dear, you know what's coming don't you?

Yes a link to Green Celebrities, as in Hollywood Goes Green: Gwyneth Paltrow:

"My mom has always been conscious of the environment and health issues. When I was growing up, we would go to farmers markets and even had wheatgrass in the kitchen. She started a curbside recycling program in Santa Monica, California, in the '70s, and each week I drove with her to the recycling center," Paltrow said to author Christopher Gavigan in his book Healthy Child, Healthy World ...
Having been raised eco-conscious, Paltrow is raising her own children to be eco-conscious. And the best kind of green living is actual green living!

Even had wheatgrass! Eco-conscious ...

Oh hang her, hang her high and hard, and from the nearest lamp-post please.

Oh wait, that's a little too naked, a little too obvious. Here's how you do a hate-fest that gets you out of jail with the geese at the Press Council:

If politicians are intent on whipping up a lynch mob to divert attention from their own culpability, it is not life style magazines who should be hanging from lamp-posts but that greenie Gwynneth Paltrow ...

There, that's how it's done. It's not the Devine that's the hater of greenie Gwynneth, it's the politicians ...

Who knows what hold Paltrow has over the Devine for her to turn so fickle and soft, like a teddy bear or a doll with a button you push that makes the toy say "I love you Gwynneth" ...

But it does produce a final flurry of foolishness, because the Devine feels the need to answer that question she asked about why she and all the other hacks in Murdoch la la land have the perverse need to hate strangers:

It may be hardwired into humans, according to a new book about the Amanda Knox case _ the 20-year-old American acquitted of murdering her British flatmate in Italy. “Experiments show that when some people punish others, the reward part of their brain lights up like a Christmas tree,” writes Douglas Preston, author of Trial By Jury. He says some people are born to be “punishers” and in our evolutionary hunter-gatherer past, they were needed to enforce social norms. 
Anthropologists call this witch-hunt “altruistic punishment”. 

Punishers! Enforce the social norms. Fight the nanny staters and the greenies.

And we're not talking about a Stan Lee comic hero, we're talking the Devine.

The Devine writes all this po-faced, yet she nestles cheek and jowl with that prime hater, fearer and loather, punishing Piers "Akker Dakker" Akerman, and not so far away from that Blairite deliverer of "bleaghs",  punitive Tim Blair, while her Melbourne stable-mate is the pugnacious punitive primitive punisher Andrew 'the Bolter' Bolt ... And that's before we get on to the squawking parrots in the allegedly up-market lizard Oz ...

Got a random stranger you need a random hate fest dumped on, preferably a greenie or a leftie or a pinko commie union pervert, but hey in a pinch anyone at all who disagrees in any way at all with the Bolter?

Call on the Bolter and he'll dump that hate fest all over the web ...

And let's not underestimate the hate power of the Devine, a consummate hater, and not just of greenies. Try riding a bicycle anywhere near her ...

And now, the noble hate-infested column she once had seems like it's been o'erthrown, and she thinks she can beguile the web with this sort of lovey-dovey group huggy nonsense:

So maybe we should just congratulate Paltrow for being pretty and move on.

What? We should congratulate the Devine for turning into a three minute boiled egg and move on?

That would make you the mug punter, a Tom Waterhouse mark, a bit like a John Singleton.

Stay tuned, because we'll soon be back to the hate fest.

The pond has a running bet with Tom that the Devine will erupt in a fury about new swimming pool regulations.

Oh how she hates swimming pool fencing regulations when she and every other Australian knows it's their god-given right to drown a child in their pool, and no bureaucrat should stand in their way with pettifogging restrictions ...

You think the pond is joking? Try festering foaming hatred and abuse of the nanny state and knee jerkers in Nanny state helps us to drown us in our own stupidity back in 2009 ...

Now it's true that the latest swimming pool regulations have been introduced by big Bazza's Liberal government, but the pond is betting the Devine won't be able to hold the nanny state hate in. Watch out big Bazza ...

Yep, Gwynneth has no idea how lucky she is. Buy a lottery ticket Gwynneth, you'll never have it or your name spelled this good again ...

(Below: is the Devine a one minute egg, top left, or three minutes, next to top left, or the egg on the bottom right, fifteen minutes of hard boiling and hating? Discuss, or head off to the Food Lab for a discussion of Perfect Boiled Eggs and tell 'em Gwynneth sent you).




1 comment:

  1. And we have to put up with the ABC using these brainless twits spruiking about politics when they speak with forked tongue to suit their purpose how they hold down a job in this field if judgement was made on how they performed their job not one of Ruperts minions would get a work it is only that they write the crap that this evil man promotes and I say evil because of his involvement in promoting the overthrowing of governments and the telling of lies to achieve his goals

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