Sunday, February 03, 2013

It's about time the pond got 10% of the Sunday action ...

(Above: forget Dueteronomy 22:5, let's start the day by giving eternal thanks for the right of men to wear frocks).

The Pellists really have an inspirational leader, a man with a key eye for a frock.

If you're worried about cross-dressing, it probably means you haven't caught up with the news that these days in sensible countries with a sensible secular attitude, women can wear pants and suits, and men can wear a gorgeous gown.

Or you might be a Catholic, somehow imagining that the Catholic church has a solution for all those clergy who enjoy a decent frock:

The good news is that there is hope for cross-dressers and those who struggle with other forms of gender dysphoria. They can make progress toward the goal of freeing themselves from these abnormal tendencies if they receive the proper treatment and make a conscious commitment to stick with it. The first step is to seek counseling from a qualified professional, preferably an individual who is understanding, compassionate, empathetic and willing to listen. (more drivel here, because there's no hope for Catholics trapped in the dysphoria of stupidity)

Now here's a trick question. Spot the difference in dress:

Yes, Cardinal Pell wears a much more bold and imaginative shade of red, though he really must get his train up to par.

Hey nonnny no, moving along, Cardinal George Pell truly excelled his best conflationary self with this opener in his week-old thoughts for the Sunday Terror:

What is the point of Australia Day? Should it remain like the Queen's Birthday a holiday (long defended by Marxist union leaders) with significance only for a minority; or should we work to broaden and deepen its meaning? (Australia Day)

Marxist union leaders? Instead of corrupt union leaders, out for themselves union leaders, useless or irrelevant union leaders?

The pond hasn't heard that sort of language, blather about Marxists, since the 1950s, and how revealing it is, that the Pellists should still be fighting the battles of the DLP and B. A. Santamaria ...

If Paul Howes is a Marxist, then Moet and Chandon is the drink of the workers (The dilemmas of teaming up with the enemy, behind the paywall but there's just time to sip on the Moet).

Showing a wondrous banality of mind, Pell wants to turn Australia Day into a day of thanksgiving, with people of no faith expressing gratitude for what they have received. (Like Australians have such impoverished imaginations, they shouldn't just stick to stealing Halloween).

We should be expressing gratitude, and indulging in thanksgiving, for getting Pellist thinking on a week old basis for free ...? That's a good reason for gratitude and celebration?

Pass the arsenic.

Meanwhile, in the real world of the United States, L.A. Cardinal Roger Mahony was stripped of any remaining public and administrative duties after the release of thousands of pages of church documents showing he and his aides had conspired in a cover up of the sexual abuse of children by clergy. (Retired Los Angeles cardinal punished over abuse revelations).

And all the Pellists can prattle about is how we should be full of gratitude and thanks. No thanks.

Over at the angry Sydney Anglicans, there's wild excitement at an upcoming conference:

What is it with the graphic artists employed by the angry Anglicans, and the imagery they use?

It immediately reminded the pond of that scene where Bart gets his heart ripped out (here on YouTube)

And is it that far from the idolatrous, heretical imagery of the Catholic church? You know, all that sacred heart stuff:

What a fine upstanding Scandinavian lad that young Jesus was ... and such a neat beard, sets off the blue eyes nicely ...

But we digress, distracted by the way that the angry Anglicans website seems to be growing more desperate and weirder by the day in its quest for some sort of relevance:

After you get past that photo, you discover that the ordination doesn't cover a wide area, at least when it comes to women, with only a couple getting the nod. Which is perhaps just as well because sooner or later they'll bump into the Anglican glass ceiling, and experience work place discrimination when it comes to higher office.

That's the result of a couple of thousand years of  Jensenism, aka the patriarchy. 

But strangely, of late the Jensenists have been uncommonly quiet on site, with Phillip Jensen last heard from back in December bleating about atheists and Christmas here (why he capitalised atheists must remain a mystery), and Peter Jensen is almost out the door, and Michael Jensen's last offering was a blather about women in the ministry finding the room to prophesy (here), as if guilt had finally caught up with him when he heard the news that ordination as usual covered a really narrow area.

So what caught the eye was good old-fashioned capitalism. 

Now old time lingerers amongst the Jensens will remember many long rants about the evils of capitalism. 

As a sampler why not taste Phillip Jensen carrying on about the workers in 2001 with Harsh demands of the workplace on strugglers.

It turns out back then life was sweet for angry Sydney Anglicans:

For me, Australia is an easy and pleasant place to live. A place where you can shop anytime, day or night, for whatever you want.

But not for the chicken shop man:

How sad that a man who lived most of his life under a socialist system that restricted his religion is now living under a capitalist system that also restricts his ability to practice his religion. In Russia it was the government regulations that were restrictive. In Australia it is the unregulated greed of our materialistic system. Either way he can't go to church.

Which brings us to the bazinga, as Sheldon might say.

This week there's yet another plug for the Southern Cross:

Do you like the copy?

In the current economic climate
targeted, effective advertising is more important than ever.

If only the Russian chicken shop man had known all those years ago, the Sydney Anglicans could have taken care of his pressing commercial needs and allowed him time in church, by simply getting him to targeting their flock and sell the sheep his tasty chooks.

The pond mentions this purely in the spirit of community service, because it turns out that for as little as $140 a week you can buy a display ad on the website, or list your job for as little as $40 a week, or bonus knock-down, last minute rush, $150 a month (that's ten bucks off regular weekly pricing, hurry, hurry, don't be late, this offer can't wait).

For that you'll get a splash in front of the 650,000 annual visits and 1.6 million page views at the second most popular church website in Australia. Or so the spruikers assure the punters.

It's yet another timely reminder of why the Anglicans and Catholics always scored the very best building sites for churches, either in the heart of the city, or up on the hill amongst the toffs, so everyone could look down on the mugs below. And why, for all their talk, the Calvinists have always had a lot of time for capitalism.

Surely those who faithfully link to the Anglican website and help drive traffic are now entitled to a 10% commission on sales?

The pond awaits a cheque in the post.

Meanwhile, a reminder to the faithless that much good fun can be had by attending the pages of the Anglican Church League, which routinely sounds alarums and links to disturbing developments in the world. 225 years on - will we be faithful? (and still believe in Adam and Eve as a guide to male and female relationships?) is but one example ... and thanks to the reader who reminded the pond of this treasure ...

Meanwhile, speaking of capitalism and religion, there is of course one cult that knows how to score celebrity and cash, and silence critics, in a way that would make the average angry Anglican envious. One Tom Cruise and you don't need to knock ten bucks off a display ad ...

It's a remarkable sight most days of the week, but amazingly, Transworld, the owner of the UK rights to Lawrence Wright's book on scientology, has decided not to publish it in Britain.

Yet somehow Hadley Freeman in Scientology was inevitable: the lesson of Lawrence Wright's book, Going Clear, can summarise the book on L. Ron Hubbard thusly:

It is easy to mock a religion that is based on the teachings of a – as Wright describes him – priapic, violent, bigamist pulp-fiction writer who experienced his formative revelation while under anaesthetic during a dental operation...

Indeed, it's bloody easy to mock, but not so easy, it turns out, to get a book published in the UK.

But at least we now know the true meaning of freedom of religion ... it's the freedom to arrange for the metaphorical pulping of books before they're even printed. (more on Wright and his book here)

Now that's a scientological achievement right up there with a little heart-crushing capitalism ...

(Below: caution, tomato scientist at work)


  1. According to their website, the Angries gave $10K and encouraged their flock to donate to the Tasmanian diocese for reconstruction after the bushfires. They weren’t quite as generous with their Qld flood appeal – not donating anything themselves and only calling on others to donate. But what of the Gippsland fires? Nothing - not a mention.

    What could explain this difference in response? Perhaps it’s that the Tasmanian diocese is run by like-minded conservative evangelicals whereas the Qld floods occurred in dioceses of a more liberal bent.

    …and Gippsland? The fires down there were in a diocese which recently appointed a gay vicar. So they can go and get fucked.

    Jeebus would be turning in his grave.

  2. I note that in the Anglican's rag there is a vacancy for a Chaplain at Lithgow Correctional Centre.
    Strikes me that there would be candidates within the ranks but if desperate you'd think they'd call Cardinal Pell for a name or two... or fifty.

  3. Thanks for that Brian, the pond had forgotten the reason why the bushfires hit Gippsland and the roads are in a state of disrepair.

    The Anglican Bishop of Gippsland has defended his decision to appoint an openly gay priest to a local parish, saying he has acted appropriately.
    Bishop John McIntyre, says his decision to appoint Reverend David Head, who formerly held a position within a Melbourne parish, to the parish of Heyfield is in line with the policy of his diocese.

    Jeebus might be turning in his grave, but the old testament was big on hate and hating and haters, and isn't it great to see that splendid old Testament haters, angry Calvinists and angry Anglicans can maintain the rage ... There's only a hair's breadth between them and the Ministry of Fire ...


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