Anyone thinking about leaving a message for local pond federal representative Anthony Albanese, who heads off to his website for a point of contact, forget it.
What you get is the splash at the top, and a complete lack of functionality and blank white space for the rest. Not that the pond's got anything against white spacing, but it isn't the usual thing you expect of a web site.
Now if you click hard enough you get this:
The contact button didn't actually work when we tried it, but perhaps that's like giving pedestrians a button to use on traffic lights. It doesn't change the cycle of the lights, but it makes them feel better as they pound away, doing something. Maybe that's the point of Albo's website, pound away for a few minutes, and then go away.
Do you feel better punk? Well do you ...?
Who knows what you might want to talk to Albo about.
There might be the matter of him lining up behind former Chairman Rudd in the battle of the octagon, the ground and the pound.
There might be the matter of a second airport for Sydney. The last we heard there was talk of lifting the night flight curfews at the current airport (Task force wants to lift night flight curfews at Sydney Airport).
You might think Albo has been - like every other infrastructure minister before him - singularly inept at handling the needs of Sydney, even though his own electorate borders the airport (War looming in the skies of Sydney). And you might like to send him a message.
No, wait a second, that's the message his website is sending you ...
You might want to congratulate Ablo on his expert handling of a crisis involving Dolly Parton. The only infrastructure crisis it seems he's been able to manage in the last few years (Dolly Parton gets lippy over her Aussie hero, Infrastructure Minister Anthony Albanese). Not that this particularly helps his local electorate, but isn't it grand to see him out and about with Dolly.
You might be from the MPAA, determined to hunt down Albo for his plagiarising of Hollywood content, buck passing the blame to his staff, even though he said he wasn't a buck passer, while passing the buck (Anthony Albanese loses the plot after plagiarism of The American President).
Could everybody use that excuse? Um the mp3 and the avis that turned up on my computer were downloaded by my staff, my mother, or my children?
Whatever, one way or another you might want to contact Albo, but be at a loss as to how to contact your local member.
Not to worry. Start a blog.
Mention that your partner once provided a handsome donation to the cause, despite your best endeavours, despite your noting it would end badly.
Point out that it will happen again over your dead body, or when the moon is revealed to be made of green cheese, or the Sydney airport crisis is resolved. By the pond's reckoning, that should be no later than 2050.
Then note that you'll be pleased to see him at the polling booth come the next election. And so will your partner, who now regrets the flush of enthusiasm, the folly ...
With a simple message.
Hasta la vista baby ...
But since he doesn't seem to watch Hollywood movies, will he understand what it means? Perhaps his staff could put it in a speech, so he'll find out ...
(Below: Albo and Dolly. What a sweet pairing).